


Leave A Light On

by LittleMissBadass95



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Falling In Love, Lots of Cuddling, Love at First Sight, M/M, Slow Burn(ish), but true love always wins, elu (SKAM France), elu - Freeform, elu fanfic, lots of lovey dovey moments, no super slow, soft boyfriends, there will also be angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-04-24 05:45:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19167001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissBadass95/pseuds/LittleMissBadass95
Summary: “There are moments which mark your life, moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfic. I hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr: lucas-eliot

Your life can change in the blink of an eye. It only takes one event, one person, one minute, one second for it to happen.

Lucas was in bed, sleeping soundly. Blissfully unaware of the events that lay ahead of him. It was just another Sunday morning; He’d spent last night at a party that took place at Daphne’s place. His best friends, Yann, Basile and Arthur were present as well. Usually, Yann or Arthur are the ones responsible enough to choose not to drink but last night was different. Arthur and his girlfriend of 8 months had called it quits and so, the boys had decided to play rock/paper/scissors in order to decide who was going to be the designated sober person. Said person would, basically, have to make sure that the rest don’t do stupid things. Of course, with Lucas’ incredible luck, he was the one to lose. So, he spent the entire night being grumpy, watching his friends drinking and trying, well, more like failing at getting with girls. To be fair, Basile was the only one trying. Yann and Arthur were content enough with the liquor.

When night came, Arthur and Basile walked home since they lived close by but he had to take Yann back to his place. Now imagine, someone as small as Lucas, trying to hold up someone like Yann. He had accidentally let Yann fall to the ground a couple of times but thankfully his friend was drunk enough not remember Lucas’ clumsiness the following day.

Sundays, for Lucas, are usually the ‘shit I still have to do my homework for tomorrow’ or ‘shit I still need to study for tomorrow’s test’ days. Not this time around though. With the help of Imane, who was his study buddy, he had managed to finish everything on time. So, really, he didn’t have anything to do.

He wakes up to the sound of the birds chirping right outside of his window. He opens his eyes only to be blinded by the sun beaming through the glass. Apparently, he had forgotten to close the curtains. To be fair though, he had been too occupied with trying to get Yann to lay down and not vomit all over his bedroom floor. Lucas brings his hands up to cover his face, rubbing at his sleepy eyes. His vision takes a moment or two to clear up. He reaches for his phone to check on the time but his phone is dead, he’d forgotten to charge it last night. So, he decides to role out of bed, ready for his feet to land on the cold wooden floor but instead, he lands on a warm body which causes him to trip and fall down over said body, his cheek crashing against the person’s forehead.

“OW!!”

“What the hell, dude?!” Yann shrieks as he and Lucas detangle themselves from one another.

The smaller boy gives his friend a sharp, pointed look. “What the hell are you doing here? You were sleeping on the other side of the bed, aka where the mattress I got for you is!” he responds grumpily, rubbing at his aching cheek.

“Oh… I…” Yann struggles to try and remember how in the world he had managed to get all the way on the other side of the bed. “OH! I remember!” he exclaims “It was hot so I got up to open the window and I must have just went back to sleep on the flo-"

They are interrupted by a rough knock on the bedroom wall which Lucas happens to share with Lisa “Keep it down! Some of us are still asleep!!” she practically screams and Lucas can’t help but giggle. She is always so angry and sleepy.

Yann rolls his eyes, a wide grin on his face “She’s…” he pauses for a moment to think of the correct word to use to describe Lucas’ wonderful flat mate “peculiar.” The word comes out more like a question than a statement.

Lucas gets up and off the floor. He is about to leave to grab a cup of coffee when Yann calls out for him. He looks back over his shoulder and notices that his best friend is now on his bed. It’s odd to say the least. Last year, he would have freaked out at the thought of having Yann in his bed but he’s glad to have moved on from his feelings for his friend. Whatever those feelings were. Lucas tells himself that he was simply confused, that he never really had feelings for Yann. The guy was his best friend, was there for him during the whole drama with his parents. He appreciated having someone who cared for him and wouldn’t abandon him which is why he gave himself the allusion of actually having feelings for Yann. It sounds silly now that he thinks of it. Whatever he felt, was simply appreciation.

“You wouldn’t mind if I wanna sleep more, would you?” Yann asks and Lucas simply shakes his head, a hint of a small smile playing about his lips. “Not at all.” He replies and leaves the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week goes by rather quickly.

Monday is usually the longest day. Lucas  has classes up until 16:00. Which he hates. It takes about 30 minutes to get home and when there’s traffic, 40, sometimes even an hour. Getting home that late doesn’t give him that much time to do anything. He just goes home, showers, eats, watches tv, works on school work if he has anything to do then ends up going to sleep.

Tuesday was yet another boring day at school. He couldn’t really concentrate in class for some reason. He didn’t really know why. He just felt out of it.

Wednesday aka his favorite day of the week. They finish school around 13:00 but the teacher usually lets them leave earlier than that. He was home by 13:50. He ate a little sandwich then changed and went out with his friends. They were going to spend the rest of the day at Arthur’s playing video games and such.

Thursday is yet another day that Lucas enjoys, simply because it indicates that it’s almost Friday and Friday means it’s almost the weekend. They went to school but ended up having one class only as the teacher who they would be spending the rest of the school day with was sick. Daphne and the girls had cornered him and his friends after class, telling them about a gathering of some kind. Lucas hadn’t paid attention at that time, he had been busy reading the text he got from his mother. Something about the devil. _Blah blah blah_. He doesn’t read her texts anymore. Every single time his phone buzzes and his mom’s name blares out, he hopes that she’s back to normal, that maybe she’s just texting to see how he is doing, or asking him to meet her but he’s always disappointed, he always receives those weird texts that make no sense. It’s as if his mother thinks she’s responsible for saving earth from the devil. That was why his dad left them. Because his mom was crazy and she’d only gotten worse after that which is why Lucas had left the house and is now living with Mika, Manon and Lisa.

Friday, Lucas woke up having this fluttery sensation in his belly. He couldn’t really tell what it was. He just felt like today was going to be a good day. He was not wrong in that aspect, today was the day his life is going to change.

When he got to school, there was this rumor going around school about a new student. Apparently someone had decided to transfer at such an odd time. Who decided to change schools after the school year has already begun? During lunch break, Lucas was seated on a chair, his tray of food on the table, waiting for his friends who didn’t take that long to appear. They were busy talking about a meetup.

“You’re going too right, Lulu?” Basile wondered.

Lucas’ head shot up, brows furrowed, looking like a confused puppy “Uuhm… yeah sure..?” he asks rather than answers and Arthur interjects “I think Lucas doesn’t know what we’re talking about” he has a big grin on his face.

Yann notes “Yesterday when daphne approached us, she was talking about a gathering of some kind, she said there will be food and drinks. It’s supposed to be a way for us to connect with the rest of the students, make new friends and all.” Lucas simply nods, not remembering any of it, he must have been really distracted.

“Well, that sounds…” the boy stops, trying to think of the correct word to describe it.

“Silly? Stupid?” Arthur adds and earns a hit on his shoulder by Basile who responds with “No! it’s gonna be fun! Come on, guys, you know Daphne has a thing for me and this will be my shot to actually spend time with her to win her over completely.”

The boys share a look, Lucas has to press his lips together in a straight line in order to hold back his giggles. His poor friend really believes he has a shot with Daphne. He let’s out a sigh and nods "Alright, Bas. I’ll be there.”

He has his own selfish reasons for accepting the invitation. You see, Lucas was supposed to pay rent last week and he still has not managed to do so. If he were to go home, Mika would be on his ass like he has been all week. So, spending more time at school means spending less time with Mika. It’s not like Lucas doesn’t want to pay rent, he just doesn’t have the money to do so at the moment. And his father is not really responding to his texts so he can’t do much about it. He tries to get a hold of his father almost everyday. He did so this morning as well but nothing. He sees the little green check marks, meaning his father has seen the texts but prefers to ignore. It frustrates the boy. No wonder his mom went cuckoo.

After the lunch break, Lucas had two more lessons. Firstly, math then the final lesson of the day is literature. Last time they had literature lesson, the teacher had mentioned something about making pairs to do some type of assignment together. Naturally, him and Imane were going to be a duo. She’s his study buddy and well, she helps him out a lot when he doesn’t get something, she’s very smart. Not that Lucas isn’t smart, he just tends to get distracted rather easily.

It was time for the last lesson of the day. Just an hours until the weekend finally starts. Lucas was seated all the way in the back, elbows propped on the table, phone in hands. The teacher wasn’t in yet just as most of the classmates. It was just him and 4 other people. He liked to come in early to choose the perfect spot to sit. Sitting in the back means the teacher doesn’t really notice what he was doing or when he is on his phone so that was his favorite spot.

The boy hadn’t torn his gaze away from his phone screen for around 5 minutes. The students started pouring in and he was still busy scrolling through Instagram. There’s a new trailer for Spiderman. Yes, it might sound geeky but he’s excited for it.

He was watching the trailer after making sure it was muted when he felt this sudden rush. It was like this warm breeze just blew through the room and pushed its way through Lucas’ ribcage, enveloping his entire heart. He was no longer in control of his body, it was forcing him to look up. Lucas would forever be grateful for this in the future because just as he looked up, the most beautiful human being he has ever laid eyes upon walked in. He guessed that this was the new student. He wasn’t new to Lucas though. He’d met him before.

It was Eliott.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read/commented/left kudos on my first chapter!
> 
> Enjoy the gay disaster that is Lucas Lallemant!

Have you ever been so mesmerized by something, or in Lucas’ case someone, that you feel at a complete loss for words? You’re just staring and it’s kind of creepy. Seeing Eliott walking in his classroom left him in that state. He was speechless. It’s such a weird feeling. Like his body and brain are arguing; the brain wants him to stop staring and look back down to his phone, whereas his body is being stubborn and not allowing him to move.

Eliott caught his gaze and flashed him a smile. _Holy shit_ , was all Lucas could think of. He can’t believe Eliott is the ‘new guy’. He’s not new to Lucas. They had met over a year ago at Imane’s birthday party. Eliott is a friend of Imane. They hadn’t really spoken all that much, at least that is what he thinks. He was far too drunk to remember most of the events that took place that evening. Lucas felt back then the same exact way that he is right now: completely captivated. At that time, he had blamed his sudden attraction to this beautiful stranger on the alcohol running through his system. With it being dark that night and him being out of it, he hadn’t noticed or seen the full extent of Eliott’s beauty. There’s just something so alluring about this guy. Lucas remembers making weird, flirty(ish) kind of comments to Eliott that night. Don't judge him okay? He was very tipsy.

He hopes Eliott doesn’t remember him.

The teacher walks in right after Eliott. Lucas finally manages to shake himself out of his paralyzed state when his phone buzzes in his hand, indicating the arrival of a new notification. He drops his gaze to the screen and is surprised to see it’s a text from Imane. It seems like she is sick and won’t be making it to class today. Just his luck.

There are only two empty seats left in the classroom. One is beside a girl whose name he cannot recall and the other one is beside him. Obviously, Eliott opts to sit next to him.

 _Don’t make it weird;_ Lucas keeps telling himself. He pretends to be busy with his phone, going through WhatsApp, acting as though he is texting. He can feel the intense gaze of the beautiful boy sitting next to him. It has such a strong effect on him that he cannot help but tear his gaze away from the phone and in the process, be almost blinded by the bright smile of Eliott when he looks up. _Wow_. He has to blink a couple of times in order to have a proper look at the boy next to him. The sun should be careful because it might be out of work soon.

Eliott has an amused look on his face and it takes Lucas a moment to realize just how much like an idiot he must seem right now. He stared at this guy like a creep when he entered then proceeded to ignore him when the boy sat next to him and right now, he’s blinking like a moron, looking at him, not saying a word. This must be the longest someone’s not spoken. It’s like his brain isn’t cooperating with his body.

“Hi” the taller boy finally breaks the silence. His voice is as smooth as honey and silk. _Wow, Lucas, way to be cheesy._

Shit. He realizes that he still has not responded. “Hey” it comes out a bit hoarse and small, causing the taller boy's smile to grow wider. _There it is again. That blinding smile._ He clears his throat and tries again. “Hi. Sorry. I was thinking about something.”

A soft scoff escapes Eliott’s beautiful lips “I bet.”

Lucas is ready for Eliott to tease him about that night when he was drunkenly telling the taller boy that he has pretty eyes or that his hair looks so soft that he wanted to run his fingers through it. His lips part, ready to apologize when the boy interrupts “I’m Eliott by the way.”

“Wait what?” Lucas doesn’t realize he has said that aloud until he sees the confusion on the other boy’s face. His eyes widen as he tries to find a way to salvage this situation. “I mean.. I wanted to ask what your name was but you beat me to it.. my brain takes too long to give orders to my mouth.” _What the hell does that even mean???_ At least it makes the older boy laugh. His laugh sounds like music to Lucas’ ears.

“I’m Lucas” he awkwardly states. Trying his very best to fix things. He’s probably the only person who is this socially awkward and he's praying not make things worse.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

 _Is it though? Are you not creeped out?_ Lucas thinks and just offers a soft smile with a nod before adding “Same here.”

Thank goodness Eliott doesn’t remember him. It would have been so embarrassing. Although, he just made a complete fool of himself again around this guy so him not remembering doesn’t accomplish anything.

But wait...

 _How can Eliott not remember him? Why is that bothering him? He didn’t want the boy to remember him so why is he so upset by it?_ He decides to blame his dummy-like behavior on the fact that he is hungry.

It is difficult to focus on what the teacher is saying for the next hour. Lucas spends the lesson acting as though he's taking notes of what the teacher is explaining when in reality, he's just doodling. He's never been good at drawing so it looks like a 3-year-old had used his notebook as a canvas for their art.

He almost flinches when he feels a little nudge on his shoulder, coming from Eliott's side. He looks up and the other boy just smiles and speaks in a quiet tone “So, what do you say?”

Lucas blinks at him, yet again, confused as ever. _Had Eliott said something?_ The older boy’s lips twitched up to a cheeky grin before he repeats: “Do you want to be my partner for the project?”

“Sure.” Is all Lucas is able to say. He’d completely forgotten about Imane. Hell. He’d completely forgotten about the world around him and Eliott is all he can focus on.

“Great! Wanna meet up during the weekend to work on it? Eliott seems excited which only makes Lucas more nervous. _How the hell is he going to be able to function like a normal human being around Eliott if just greeting him took so much effort?_

Lucas nodded with his head, a small smile finding its way across his lips. “Yeah, sure. I can text you so we can plan when and where to meet.” The beautiful boy next to him smiles and grabs a pen, gesturing to the notebook Lucas was doodling on earlier. Lucas nods and allows Eliott to scribble down his number on an empty spot on the paper. He takes a bit longer than people usually do when writing down their number but when Lucas looks down to the paper, he notices that Eliott had fixed one of his drawings and turned it into a gerbil. _How cute is that?_

The bell rings before Lucas can say anything. Eliott shoots up, smile as bright as ever. He seems to have such a bubbly personality. “It was good to meet you, Lucas! And text me when to meet up..” he takes a small pause before playfully adding “you know... for the project.”

Lucas watches Eliott leave and takes a deep breath. _Holy shit, that was weird._ It felt like he was no longer in control of himself and his actions the moment Eliott walked in the room. He should probably go grab a bite before heading Daphne's weird thing.

 

* * *

 

It’s Friday 16:45. Lucas and his friends are at that gathering thingy of Daphne. They have been here for over an hour already and there still aren't that many people around. Basile has been trying to get an alone moment with Daphne ever since they got here. So far he has not been very successful. Yann is engaged in a conversation with his ex, Emma. It’s amazing how they decided to remain friends after breaking up. Lucas had a hand in breaking them up though. He still feels very bad every time he sees them together. But, like, if they truly wanted to be together, then they would have fixed things, right?

He still hasn’t gotten over how clumsy he’d gotten when Eliott showed up earlier. It’s not that difficult to function around human beings, is it?

Lucas is standing by the food and drinks table, a plastic cup in hand, watching the people around him. The whole event is probably ending any time now and he can finally go home. He doesn’t really pay attention or hear the sound of footsteps approaching him until someone is whispering “Boo” in his ear. He flinches, almost spilling his drink. The voice of the person is so smooth that he recognizes it before even looking at said person.

Eliott.

The tall boy has another one of those gorgeous smiles plastered on his face. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Lucas scoffs, trying to recollect himself, pull his shit together. One hand smoothing down his shirt. “I was not scared. Simply surprised.” He explains unconvincingly.

“Right. Of course.” Eliott utters. Obviously not believing a word the shorter boy said. “It’s cool to see you here. Didn’t realize you were coming.”

Lucas simply shrugs, noting “I would say the same thing to you. You got here around the end but somehow you still have girls basically drooling over you.” he subtly gestures with his head to the direction of one of the first year students who was staring at Eliott, giggling with her friends.

The taller boy shifts his weight until he is facing Lucas, hip leaning against the table, head tilted to the side. “Who says they’re not staring at you, sir? I mean…” the intense manner of Eliott’s gaze studying Lucas'  face leaves him dumbfounded. The older boy seemed to find something amusing because he was smirking now. Did Lucas have something on his face?

Wait..

Is he blushing?

His cheeks feel hot.

He shakes his head. _Change the damn subject!_ His brain is basically yelling at him, he clears his throat and murmurs “So, what do you think of our lovely school so far?”

The sudden change of topic does not go unnoticed by the taller boy but he simply grins and responds "It’s cool. We didn’t have gatherings such as this one back at my old school. It’s a great way to meet new people or get to know people you’ve already met better.”

It’s a good way to think of it but Lucas already knows everyone in here. Maybe these kinds of events are more appropriate for people who want to make friends “I suppose.” He finally speaks, catching the older boy’s attention.

The two boys stand there, staring at each other for a moment or two before Yann comes over, wrapping an arm around Lucas’ shoulders. “Hey, buddy!” He seems to feel like he interrupted something because he immediately turns to Eliot “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Eliott and Lucas shake their heads in unison, informing Yann that he didn't barge in on anything. “I’m Yann by the way, Lulu’s best friend. You’re the new guy right, Eliott?” the smile on Eliott’s face becomes so wide when Yann calls Lucas 'Lulu'

“Yeah, I'm Eliott. It’s nice to meet you” Yann and Eliott shake hands before his best friend excuses himself when his phone is buzzing.

They are left alone once again. “Lulu huh?” The older boy interjects, grinning from ear to ear. _Well, damn. Back to blushing_. Lucas takes a long sip of his drink, trying to avoid answering the taller boy for as long as possible.

When his glass is empty and he has nothing else to use to avoid Eliott, he looks up. “I’m excited to work on the project. It’s going to be fun." _way to be subtle in changing subjects, Lulu._ He just wants to stop blushing. It’s as clear as a sunny day to Eliott but thankfully, he isn’t pressing Lucas to respond. He simply smiles.

“Yeah, I have a couple of ide-..” the taller boy is interrupted by Daphne’s voice, calling Lucas over. Lucas doesn’t want to go, he is finally functioning properly and not looking like an absolute fool in front of Eliott. He looks over to his friend, she is gesturing and waving wildly for him to go over there. With a deep, grumpy sigh, he excuses himself and walks up to her. There is another girl standing beside her, short, brunette, her hair is pinned up in a messy bun.

“Lucas, this is Chloe! She is a friend of mine!” he looks over to Daphne. If looks could kill Lucas would have turned into a murderer right at this second.

“Hey..” the small brunette says and smiles.

Okay, she is beautiful and has a nice smile. She seems like a nice person but he would honestly much rather get back to Eliott and be blinded by his sunshine-like personality. “Hi, I’m Lucas.”

The brunette giggles. “Yeah, I know.”

He simply nods, forcing a small smile on his face. He doesn’t want to be rude and just walk off but at the same time, he can’t hold himself back from looking over to where Eliott is. Chloe seems to be talking because her lips are moving but Lucas isn’t hearing anything. He is just nodding every so often not to come off as rude.

The next time Lucas drags his gaze over to Eliott’s direction. The boy is nowhere to be seen. _Putain_.

“I’m sorry, I completely forgot that I need to be somewhere. It was nice to meet you, Chloe.” He remarks, not letting her finish whatever her sentence was. He makes sure to keep his tone as friendly as possible. She seems upset by this but when she nods, it’s his cue to leave.

He finds his way out of the foyer, looking around from side to side.

Eliott is nowhere around.

He had left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: lucas-eliot.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading this! You guys make my days!

It’s pretty early on a Saturday morning. Everyone is probably still asleep except for Lucas. He is wide awake, phone in hand. He’d saved Eliott’s number in his phone and was trying to figure out what to text him. The boy had spent the last 30 minutes debating how to start the conversation. Also, he kept staring at Eliott’s profile picture. It’s just a picture of a light in a dark place. Weird. Maybe he just doesn’t like sharing pictures of himself which would make sense because Lucas had spent a good amount of time last night searching for Eliott on Instagram but he had not been able to find anything. At the gathering, he and Eliott had made plans(ish) to meeting up sometime today or tomorrow to work on the project for literature class. Lucas hadn’t given his number to the other boy so it was up to him to text. During those 30 minutes that he had spent staring at his phone blankly, he probably typed hundreds of things then deleted them. He has to send something though so here it goes.

The moment his finger touched the send button he regretted it but it’s too late now. The message has already been sent. He’d just have to wait for Eliott to respond.

Fuck. He had forgotten to tell Imane that he will be teaming up with Eliott. So, he makes a mental note to text her later. He doesn’t think that she will get mad at all. Anyone she ends up pairing with will probably be a better partner than him.

The sound of birds singing outside was going to make it difficult to fall back asleep so he might as well get up. It’s his turn to go grocery shopping and Mika has made a huge list of things they need. Lucas didn’t really enjoy going to the supermarket, it’s always so crowded and there are so many isles and things to be on the lookout for. But he kind of has to. His father still had not sent him the money for rent. He can’t just live here and not doing anything. Manon has tried to pay for him a couple of times but he doesn’t let her do that. He is not her responsibility. It’s nice that she cares so much for him but He can’t bring himself to let her or any one of his friends help him when it comes to this issue.

He lay in bed for a while longer, he is still, kind of, sort of unable to get over the fact that Eliott doesn't remember him. He remembers Eliott helping him and taking care of him when he was drunk and vomiting all over Emma's backyard. It's not a very nice memory but still, is he that forgettable? Eliott did not seem at all drunk that night. He was like an angel sent from up above to help Lucas out. The more the boy thinks about that night, the more little details he remembers. Like Eliott getting him a glass of water and making him coffee. Or how Eliott had helped him put his jacket on because Lucas was complaining about being cold while holding his jacket. That night was a total mess. He wishes he can remember it. Like really, truly remember every single little detail. Maybe he imagined Eliott being there. That would explain why he can't remember his clumsy ass.

A loud huff escapes the small boy's throat. Laying in bed is not going to accomplish anything. It just makes him start overthinking things and he doesn't feel like doing that right now. So, he rolls out of bed, reaching down for his shirt which he’d deposited on the floor last night. He slips the shirt on then runs a hand through his mess of a hair. Turning his gaze to the small alarm clock placed over the bedside table, he notices that it’s almost 8:10. Good time to grab a cup of coffee then head out. He hadn’t received any texts from his friends about hanging out tonight so he assumed that they’re all busy with their own lives. The small, sleepy boy tugs a pair of grey sweats on before making his way out of his bedroom. It was rather silent in the flat. The bedroom doors of Mika, Manon and Lisa were shut which meant that they were all sound asleep.

Once in the kitchen, the boy adds coffee in the filter basket of the coffee maker, pouring water afterward then plugging the machine in and switching it on. He stands there, fiddling with his phone, checking to see if he has any missed notification, waiting for a specific person to respond to him.

As if on cue, his phone buzzed and Eliott’s name appeared on the screen. He panicked for a moment but it’s the good kind of panic. Like, when the person you like texts you back and you get all excited and giddy. Lucas, obviously, took no time at all to open the message.

Lucas stares at the screen, a smile splitting across his face. He is disappointed at the fact that he cannot see Eliott today but at least he can tomorrow. He inhales deeply and takes no time to respond. He doesn’t even care he is making it obvious to the other boy that he has been staring at his phone, waiting for a reply.

Technically, that was a lie. Lisa is going to be in her room all day long, Manon is usually with the girls and Mika was talking about a date he has on Sunday but Lucas just wants to keep Eliott away from everyone. His own little secret. Not like anything is going to happen with them. He just wants to have a friend that is his own. Does he think of Eliott as a friend though? Because he doesn’t remember a time where he smiled like an idiot at the screen of his phone just for getting a text regarding a school project from anyone else. But he doesn’t like guys. He’d have figured it out if he were gay. Besides, he doesn’t even know Eliott. He literally just met him yesterday and during the time they’d interacted, he’d made a fool of himself by firstly, feeling so captivated by Eliott that he actually didn’t know how to respond to the boy greeting him then secondly staring at him like he’s a painting or something. He knows for sure that Eliott had noticed his awkwardness but by some miracle, he had not teased Lucas about it. The effect Eliott seems to have on him is baffling. Is he that desperate for a friend? He already has friends though. So, what is his deal with his guy? He plans to figure it out tomorrow since they will be spending a lot of time together.

_Damn it_. His cheeks are feeling so hot again, and they are hurting from smiling so much. It’s not like this is the first time someone calls him ‘Lulu’ yet it’s so very different when Eliott does it. He can just hear Eliott’s smooth as chocolate voice in his head, calling him Lulu and that just makes his stomach do a cartwheel. He should probably start practicing on how not to turn into a tomato around Eliott because it seems like no matter what the other boy says to him, he ends up flushing red. Maybe he just wants attention from someone, anyone. To be quite honest though, nobody has ever looked at him the way Eliott does and nobody has ever made his stomach feel like there is an entire freaking zoo taking refugee in it.

Just then, Mika walks in, he doesn’t take long to notice Lucas’ giddiness. “Someone’s in a good mood.”

Lucas blinks up, tearing his gaze away from the screen. Just realizing that Mika was also in the kitchen. “What? Hi. Good morning. I’m good, you?” _Did he even ask how I’m doing?_ Lucas wonders.

His flatmate tries his very best to hold back his laughter, lips turned up in a wide grin. “Good morning to you too, kitten. Any special reason as to why you’re especially jolly this fine morning?”

“What? I’m not jolly! I was just watching a video of a duck that thinks it’s a dog.” _What kind of stupid excuse is that?_   The small, grumpy boy scolds himself. 

“Oh yeah? Can I see it?” Mika inquires.

“Sorry. I just closed it. Dunno if I can find it again.” _Just stop talking_. “Anyway, I made coffee and I’m gonna go grocery shopping soon if you wanna add anything else to the list” Lucas pours coffee into his mug and takes a small sip of the hot drink before he rushes out of the kitchen, trying to avoid Mika and his millions of questions. He is pretty sure that Mika would've continued to ask him questions about why his cheeks look like two little tomatoes. He probably would have assumed that Lucas has a crush on Eliott which he doesn't. At least not that he knows of at the moment.

The rest of the day passes by quickly. Lucas goes grocery shopping with Lisa who Mika had forced out of her room. He wanted to wash the covers and had to find a way to get her out of the flat. Manon had gone out before Mika was able to dump Lisa on her. So, Lucas was stuck with her. She wasn't that bad though. She just seemed like she hates the world. She's always so grumpy and not in the mood to do anything. She didn’t really talk to him through the entire trip, just made snide comments that made him chuckle every so often. Lisa has always been like that. He might find her peculiar but she is who she is and she's been good to him.

When he gets back to the flat, he gets a text from his friends, saying they want to hang out and meet at the park. Seeing as he won’t be spending the day with Eliott as he had planned, he goes to the park and spends the rest of the day with his friends. They end up having a good time together. He always feels very blessed with the friends he has. They seem to manage to get him to smile even when doesn’t feel like. And there have been a lot of times when he was at such a bad mood that he didn’t feel like talking or doing anything. Yann is the only one who knows about his situation with his parents but even though Basile and Arthur don’t know anything, they are still very supportive of him. They don’t try to force him to talk to them, they're just there. Sometimes that is all you need.

At night, Lucas gets in bed with the biggest smile on his face. He checks his phone to see if he has received anything new from a certain someone but there was nothing. Eliott hadn’t even been online since 9 in the morning. The guy is so mysterious and intriguing. Lucas just wants to try to get to know him as best as he can because Eliott seems like one of those people you meet once in a lifetime.

You know, people usually dislike Sundays but not Lucas. Not this time around.

Because tomorrow, he will be seeing Eliott.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas and Eliott spend Sunday together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeding you some Elu content

Lucas had woken up at 7 in the morning this time. He is way too excited to sleep but being the oblivious person that he is, he assumed that the reason he was unable to sleep was that it was too cold in the room. Granted, the room was the slightest bit chilly but he still had not come to the conclusion that he is attracted to Eliott. He’d gotten up, turned the heat up then went back to bed and rolled a blanket around his figure until he looked like a burrito. A burrito of clumsiness.

Just as yesterday, he kept checking his phone all morning in hopes that a certain special someone had maybe texted him but nothing. He’d gotten out of bed, had breakfast and worked on any homework he had just to ensure that rest of his day would be free to work on the project with Eliott. It wasn’t until noon that Mr. Eliott Demaury decided to grace Lucas with his presence by sending the boy his address. Lucas can finally make a plan on how to get to the other boy by figuring out which bus to take.

 

It was late in the noon now and Lucas was on the bus, mere minutes away from Eliott. His palms had gotten a bit sweaty and he keeps nervously bouncing his leg. In an attempt to calm himself down, he’d decided to listen to some music and look out of the window. It’s such a beautiful day today. Cold but still sunny. The sky is so blue and clear. Just as on any other Sunday, the streets were crowded with people going about their day.

The bus halts to a stop when Lucas reaches his destination. He gets up, thanks the bus driver and steps out of the vehicle. Eliott Is already there, seated on the benches, a cigarette propped between his beautiful lips, his smile as brilliant as ever the moment his eyes spot Lucas which makes the boy grin gleefully.

“Hi” Lucas states, trying to come off as nonchalant as possible, thinking that it might weird Eliott out if he notices how excited he is.

“Hi back!” _How can a person manage to look that good all the time?_ “You ready?” he asks and Lucas simply nods, watching the older boy basically hop up to his feet, taking the lead whilst Lucas follows him.

“I’m sorry for being late. I lost track of time trying to find my laptop so I missed the bus and had to wait for the next one.. hope you didn’t have to wait for too long.” Lucas feels guilty for being late. He would hate to know that he made Eliott wait for him out here for a long time.

The older boy shakes his head, smile not wavering off his face. “It’s fine, Lucas. I don’t live that far away and I only came out when you told me you were close by.”

“Okay, good. Good.” Lucas says in relief. Letting Eliott guide him toward his place. He is paying close to attention to where the older boy is leading him to. You know, just in case they need to meet up again. For the project, of course.

It takes them around 5 minutes until they reach the apartment building. Eliott unlocks the door and lets them in. There are no elevators as the building is not that large. So, they take the stairs. Eliott lives on the very last floor and Lucas is ready to complain about having to climb so many flights of stairs when they finally arrive. Eliott unlocks the door and lets Lucas go in first before following him inside.

“Make yourself at home.” The older boy states while disposing of his jacket and shoes.

Lucas smiles and kicks his shoes off by the door before stepping in, dropping his backpack to the floor, hands coming up to remove the big ass scarf he has wrapped around his neck, dropping it on the couch. His blue gaze is studying every surface, scanning his surroundings, trying to learn as much as possible about Eliott through anything he can lay his eyes on. He spots a piano and above it, there are sketches and drawings of what seems like a raccoon? A badger? Different types of animals.

“Did you draw these?” He asks as Eliott comes in, two bottles of beer in hand. He removes the caps before handing one over to Lucas.

“I did draw them. It was a long time ago though. I can draw myself better now.” He states like it’s the most casual thing in the world, clinking his bottle to Lucas’.

“What?” Lucas is unable to hold back a giggle from escaping his throat. “Because that’s you.. what is it.. uhm..” he takes a moment to think before asking “a badger?”

Eliott looks at him like he has just uttered the most preposterous thing ever. “You think that’s a badger?” he shakes his head, tutting in playful disappointment. “Oh, Lulu… that’s a raccoon! My spirit animal!” he sounds so enthusiastic about it that Lucas cannot help but grin at how adorable Eliott is.

“A badger is your spirit animal?” his tone is teasing, joking.

Eliott gives him a pointed look. “A raccoon! Raccoons are awesome! Plus they wear masks” he gestures across his face.

Lucas cannot hold back a soft babble of laughter from escaping his lips. Eliott is so very passionate about his love for raccoons. It’s rather adorable. How can a person be that precious? There are sketches of all kinds of animals though. So maybe that is how Eliott expresses his thoughts, through drawing people the way he sees them. The small boy is quite fascinated by this concept and can’t help but wonder if Eliott already has a specific animal that he links to him.

“What about me though?” he asks, catching Eliott’s attention right away. “How would you draw me, if you had to?” Lucas is surprised by the confidence in his own voice.

The look on Eliott’s face is priceless. The way he looks up and down Lucas, the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, the way his eyes seemed to be shining so bright. _Well shit_ , if Lucas had known asking that question would earn him such a spellbinding look, he would have done it earlier.

“I don’t know..” The older boy finally answers, taking a sip of his drink as if he needs it to smooth his vocal cords. “I’ll have to think about it.”

Lucas just has the most gleeful smile plastered over his lips, lifting his brows up and wiggling them causing Eliott to chuckle. It’s been a while since the boy felt this comfortable around someone. It’s rather difficult to try and describe what's it's like. He just feels safe and sound. Sure, he feels good around his friends but this different. It’s an entirely new type of feeling that he is not used to. But it is oh so thrilling.

The boys stand there, eyes locked, smiling at each other for a few moments. Neither wanting to look away until the sound of Lucas’ phone buzzing breaks the silence. “Sorry..” Lucas fishes his phone out of his pocket and without even taking a second to look at who texted or called him, he shuts his down and shoves it back in his pocket. “Shall we get to work?”

“Yes! Of course!” Eliott downs the rest of his drink before leaving the bottle aside. “But first, are you hungry? I mean, I don’t have that much in my kitchen but I’m sure I can whip up something. I’m actually in the mood for food.”

It seems like they will not be getting any work done in relation to school. Not like Lucas was complaining. His brain and body are finally functioning how they should and not making him freeze and forget how to speak. He nods with his head slowly. “I could eat.”

“Great! How about grilled cheese sandwiches?” Eliott said whilst gesturing with his head for Lucas to follow him which he does without a second thought.

“Anything is good with me. I am very into food and will eat anything.” The younger boy says and catches the little smirk that Eliott had to hold back.

“How about we make our very own grilled cheese sandwich? We can add surprising things to it!” He takes a small pause and adds “We will call it the.. Elucas sandwich?”

Lucas can’t but grin adoringly, kind of makes them sound like Brangelina. “Well, Elucas sounds weird.”

“That’s weird too? Everything is weird with you.” Eliott notes, hunching one shoulder up in a tiny shrug that made the butterflies in Lucas’ stomach start violently fluttering. “I must be weird too.”

“But.. that’s not what I said!” Lucas interjects defensively. For a split second he thought that he had, somehow, offended Eliott but then the older boy grins oh so brightly and Lucas is not able to hold himself back from slapping Eliott’s arm.

“What about.. the chelou grilled cheese sandwich.” The younger boy suggests. Meanwhile, Eliott is taking basically everything he has stored in the fridge out. That sandwich is going to be something his stomach is not gonna be very happy with.

Eliott looks back at him over his shoulder, looking like an absolute model. “Chelou huh?” he is grinning and it’s so difficult for Lucas to read his expressions but he seems happy with it. “I like it! Chelou it is!”

Lucas leans with his hip against the small kitchen island, studying Eliott’s movements closely. He cannot help but be fascinated with this boy. He doesn’t know much about him, he literally met him yesterday but… there is this… this connection between them. Sometimes you just meet a person and it feels right, it feels like you have known each other for years. Being with Eliott feels like that. That thought is terrifying to the younger boy though because what would happen if one day Eliott decided to stop talking to him? There Is nothing he hates more than being left behind.

Lucas is snapped out of his thoughts by the smooth voice of Eliott “Can you get me the cheddar cheese? I forgot to take it out.” Lucas nods and obliges, swinging the fridge door open, eyes wandering around the items neatly settled on the shelves. He spots the product in question and plucks it out.   

“Alright..” The older boy says. “what shall we add to it? Parsley? Oregano? Dill?”

“Yes!”

Eliott looks up grinning, a confused look on his face. “Yes, what? All?”

“Yes! Add everything you have. In fact, add some basil and fennel!” Eliott is looking at him like he’s some type of food criminal but he ends up just smiling and nodding in approval.

“Some cardamom would do wonders to this wonderful new recipe that we are creating.” Eliott states, his smile as bright as ever.

To be quite honest, that sounds horrible but Lucas is having a good time with it. “Put some ginger powder if you have it.”  

“Oh, damn, that’s just gonna make it even more delicious!” The older boy states, his tone playful.

“Most certainly!” Lucas saunters toward Eliott, stopping by his side, watching as the taller boy grills the sandwiches, his nose scrunching up “That smells…”

“Awful? Horrible? Absolutely horrifying?” Eliott suggests, finishing Lucas’ sentence.

“All of the above! Can’t wait to eat it!” He scoffs.

Minutes later, they are seated next to each other on the couch in the living room. Eliott did not want to use the table in the kitchen and Lucas did not really care at all. Spending time with Eliott was all that really mattered to him even though he was still oblivious to that point. Soft music is playing in the background. It had been since Lucas got here but hadn’t really noticed it until now. Eliott probably has his phone plugged in into the speakers.

As suspected, the sandwiches were horrible. Just horrible. All it took was one small bite and both the boys felt like spitting it out but they fought through the pain and finished that bite.

Lucas holds a hand against his mouth, trying his very hardest not to gag. All the mixed herbs and spices were not sitting well in his stomach. “No offense but you’re a horrible cook!”

Eliott looks utterly offended but it is done in a joking manner, he is still smiling. “Me?! you’re the one who wanted to add everything!! It’s not that bad though.”

“Oh, yeah?” Lucas arches up a brow. “Prove it. Take another bite.”

Eliott looks at him through hooded eyes, his stare is sharp, pointed. He goes to take another bite but ends up reaching for a napkin and spitting it out.

Lucas is laughing like a child. It’s not a practically funny situation but he has not been this happy and at ease in a very long time. He feels at peace. Like everything makes sense. He is enjoying his time more than he thought possible.

“You think that’s funny, huh?” Eliott tries to act as though he is hurt, upset by Lucas but ends up cracking and joining the younger boy in laughter.

The following two hours are spent with them listening to Eliott’s favorite genre of music which turns out to be dubstep. Definitely not something Lucas would casually listen to but he is intrigued by it and decides to start listening dubstep from now on. Especially after seeing how excited Eliott was to share this with him.

Lucas is a completely different person around Eliott. He is more himself. He is happy, making silly jokes, dancing to Eliott’s weird favorite songs. This will go down as one of Lucas’ favorite nights with anyone ever. The whole atmosphere is just joyous.

Lucas does not really pay much attention to the time. Neither of them does. They are just in their own little bubble. The Eliott and Lucas bubble of silliness. They don’t have deep, heart to heart conversations but they are just connecting in more ways than one. They are sharing little things. Sometimes those little things, the small details, they are everything.

At some point during the night, the boys are seated so close to each other on the couch, heads laying on the back of it, staring deeply into the other’s eyes which is their thing apparently. It’s like, whenever neither of them says something for a second, their eyes take over the moment. They say eyes are the mirror to the soul. Well, if that is true then Lucas feels like he has just been given the honor of getting to know Eliott’s soul which happens to be the most beautiful, bubbly, kind soul he has ever known. For a moment, Lucas thinks that he notices Eliott leaning the slightest bit closer but the sound of a phone vibrating, rattling up against the small wooden table in front of them ruins the mood.

Lucas tries to peek over and see who is calling or texting but Eliott is too quick. He is already putting his phone back on the table, facing down after he silences it.

“Sorry about that. It was an unknown number.” He says and Lucas can tell that he is laying. Eliott has very expressive eyes. If you want to know anything about him, just look into his eyes. They are so full of emotions and untold stories. But Lucas doesn’t care that Eliott is hiding whatever he’s hiding from him. He respects Eliott’s privacy.

“It’s okay..” The younger boy’s gaze finds the clock hanging on the wall as it’s ticking sound is the only thing filling the silence now. He should probably excuse himself and go back home.

“Are you up to watching a movie?” Eliott breaks the silence. Surprising Lucas with his offer. They had made plans to work on their project and yet they have not done shit. They spent most of the time just talking and gazing at each other. They had shared a lot of stories that are school related but Eliott had not offered any explanation as to why he’s in class with Lucas when he was supposed to graduate over a year ago. Lucas doesn’t ask because it feels like a personal topic and he doesn’t want to intrude. If Eliott wants to share anything with him then he can do it on his own when he feels comfortable with it.

“I wouldn’t want to impose.. I have been here for hours, eating all your food” He nods with his head toward the table where empty snack packets lay. Their efforts to make sandwiches weren't successful and so the snacks were all they had to eat.

The older boy offers one of his blinding smiles once again. “Don’t be silly. I’m having a good time with you.. surprisingly” the final word is spoken in a frivolous tone.

“Oh? So you thought I was gonna be boring?! I am offended!” Lucas shakes his head, trying to come off angry but ends up grinning.

“Not at all. You seemed… like you were not very… I don’t know… taken aback? Or weirded out by me?”

“No.. I…” the younger boy pauses, trying to figure out how to say ‘I find you very attractive and it makes me act like a complete idiot who doesn’t know how to interact or speak or do anything’ without sounding like a buffoon. “I’m just socially awkward, I guess.”

“No…” The older boy is quick to respond, shaking his head. A lock of his fringe is falling over his forehead and Lucas has to fight back the urge to reach over and brush it back “You’re very cute.” He adds.

Lucas doesn’t know if he’s blushing but his face feels flaming hot. In fact, everything around him feels like it’s on fire. Aside from that, billions of tiny butterflies are fluttering in his stomach. All of those components combined together are making it impossible for him to remember what speaking is. Hell. He doesn’t even know what breathing is anymore. Eliott can see the effect he has on his because he is just smiling so adorably, his eyes are shining like two beautiful blue stars and it is making everything wonderfully worse for Lucas.

Realizing that Lucas is no longer capable of functioning, Eliott decides to put him out of his misery. “So, what movie do you feel like watching?”

“Uh.. what? Movie? Uh… yeah! I don’t mind!” He stumbles through his words but manages to speak which is an improvement on a couple of moments ago.

“I’ll just randomly pick something then.” Eliott turns the TV on, switching through the channels, stopping on a black and white movie. Lucas doesn’t even care about the so-called TV device across from him. He is far more aware of Eliott’s presence by his side now and it is all his brain can concentrate on.

“Are you warm?” The older boy asks, causing Lucas’ head to whip up in order to have a proper look at him. “It’s just.. your face is all red.”

 _Fuck_.

Is Eliott trying to get him to turn into a tomato right then and there?

Shaking his head, the small, blushing-mess of a boy stutters “No… I’m good..”

Eliott is grinning, he reaches over and brushes a hair out of Lucas’ sight, whispering under his breath “Adorable.”

The boys spend the rest of the night sharing a cigarette, eating and talking. They barely pay attention to anything happening around them. The TV is there just as a muted decoration. The sounds of their voices, their laughter and soft-spoken words the only thing filling the room. They don’t even realize how many hours pass them by. It’s like the world around them had disappeared.

Somewhere along the night, Lucas had been so focused on the screen, watching the muted TV that he didn’t realize how sleepy he’d gotten or how late it was. Then his eyes were fluttering and moments later, he just drifted off, head dropping on Eliott’s shoulder. The other boy doesn’t move at all. He just, very carefully reaches for the sofa blanket which is laying by his side and covers the younger boy. The movement causing him to grumble in his sleep, earning a wide grin from Eliott who rests his head on top of Lucas’. Eliott had it rough last year but things are finally starting to make sense for him again. Everything will be fine from this moment on. He’s never met anyone like the sleeping boy next to him whose hair appears to have a life of its own because it keeps tickling Eliott’s cheek. In that moment, it hits him. He knows how to draw Lucas. He doesn’t move from his place though, not wanting to wake the other boy. Letting himself fall asleep with his head nuzzled up atop of Lucas'. You might think the position would be uncomfortable to sleep in but it was the best sleep both of them have had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art used was taken from the following site: http://dezigningart.com/


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took forever to finish. My stupid laptop kept crashing every single time I was done with it!   
> Uuuf I feel so tired so I am going to sleep now but thank you once again to everyone reads my silly lil fanfic! You guys make my day with your comments :3

It’s Monday at 5:30 in the morning. Lucas wakes up with the biggest smile on his face. He feels so relaxed like he’d just had the best sleep of his life. It takes him a moment or two to register the fact that there is a warm body beside him which he’s nuzzled up against. His eyes shoot open and head whips up; Eliott’s beautiful sleeping face being the first thing to greet him. He looks so good and at peace. He’s still sleeping, thank god. The small boy decides that he needs to get out of here quickly because he is starting to panic. He had fallen asleep on Eliott’s shoulder and the other guy had even covered him with a blanket to ensure that he won’t get cold. The gesture melts Lucas' heart but it's not enough to calm him down right now.

Taking in a few deep breaths, Lucas somehow manages to detangle himself from Eliott. Maybe he had some secret-hidden ninja skills that he did not know about before. He grabs his shoes, jacket, and the useless backpack. He’s about to leave but he stops. It feels like a much more powerful force is telling him to stop. He casts a glance back over his shoulder at Eliott who was still sound asleep on the couch. He can’t just leave like that, right? It would be kind of rude of him. Plus, he really doesn’t want Eliott to wake up and assume that he weirded Lucas out. In all honesty, spending the night there was all that the boy needed.

He decides to leave a small note. Eliott has a lot of papers and notebooks laying about so Lucas grabs one of them. It is filled with a variety of sketches. Most of them are of a raccoon being covered by different types of dark scribbles. Lucas assumes that these are the drawings that Eliott doesn’t like, the ones he scribbled on out of frustration. He finds a blank piece of paper, rips it out and writes a little note on it. It’s not weird, right?

_**Good morning!** _

_**I had to leave quickly so I can get a change of clothes then go to school.** _

_**I hope I did not make you sleep uncomfortably.** _

_**Lucas** _

_**PS: I am sorry for ripping this paper out of your sketchbook!** _

He does not have the best handwriting but at least it is readable.

The second Lucas leaves the apartment building, the grumpiness starts creeping back up in his mind. He truly does not want to leave. He is forcing his legs to walk to the bus stop. He just hopes that his flatmates won’t be asking too many questions with regards to his whereabouts. _Fuck_. He had completely forgotten to check on his phone. So, he takes it out of his pocket and unlocks the screen only to be greeted by 2 missed calls from Mika, 150 messages in the group chat with his friends, and one text from his mother. He decides to ignore the texts. He will be seeing everyone in the next two hours anyway.

Once home, he notices that everyone is still asleep which is perfect. He can pretend to have come home late and is just waking up. So, the boy uses those secret ninja skills of his to get to his bedroom without making a sound.

Being all alone in his bedroom gives him the opportunity to process all of last night's events. Which were a lot and sort of overwhelming. The bewildered boy drops himself on the bed and covers his face with his palms, trying to inhale deeply in order to calm down. His palms are starting to get all sweaty, heart beating faster and all of the oxygen around him feels like it's being sucked out.

He cannot deny the fact that he feels a connection with Eliott. One that is new, exciting and terrifying all at the same time. But does that mean that he likes him? Is he attracted to him? Does it mean that he is gay? He certainly never showed this much interest in any girl. What will people think of him if he were gay though? He has read so many articles and heard so many stories about people being attacked and hurt simply for being gay. He can’t go through that. It’s bad enough that his best friend teased him and made little jokes about him being gay in the past, he can’t have strangers doing that to him as well. On top of all of that, his parents would freak out. They already rarely ever speak to him and that would only make things worse between them.

This all getting too much so he decides to get up and change. Before proceeding with his plans, the boy waddles toward the window and opens it, letting the fresh cold air in. He stands there, inhaling and exhaling deeply until he is calm enough. He needs to be at school in an hour and he still hasn’t eaten any proper food since yesterday. His heart warms at the thought of last night, at the thought of Eliott and the light in his eyes. Thinking about the other boy’s smile is enough to calm Lucas down, his racing heartbeat starting to beat at a slower, more steady pace.

Lucas drags himself to the closet in order to grab a change of clothes. He doesn’t a large variety of clothing items which makes it easier for him to pick something. He ends up wearing a grey hoodie which has the word “romance” written over it and some black jeans. He doesn’t have time to shower and honestly, he doesn’t want to do it just yet. Eliott’s sweet scent is still all over him from being all cuddled up against the guy. It’s just comforting for him. It gives him peace of mind.

Thankfully Mika had not noticed him being gone all night. It turns out that the phone calls were merely because he wanted to let Lucas know that his father had transferred the rent money. It somewhat bothered Lucas that his father did not even bother to text him back but he’s kind of used to it. He used to be so upset by it, by his parents being the way they are. He used to miss having a family that he can rely on. Mika and Manon quickly took over the role of his parents after he moved in. Although they are nosy at times, he appreciates them and everything they have done for him. Something which he will never utter out loud.

Lucas gets to school just on time and the first thing he does is glance around to see if Eliott is present. Sadly he is nowhere to be seen thus far. That boy seems to be skipping classes left and right. He rarely ever shows up to school. Lucas would understand him skipping a couple of classes today though; Eliott most likely didn’t sleep well, what with Lucas being all curled up in a ball against him on the couch. 

When it’s time for the lunch break, Lucas is sitting alone on the table, elbows propped up on the surface, head hanging low. He is fiddling with the food in his plate using a fork. He is waiting for his friends when a familiar figure takes a seat beside him.

“You left early today. I didn’t get to talk to you.” It was Manon.

“Oh, yeah, well, I didn’t want to be late.” He responds and looks around. He can tell that she has a lot of questions to ask but doesn’t know how to.

“Yeah, makes sense. How are you doing?” She asks

“Good. Yeah. Everything has been good.” He responds. He doesn’t want to come off as rude because Manon is one of the few people who knows about the situation with his family and that is because she figured it out on her own. She is someone he can open up to rather easily, she always seems to notice when he has a lot on his mind “What about you?” he asks politely.

“I’m good too. Thank you for asking!” She smiles and nods, taking a moment before asking “So, listen. Last night I came across your friends at a bar. They were very worried about you, said you weren’t answering their texts and all… Are you sure things good with you... and you know, your parents? You don't have to talk to me about it but... you can.."

He gulps a lump down his throat, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair. “I mean.. no… Not really…” He wants to tell her about Eliott because he knows she will know just the right things to say to make him feel better. His hands feel a little shaky and his heartbeat quickens as he murmurs the following words: “I wasn’t with them last night though.” before the girl has the chance to say anything, his friends interrupt the conversation.

“Lulu!!” Basile basically shouts. “You’re alive!”

“Yeah, man. We were worried.” Arthur chimes in.

“Is everything okay?” Yann asks. He knows Lucas’ full story with his parents so he always assumes that whenever Lucas is grumpy then it has to do with them. Which it did not at this particular instant.

All the courage the boy had moments ago with Manon, is gone. He doesn’t really know how to talk about that topic with the gang. It's not like he doesn't trust them because he does. It's just, sharing personal doubts and issues isn't something he is used to doing with the boys. “Yeah… things with my parents weren’t going so well.. I was with them all night and well..”

Manon seems to catch onto this and decides to leave for now. She pats his shoulder tenderly and says “I’ll see you later at the apartment, okay?” he nods in response and she offers him a kind smile before walking off toward the girls.

“But are things okay now?” Yann asks, concern in his voice.

Lucas feels bad about lying to them. He hates doing it but he just doesn’t know what else to do. For the time being, lying feels like the only option he has. He needs to process and figure everything out before sharing anything. He nods and says “Yeah… kind of but don’t worry about it.”

Yann and the guys nod in understanding. They don’t press him further on the topic and instead, Basile starts talking about his birthday party which is taking place upcoming Saturday. “You guys! Daphne agreed to come!! The girls are going to be with her too of course but she still said yes! I think she’s finally warming up to me!” He is so excited and happy. Lucas sort of understands how Basile is feelings seeing as he is going through a similar phase with a certain, raccoon loving person.

“That’s great! Maybe you will finally get your chance!” Arthur and Yann give him a bewildering stare which he simply shrugs off.

“You see guys? Lulu is a true friend! You two were making fun of me!” Basile almost shrieks before throwing a hand up in the air, waiting for Lucas to high five him.

“Mec.. I am happy for you but no way am I touching your hand! I have no clue where it’s been or what it’s seen!” He states jokingly and his friend, except Basile, laugh.

"I am joking!" He lifts his arm up and before Basile's palm comes in contact with his, he draws his arm back, causing his friend to high five the air. The boys continue to laugh and Basile just complains about them.

The rest of the day goes by rather quickly. Eliott doesn’t show up to school nor does he text Lucas. It’s not like Lucas was expecting anything from Eliott but it would have been nice to at least send a smiley emoji.

The boy delays his arrival to the flat as long as possible. Not wanting to bump into Manon who will want an explanation as to why he was lying to his friends and what he wanted to tell her before they showed up. All the confidence he felt in that one small moment is completely gone. So, he spends the day with his friends until it’s late at night. He gets to the apartment by 22:45. Mika and Lisa are awake. They’re on the couch, watching TV. Manon is sitting in the kitchen but she is on the phone with Charles which gives Lucas the advantage to walk about freely.

He takes a quick shower before getting in bed. There’s no hint of Eliott’s smell on him anymore which he hates. The older boy’s scent was rather soul-stirring. He decides to check on his phone one last time but still nothing from Eliott.

And so, with a heavy sigh. Lucas goes to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long for this chapter to be posted! I was so busy with school and exams!  
> So, I made it super long for you!

Tuesday was quite similar to Monday; with Lucas constantly checking his phone in hopes of a text or anything, and Eliott being a no-show. Truth be told, the small boy was beginning to worry for his friend or whatever Eliott is to him. Skipping school every so often is completely normal but it’s a different situation with Eliott. The boy had just started attending this school and he’s already missed so many classes.

Having forgotten his scarf back at Eliott’s was the perfect excuse for Lucas to drop by his place and not seem desperate. And so, Lulu had gotten on the bus and traveled all the way over to Eliott’s. He remembered the way to the apartment building from last time so there was no need for him to call the other boy. He got to the building and stood outside, buzzing the bell to Eliott’s flat but no answer. Maybe he wasn’t home. When walking away, Lucas had decided to cast one last look back to Eliott’s window and he could swear that he saw a shadow moving. The boy shook his head and blamed it all on his wild imagination. There is no reason for Eliott to avoid him or not open the door for him. They had had a good time together the other day. They got along well and he hadn’t left without leaving a note behind. Eliott has a life, one that doesn’t involve Lucas so he shouldn’t be this surprised that the guy wasn’t home.  

* * *

 

Wednesday came by and Eliott was nowhere to be seen still. It was their final class of the day and Lucas was not expecting him to show up just for that but to his surprise, the older boy popped up suddenly. Without even bothering to glance at anyone else in the classroom, Eliott made a beeline straight to Lucas and took a seat by his side. He looks tired, dark circles around his eyes and the beautiful light in his eyes is still there but immensely dimmed. When he looks at Lucas, his smile is weak, Lucas senses that it is a forced smile but doesn’t comment on it.

“Hey you!” The older boy speaks. Even his voice sounds tired.

“Hey…” Lucas replies, pausing for a moment before adding “I didn’t think you’d show up today.” That wasn’t a too straight forward of a statement right? The last thing Lucas would want is to invade Eliott’s privacy or make him feel uncomfortable.

And there it was again. That forced, weak smile. “Yeah, I have kind of been sick but I didn’t want to miss literature. My favorite class of all time.”

Sick? Well that would make sense. Maybe he’d gotten cold from the other night what with Lucas hogging the blanket and making him sleep in an uncomfortable position. “Was it from that that chelou sandwich?” The younger boy questions, trying to get a real smile out of Eliott.

It seems to work because his smile is the slightest bit brighter and warmer than before. “Yeah.. I should not have listened to you and added all those thing.” He shook his head and Lucas gaped at him ever so dramatically, earning a sweet scoff from the older boy.

“Me?! it was your idea!” He shakes his head, tutting in disappointment and the older boy grins once more, causing the butterflies in Lucas’ stomach to start stirring and fluttering again. He had missed those butterflies the past few days. It’s like they are a part of him now.

The teacher starts talking and interrupts their lovely conversation; They exchange glances and sweet little smiles every so often but remain quiet and try to as much as possible listen to the teacher which was rather impossible with Eliot being that beautiful and this close to Lucas.

Soon the lesson is over, final class of the day and it’s still only 13:00. Lucas is packing his backpack when he notices an already-done-with-packing Eliott standing right in front of him, his backpack slinging over his shoulder, one hand tucked in the pocket of his ripped jeans. “Do you want to hang out?” he blurts out, catching Lucas off guard.

“You mean plan on working on the project then doing nothing of that sort again?” Lucas asks in a joking manner.

The older boy simply shakes his head, his smile oh so tender. “No, I mean, like hang out hang out… you know.. with beer, joints, food… that neither of us cooks!” Lucas can’t help but giggle at that part. “You can also choose the music.”

The smaller boy’s eyes go wide open, jaw dropping down ever so dramatically. He should really consider majoring in drama. “You will let ME pick the music?! Well, damn! I’m definitely in!” Eliott is grinning and all Lucas wants to do with the rest of his life is keep that beautiful smile on the boy’s face.

“Great! I have to go talk to the school nurse for a moment and I’ll be right back” Eliott must have noticed the worried look in Lucas’ eyes because he immediately adds “You know.. I’m still kinda sick so the principle told me to talk to her.” With that Lucas feels a tad relieved. For a moment he’d forgotten that Eliott was sick.

“Yeah. Sure! I can wait for you by the bus stop.” Lucas states.

“I might be a while so.. you can wait at the foyer, at least you won’t be cold there.” Responds Eliott and Lucas simple nods. It’s cute how the older boy wants to make sure that he won’t be getting cold outside. Kind of makes him think of when he fell asleep and Eliott covered him with the blanket. He seems to be such a caring person.

They share a little nod before Eliott walks off, one hand holding onto the strap of his backpack and the other still tucked away in his pocket. He has a model walk, Lucas notices. It’s like he’s on a catwalk all the time. Lucas forces himself to look away after coming to the conclusion that it might be a little creepy, standing here, intensely staring at a guy walking down the corridor.

He heads toward the foyer and there is nobody there, thankfully. Dropping his backpack to the floor, he slumps down onto a bean bag and fishes his phone out of his pocket. He has some texts from his friends. They are talking about Basile’s birthday party this Saturday. Fuck. He had, once again, completely forgotten about his best friend’s birthday. Now he feels like a shitty friend.

_**Hey Basile! That sounds like a lot of fun! Can’t wait til Saturday!** _

Was that convincing enough for his friends to not know he had forgotten? Eh. He lifts his shoulders up in a shrug and shoves his phone in his backpack.

He takes a look around his surroundings and noticed that the girls have brought quite a lot of stuff here already. There’s a small TV hanging on the wall, a foosball table even. It’s starting to look like a cool place to hang out at after school.

The boy’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he fishes it out, taking a quick glance at the notification he just received. It was another one of his mother’s odd messages to he decides to ignore it. He honestly does not understand why she keeps sending him stuff like that? It’s not like he ever responds to her. And well, Like… If someone doesn’t respond to you then you stop texting them.

Being deep in thought made him unaware of Eliott’s presence in the foyer. It wasn’t until he eyes were being covered that he noticed someone else being in the room. These were not familiar hands yet somehow, he recognized them immediately. It was Eliott. As if thinking about the boy doesn’t make things difficult enough, he had to go and cover Lucas’ eyes and be so close to him that the smaller boy could feel his warm breath on the back of his neck, causing shivers to run all over his body.

“Eliott, you are not very good at this.” Lucas says, trying to sound as cool as possible. “I recognize your smell, you know?” _Fuck. Shit. Shit_. Should he have said that? Doesn’t it sound creepy??

“Oh, do you now?” Lucas can hear the grin on Eliott’s face through his voice.

“Uhm… well… yeah… you… you sit next to me.. you know” Stumbling through his words, Lucas finally manages to say a sentence that sort of made sense.

“Hmm.. just from that, eh?” Eliott asks, finally removing his hands away from Lucas’ face.

What is he expecting Lucas to say? _Yes, I remember how you smell because I was so cuddled up against you that I had practically buried my face in your neck and your smell was all that I could think of for days?_ “Yes. Just from that….” He takes a quick glance around their surroundings and then does what he does best. Change the subject in a very not subtle way. “Should we go?”

Eliott is smiling again and he seems somewhat better than he did minutes ago. “Yes. Let’s go!”

The boy reaches his hands out for Lucas and Lucas just looks at him dumbfounded. He doesn’t know what to do. Is Eliott offering to hold his hands or to help him up. He clears his throat and decides to take the older boy’s offer.

When their hands touch, it’s electric. Lucas has never felt anything like it. He could swear that he felt a jolt of lightening the moment their skin came in contact. Eliott’s hands are larger than his, they’re so warm and soft and Lucas never wants to let them go. He can only imagine how good it would feel to have Eliott hold his face or something similar to that.

Eliott is smiling down at him. He’s much taller than Lucas. Their hands are still entwined. “Your hands are cold.. I’m trying to warm them up.” He states very unconvincingly as he tightens his grip on the smaller boy’s hands.

And once again, they are just staring at each other. Eyes locked. Not wanting to look away for a split second. It’s like their eyes have their own secret little language. One that Lucas and Eliott themselves are not fluent in yet.

“Uhm… I.. think that.. the thingy…” Lucas can’t seem to remember what the vehicle thingy he takes every day to school is called anymore. His brain is back to being mush. It takes him longer than humanly possible to finally recall what a bus is. “The bus.. it’s gonna be here soon..”

The older boy seems to find everything about Lucas oh so amusing. He is always smiling and grinning and looking all happy. “That’s what the thingy meant? You forgot what a bus is?” He teases.

“Yeah, well.. I didn’t sleep well.” They are still holding hands. Lucas doesn’t want to let go of Eliott so he is just going to wait until the other boy does it.

The moment Eliott draws his arms back, Lucas’ hands feel empty and they want to be all wrapped up in Eliott’s hands. “Let’s go then before you fall asleep on me!”

* * *

 

The two boys are back on their little nest on the couch. They aren’t sitting too close to each other but every single time one of them moves their arms would brush. There are beer bottles on the table along with a half-eaten pizza. It had taken them a while to get to Eliott’s apartment as it was crowded on the road but it wasn’t a problem to either of them, they had spent the trip talking about whether you should pour milk first then cereal or the other way around. It was a much more fascinating discussion than it sounds. They’d had a good laugh about it.

The TV across from them is on but muted and surprisingly, it was Eliott who had put Queen songs on. The smaller boy couldn’t help but wonder if Eliott had started listening to Queen just because of him. It’s probably not true. Everyone knows Queen. Eliott wouldn’t just start listening to a specific band just for him, right? Cause that would indicate that the older boy maybe, sort of, kind of does like him? It sound crazy to his ears. Eliott probably doesn’t even like guys. But then again, he doesn’t know much about the guy other than the fact that he loves raccoons, is artistic and loves dubstep.

“So, did you go out with the girl Daphne was introducing you to?” Eliott asks out of the blue causing Lucas’ head to whip up so fast that it actually hurts his neck.

“What? Who?” Lucas is as confused as ever. When did Daphne try to fix him up with someone? He truly cannot recall.

“That brunette with bangs.. at the foyer” Eliott explains and looks at Lucas with a small smile on his lips.

“OH! Chloe? Yeah no… I don’t think she was setting us up.” Was she though? He had assumed that Daphne just wanted Chloe to have more friends because she was still a first year and probably didn’t know a lot of people.

“Lucas…” Eliott starts but ends up giggling like a little kid. “You are so oblivious to the world around you… it’s endearing.”

Lucas is blinking like crazy. Was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult? “Thanks?”

Eliott simply shakes his head and nudges his arm to Lucas’. “You’re very welcome.” He says then adds “But to state the obvious; yes, Daphne was trying to set you up… It seemed like Chloe liked you.”

The small boy inhales deeply. Still shocked about not having realized that he was being set up at that time. “Yeah… I didn’t talk to her for that long..”

“So, are you gonna ask her out?” Eliott asks bluntly and Lucas can’t help but wonder where this conversation is going or when it came from? They hadn’t been discussing anyone’s love life beforehand.

“What? No!” He is quick to respond “I mean… she isn’t really my type.”

That seems to catch the other boy’s attention because he immediately shifts his weight on the couch until he is facing Lucas, having one of his legs tucked under his body. “Oh, yeah? What is your type then?”

_You. You. You. You. You._

Lucas tries to shrug nonchalantly, wanting to appear cool as a cucumber. “I don’t know… I mean… How can you figure out what your type?” You can’t like people for specific things right?

“Well.. I agree to some extent but there are still things that.. you are attracted to in a person.” Eliott responds.

Lucas has to think about this but instead of coming up with an answer, he decides to be bold and ask “What is your type then?” he then proceeds by taking it a step further and adding “Are there specific things about girls that you like” he somehow manages to subtly emphasis on the word ‘girls’

The beautiful, raccoon loving boy looks at him with so much softness that it melts Lucas’ insides. “I don’t have a specific type of people..” His voice ever so smooth as he speaks. “I fall for the little things a person does…” his eyes are holding Lucas’ like a hostage, not wavering away. They are both silent for a moment then Eliott carries on: “I fall for the way someone smiles… the way even sitting in silent with them doesn’t feel boring… the way I can look at their eyes and understand what they are thinking of… their vibrant energy and personality… the way someone is unaware of just how beautiful they are… how good it feels to be around them..  you know..” Lucas is speechless and doesn’t know what to say but he isn’t even given the time to process all the beautiful things Eliott was saying because the older boy continues: “things like… how goofy someone is when they are asleep… how they purr in their sleep when you try to pull the blanket a little because they are hogging it..” There is a small but breathtaking smile playing about Eliott’s lips and all Lucas wants is to lean in and kiss it. “And for the record… it doesn’t have to be a girl.”

That’s it.

That is completely it.

Lucas has lost the ability to speak, breath and function normally. He is just a ball of messy blushing and staring and not knowing how to behave. It feels like all the things Eliott was saying were about him, especially that last bit. Did he really notice all those little things about Lucas in just mere days? If he did then how come he forgot about meeting him over a year ago? That doesn’t even matter at the moment. Lucas just wants to gather enough confidence to react properly. But he just can’t bring his body to do anything. It’s like he has turned into a statue. The only time his body gives any sort of reaction is one Eliott playfully taps the tip of nose and he flinches.

“Has my cheesiness rendered you speechless? I get that a lot.” Eliott is the one to break the silence yet again.

Lucas is able to shake his head now but just the slightest bit. “No..” His voice is small and hoarse, like he has been in the desert without any water for days. “No.. not at all..” He is finally starting to recuperate. “I.. I think that.. it’s sweet.. noticing all those little details about someone.. not caring about looks or anything.. it’s amazing..”

Eliott is now smiling and it is reaching his eyes, just like Lucas loves. The light is back in him and he is blinding Lucas completely with his sunshine personality. In all honesty, Eliott is the one with vibrant personality and not him like Eliott had mentioned moments ago. Lucas is unable to continue with this topic simply because he is not brave enough to do what he wants to do. Which is to taste Eliott’s tender smile with his lips.

“Do.. do you play the piano?” He asks oh so randomly but Eliott isn’t caught off gurard. He has probably acclimated to the fact that the young boy loves to change the subject with random questions or statements.

“I do.. well, not perfectly.. I know how to play the star wars theme but if I do that then it would impress you so much that you will never be able to listen another piece of music ever again.” He jokes, clearly trying to get Lucas to breath once more.

The small boy scoffs while shaking his head. “Yeah, okay, sure!” He glances toward the piano across from him then back to Eliott before asking in a small voice “Can I try?”

Eliott nods and gives him the green light to go on and play. So, he gets up and almost stumbles because his legs still feel like jelly from the previous comment of Eliott. Who speaks like that anyway? It’s so cheesy and beautiful and sweet. He takes a seat on the small bench in front of the piano, his fingers nervously brushing over the keys.

“I have a triangle as well.. if you want” Eliott jokes from the couch and Lucas looks back at him with a grin plastered upon his face.

“I think that I’ll be fine.” He states before turning his focus back on the piano. His hands are a bit shaky but that doesn’t matter right now. He inhales deeply, closes his eyes and lets his fingers do their job, playing the keys. The boy hadn’t played in years. He remembers the last time he played. It was at a recital and his parents had one of their worst fights so they hadn’t shown up. The boy was so nervous that he ended up puking and him feeling sick lead him to mess up playing. It’s been a while since he’s felt so comfortable doing it. None of his friends know that he plays the piano. Eliott is the first and only person to see this side of him. He hasn’t known the boy for that long but there is an undeniable connection between them. Lucas has always struggled with putting his thoughts into words so he is using this piece to share all his fears and concerns and feelings with Eliott.

It wasn’t until he finished that he realized that the piece he played is called ‘I love you’.

He opens his eyes finally and anxiously glances back over his shoulder. Eliott is sitting there stunned. For the first time he is the speechless one. His eyes are clouded by so many emotions, it is impossible to recognize all of them. His expressions are soft and Lucas could’ve sworn that his eyes are glossy. He doesn’t say anything for a while but his smile is enough for Lucas to understand how he is feeling.

“It’s not the star wars theme but.. still” Lucas decides to be the one to break the silence now.

“You’re surprising…” Eliott notes, his voice is full of awe. “I like people who are surprising…” His smile is so warm that Lucas feels it in his bones. He gets up from his place on the couch and takes a seat beside Lucas on the bench, their arms touching, sending shivers down Lucas’ spine. “Can you teach me how to play that piece?” Eliott asks in a sincere, soft tone.

Lucas nods. “Sure…” He places his fingers back on the keys which Eliott copies. “So.. I mean you already know how to play but you start like this..” Lucas tries to demonstrate how to play the piece to Eliott who has his hands on the keyboard as well.

When their hands touch, the boys look at each other in unison. Eliott has such ocean blue eyes, Lucas wouldn’t mind drowning in them. It’s like God was so relaxed the day he created Eliott. Every single little detail of him is beautiful. So beyond beautiful. His hair looks so soft and messy. His lips have the most perfect shape. But it isn’t just his physical appearance that is beautiful. The energy that radiates off him is extraordinary. It’s like, the moment he enters a room, you are wrapped by his warm and bright personality.

As if the universe is trying to make this moment as perfect as possible, the song playing in the background is You Take My Breath Away by Queen. It isn’t the first time Lucas hears the song but it feels like it is. He is experiencing every single word in the song. He is understanding every single phrase. He’s never felt like this before. All of his emotions feel heightened, he can feel them all over his body. From the top of his head to his feet.

The younger boy’s breath is caught in the back of his throat when Eliott carefully leans in. He is trying to see if there is any hesitation or uncomfortableness in Lucas’ gaze but there is nothing but a longing, a need in the boy’s eyes. Eliott’s face is mere inches away from his. They’re so close that their warm breaths are mixing together. Lucas closes his eyes, ready to feel the softness of Eliott lips on his. He isn’t afraid right now. This feels right. Nothing has ever felt this right. Their lips brush against each other and Lucas feels like his entire body is on fire. The boy has completely lost sensation in his body. It’s like this is the moment he had been waiting for his entire life.

The doorbell rings.

_Great._

_Fucking great._

The boys pull away from each other and Lucas could see the annoyance in Eliott’s eyes. Whoever is ringing the doorbell just ruined what could have been the most wonderful moment in Lucas’ life ever. It is clear that the older boy doesn’t want to get up and go open the door but it could be something important so Lucas offers him a small smile with a little nod as if telling Eliott that it’s okay. The older boy seems to understand this and gets up to go open the door.

Lucas is left alone with his thoughts which were so overwhelming. Was he seriously just about to kiss Eliott? What if this is a mistake? He doesn’t know Eliott that well. But then again, he has never felt this good around anyone before. With Eliott he can just let loose, he can be himself. With Eliott it feels like there is not a worry in the world, that they are in their own personal little bubble.

Lucas can here voices coming from the entrance which are followed by the sound of someone stepping to the living room. It’s a girl he has never seen before. She has short brown hair and looks a tad irritated. The boy has no idea who she is or what she is doing here. She seems about the same age as Eliott so she can’t be his sister right?

“Oh, hi.” She says. “I didn’t know Eliott had company. I’m Lucille. His girlfriend.”

_His what now?_

_Did she just say_ girlfriend _?_

Lucas is so taken aback that he finds himself hopping up from the bench as if he just saw a ghost. Just then Eliott enters. He is standing behind Lucille, looking between her and Lucas. “Hi.. I’m Lucas.. his classmate..” Eliott is looking confused as hell. What, does he now know he has a girlfriend? “We were just working on a project but we’re done for today… so, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Lucas.. you.. you don’t have to go..” Eliott interjects but Lucas doesn’t respond, he doesn’t even look at him. He is too busy looking for his phone and once he finds it. He rushes out of the flat as fast as humanly possible, ignoring Eliott who was calling for him.

Lucas is unsure of how he is able to walk because legs feel wobbly. His body feels warm and cold at the same time. Aside from that, his lungs are making it difficult for him to breath so he stops by a tree and leans with his hand on it. Was everything that Eliott told him just a lie? The guys has a girlfriend and there he was, almost kissing Lucas. Who does that?

This was a mistake.

The whole thing was a mistake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FORGIVE ME!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of like a filler(ish) kind of chapter!  
> Thank you for the kudos and comments, lovelies. You guys make my day! :)

What an idiot.

How could he have been foolish enough to think that Eliott likes him?

Lucas is laying in bed, feeling like a complete buffoon. It’s 5:30 in the morning and he has to get up soon so going back to sleep is of no use. The events of last nights are playing on repeat in his mind. He can’t stop thinking about how close he’d gotten to Eliott, how their lips had touched the slightest bit, how perfect that moment could have been before life decided to slap him on the face. The sweet smell of Eliott is still stuck to his nose and nothing seems to get rid of it. How could Eliott just lead him on like that? Was it just a joke or something? Because it’s not funny. Now he has to go out of his way to prove to people that he’s not gay. Part of that includes him spending time with Chloe which he is dreading. It’s not like she is a bad person but he simply does not have the energy for her. Nothing about her attracts him and it’s horrible. He just needs to find a way to like something, anything about her and focus on that. It can't be that difficult, she is pretty and seems nice.

It’s almost time to get out of bed and he still hasn’t checked his messages which is something that he should probably do right now. So, the boy reaches under his pillow where his phone is settled and drags it out of there. The moment he slides the notification bar down to check what he’s missed, a specific name catches his eyes immediately. Eliott. He had sent him a text last night apparently. Lucas was too shook to do anything then. His heartbeat quickens as his shaky thumb hovers over Eliott’s name. Part of him wants to ignore Eliott and block him but the other part wants to open the text. It’s a struggle. The second part seems to prevail because he taps on Eliott’s name and the text pops up on his screen.

Is he freaking serious? How the hell can he be so confused as to why Lucas was and still is bothered by last night? The guy has a girlfriend and he almost kissed him. Is that a silly reason to be upset by? Honestly, Eliott’s being a douche so Lucas decides to ignore and leave him on read. It felt good to do that if he’s being honest. He proceeds with checking the rest of his texts. He should probably start hanging out with his friends more often instead of lying to them to be with Eliott.

Okay, now he needs to get out of bed which is something he really doesn’t want to do. Going to school means seeing Eliott and that is the last thing he needs right now. He already feels embarrassed as it is, seeing Eliott would make things worse for him. Although, the guy seems to skip school a lot so maybe today is one of those days. One can hope, right? The small boy rolls out of his bed and lands on his feet. He is dragging his legs behind him, making his way toward the bathroom.

When he is all dressed, finished with breakfast and ready for school, he bumps into Manon on her way out. She stops to look at him and offers him a kind smile.

“Hey, you. I haven’t seen much of you since the other day.” She says.

“Hi. Yeah, sorry. I was busy.” He responds.

“Okay, good. We still need to finish our conversation though.” Manon says.

He knows that they need to do that but at the moment, he doesn’t want to. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I already talked with Yann and everything is good now.”

“Really? Well, that’s great, Lucas.” She says. “You can still to me whenever, you know that right?”

He nods with his head slowly, a small smile on his lips. “I know that. Thank you.”

With that, they both head to school together. She spends most of the time talking about Charles because things weren’t going so well between them.

* * *

 Lucas could swear that today was the slowest day in the history of slow days. It’s like time was refusing to pass. It literally felt like each lesson lasted an eternity. On the plus side, Eliott wasn’t in today, at least not yet which meant Lucas didn’t have to deal with that. The boy loves to ignore things in hopes that they will just go away which rarely ever works; it’s just his strategy in life.

His relief was short lived though because by the time the final lesson ended, Eliott was there. Lucas was walking down the corridor, on his way to his locker when he bumped into Eliott. He'd almost fallen on his ass but Eliott manages to catch him on time. There it was, the beautiful and alluring smell that Lucas can get drunk on. When Lucas looks up, he notices that Eliott has dark circles surrounding his eyes yet again and he doesn’t look like he is all that doing well.

“Lucas.. hi..” Eliott says.

“Hi..” Lucas responds after clearing his throat.

“I texted you last night.. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?” Eliott says

“Yeah, sorry. I forgot to reply. I gotta go meet up with my friends now.” Lucas tries to sound as cold as possible.

“I won’t take much of your time.. I just need to talk to you about last night.” Eliott sounds so tired. Lucas can’t help but wonder if he’s still sick or something. He hates this. Hates having to act like this. All he wants to do is go back to Eliott's couch where they can fall asleep all cuddled up while watching TV or listening to Eliott's odd choice of music.

“I’m sorry. I really have to go. We are preparing for Basile’s birthday on Saturday.” He says and rushes to his locker, shoving his books in it. Eliott is following him but Lucas doesn't really give him the chance to speak, he just looks back at him and says. “Have a nice day.” He nods toward the older boy then hurries out of the school. He doesn’t dare to look back at Eliott because this feels shitty. If it were up to his heart, he would have hugged Eliott and then slapped him the proceeded with hugging him. He didn’t want to brush Eliott off but at the same time, he kind of deserves it. He lead Lucas on and it’s cruel of him.

The small boy catches up with his friends who were waiting for him by the bus stop. He’d met up with them earlier today and explained why he'd been abscent, saying that things with his family were kind of odd and that was why he was disappearing often. It was a bad lie but none of his friends pressed him further on the topic.

“Hey, Lulu!” Arthur says.

“Okay, good. You’re here.” Basile chimes in. “So, get this. I am walking down the street, minding my own business and suddenly, I see Daphne. She looks so beautiful that I decide to go say hi but as I approach her, I notice this other guy, he puts an arm around here and they walk off. They didn’t kiss or anything so it doesn’t mean that they are dating right?”

Lucas looks at him dumbfounded, blinking. How the hell should he know? He is pretty foolish when it comes to those kind of things so he decides to respond with a shrug of his shoulders. “I don’t know, Basile. Don’t you think if she wanted to be with you then she would have?”

Yann and Arthur give him an odd look and so he continues. “I mean… you haven’t even asked her out yet so even if she were on a date, you can’t be bothered by it seeing as you haven’t made any move to let her know that you like her.” _Nice save_. He didn’t want to hurt his friend’s feelings but his comment is probably only going to make things worse. If Basile asks Daphne then she’s saying no and he’s gonna be hurt anyway.

“Yeah. You’re right! I’m gonna make a move at my birthday party!” Basile says exactly what Lucas was afraid he would but all he can do is be supportive.

“Alright! Yes! Go for it!” Lucas says and earns yet another look from Arthur and Yann.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit early to make a move?” Arthur interjects.

Then Yann adds. “Yes. I mean why don’t you try to be her friend first. See if she likes you then make a move?”

Basile seems to have made up his mind. Lucas kind of feels guilty because the last thing he would want is for his friend to be hurt but sometimes that’s just the way it is. It’s better to know where someone stands early on. If Lucille hadn’t shown up last night, he would have kissed Eliott and so, he would have found out about her much later on which would have made things worse for him. It’s better for Basile to know if he has a chance now, otherwise he will waste a long time on her for nothing.

* * *

Lucas spends the rest of the day with his friends at Arthur’s. They play video games, talk about girls and school and all kinds of things. Somehow their conversation had led them to Chloe and his friends encouraged him to ask her out; Lucas doesn’t do well under pressure so he just caved in and sent her a text asking if she wants to come to Basile’s birthday party. It was such a stupid decision but it was too late to cancel or abort the plan. He would just have to suck it up and spend the night with her. Who knows, maybe if he spends enough time with her then he will learn more about her and in return, he’ll end up liking her more than he does now.

Lulu comes close to texting Eliott plenty of times that night. He can't help himself. Eliott has already latched himself onto Lucas and being away from him feels horrible. How are they supposed to finish that literature project together? Lucas won't be able to fight Eliott's charms for long. It's like, all that Eliott has to do is smile and Lucas' insides turn into liquid. He's such a charasmatic person, why did he have to be a jerk? Lucas can no longer deny the fact that he does have some sort of feelings for Eliott. It's as clear as a sunny day. He cannot act upon those feelings or at least he feels like he cannot act upon them. Maybe if Eliott were single then he would have had enough courage to come out to the world and be with him but he's not.

Lucille seems like an okay person but Lucas just isn't a big fan of hers. She has the only boy he's ever wanted this bad and it just sucks.

 


	8. Chapter 8

It’s early on a Saturday morning and Lucas’ bedroom is being invaded by Mika who plops beside him on the bed, waking the small grumpy boy up from his deep sleep. He’d planned on spending all morning in bed but it’s no longer possible thanks to his flatmate.

“Rise and shine, kitten!” Mika screeches.

Lucas simply grumbles in annoyance and buries himself underneath his blanket, hoping that Mika would just go away and let him get back to sleep.

“I’m not going anywhere if that is what you are waiting for. Get outta there!” Mika says while trying to pull the blanket off the small boy’s head. Lucas is resisting hard but ends up failing when Mika starts tickling him. He tries his very hardest to hold back little giggles from escaping his throat. “Now, we need to talk.” Continues Mika.

With a loud exhale, Lucas forces himself to sit up on the bed, running a hand through his mess of a hair to somewhat flatten it. “What do you want to talk about this early in the morning?” says Lucas grumpily. He knows what Mika wants to talk about. His parents.

“So, listen. I’m just gonna get straight into it.” He says and continues “A little birdy told me that things with your parents haven’t been going so well. Now, I know I promised not to ask you about this but.. I’m getting worried, kitten.”

A long while ago, things between Lucas’ parents were so bad that he ran away from home. Mika was the one who found him and let him crash in the basement. He’d promised Lucas not to ask any personal questions as long as Lucas doesn’t feel comfortable sharing. Manon had later found out and she got him out of the basement and onto their couch. Weeks later, she and Mika had surprised Lucas with finding a new apartment, one which has four rooms so he wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch anymore. It touched him deeply.

“You don’t have to be worried… things are as they always have been, really.” Lucas states, trying to give Mika some sort of relief.

“Lucas… I didn’t want to tell you this but last month’s rent isn’t the only one you were missing… I mean.. you have told me plenty of times that your dad is going to transfer the money which he really doesn’t do.. just.. let me and Manon help you with that.” Mika says in a soft, caring tone.

“No, okay? I’ll handle my dad.” Lucas is stubborn and there is no way in hell he will let anyone pay for him. “I don’t need charity.”

“Kitten, it’s not charity. We’re your family too… we have been for a long time. and family helps one another, right?” Mika shifts around on the bed until he sitting across from Lucas.

He can’t help but smile slightly. They truly are like his family, sometimes even closer but he still cannot let them do that for him. “Listen.. thank you for wanting to help me out.. I appreciate it but I still need to talk to my father and try to sort this thing out with him first.. he’s supposed to be responsible for me..”

With that Mika nods and pokes the tip of Lucas’ nose which makes him think of the time Eliott did that. Ugh, Eliott. Why does he have to keep popping up in his head? It’s driving him crazy. Should he text the guy? He’s worried because Eliott didn’t show up to school Friday either. It’s not really his place to worry but he still does.

“What do you think of this guy?” Mika is shoving his phone in Lucas’ face, taking him out of his thoughts. On the screen, there is this half-naked guy and Lucas just pushes the phone out of his sight.

“Mika! I don’t feel like seeing the guys you want to bang!” Lucas shrieks.

“Relax! I am not sure if I want to bang him.. I was asking for your opinion on the matter” Mika speaks with his eyes glued to the screen.

“I have no opinion on the matter. I don’t find guys attractive.” _HA! Sure you don’t_ , his brain is laughing at him.

Mika gives him a suspicious look then says. “Right. Okay, sure. I’ll go find Manon then! You’re of no use to me!” Mika gets up from the bed and smacks Lucas on the head with a pillow before leaving the room.

Not being able to help himself, Lucas goes to see when Eliott was seen last on WhatsApp and it happens to be at 3:10 in the morning. Does the guy never sleep or something? Lucas types a hello then deletes it, types another hello then deletes it. This goes on for another 5 minutes before he finally decides that he is not going to text Eliott. So, he gets out of bed and goes to take a shower.

He spends the rest of the morning and most of the noon on the couch, eating, watching TV then when it’s almost evening, he goes to get dressed. Basile’s birthday party is starting soon and he would kill Lucas if he were late. He’d already ignored them enough the past couple of days.

* * *

There is this feeling of emptiness that is lingering in Lucas’ stomach. He’d assumed it was hunger so he’d eaten a lot but nothing. It was still there, clawing at him. It feels like something is missing or like his mind is aware of something that is going to happen before he does. He doesn’t know what to make out of this feeling. It’s odd and new. The only he’d ever felt this way was over a year ago, at Imane’s birthday party. Coincidentally, the day he’d met Eliott for the first time. It can’t have anything to do with Eliott, right?

He just shrugs off the feeling and decides to try and have a good time at the party. His enjoyment is short-lived though because Chloe shows up and he remembers having invited her to be his date kind of. He feels like an idiot because all he wants is to be as far away from her as possible. She trying too hard to get all touchy with him and he feels uncomfortable by it. The boy keeps finding excuses to go disappear somewhere on his own and avoid her. What was supposed to be a fun party for him turns out to be a game of hide and seek.

He’s hiding in the kitchen, a red cup of beer in his hand when his phone starts buzzing violently. He fishes it out of his pocket and Eliott’s name is blaring out on the screen. He taps on the notification he’d just received.

What the hell? Is Eliott here? He places the cup on the edge of the table clumsily and it ends up falling and spilling the drink onto the floor which Lucas couldn’t care less about at the moment. His hands feel shaky and he is fiddling with his phone nervously whilst pushing his way through the crowd toward the main entrance of the house. He swings the door open and Eliott is standing there. The moonlight making him appear more angelic than usual, his eyes look so bright and full of hope. God. He is so beautiful.

“What are you doing here?” Lucas asks bluntly.

“Well, it’s nice to see you too.” Eliott seems to have gotten his mojo or whatever it was back. He doesn’t look that distant and tired right now.

Lucas doesn’t respond, he stops a few feet away from Eliott, eyes narrowed, waiting for answers.

“I came to see you, Lucas. Obviously.” Eliott finally gives Lucas the answer he wanted.

“Why??” Lucas asks.

“Why do you think, idiot?” Eliott takes a small step closer to Lucas. “I wanted to talk to you about the other night.”

Lucas is kind of intoxicated and not in the mood to play Eliott’s little games anymore. “You mean when your girlfriend showed up? It’s cool. I don’t really care. It’s none of my business.”

Eliott inhales deeply. “Lucas.. She’s-..”

He is interrupted by Lucas who adds. “Look, I don’t know you. You don’t know me. You don’t owe me any explanations. I just think it’s odd how you seemed to have left her out of the couple conversations we had.”

“Lucas.. You don’t know the whole story.. you are not even letting me tell you my side of it.” Eliott notes in frustration.

“Alright…. Go ahead.” The small grumpy boy folds his arms over his chest, giving Eliott a sharp look. He can’t help but wonder when did he become so salty?

“Okay.. so, Lucille and I, we dated.. she was my girlfriend but that was a long, long time ago. We broke up but decided to remain friends. She’s always been there for me, she knows me better than anyone and sometimes, you need people like that in your life, you know? Ones that you can count on to be there no questions asked. She’s always been that to me. We broke up because things between us weren’t working, not as a couple, we just didn’t seem to click..” He takes a small pause to catch his breath before continuing “I haven’t really been in a relationship for a long time now because I didn’t feel ready to be in one. There’s a lot that you don’t know Lucas and I promise to explain everything better someday in the future...” Lucas is just looking at him, not saying a word so Eliott decides to carry on. “I didn’t really feel ready to be with anyone… not until I… I met you. You just.. you warm up and brighten my life in the very best way possible and I’m sorry if I’m freaking you out by this or if I’m talking too fast and not making any sense, I just need to get everything out of my chest otherwise I might explode. I like you, Lucas. I like you quite a lot actually."

Lucas is no longer available. He’s just a statue there. Not breathing. Not speaking, Not blinking. Not doing anything. Did Eliott just tell him that he likes him? Is this some kind of dream? Is he still breathing? What is breathing anyway?

“Say something… please..” Eliott pleads before taking another tiny step closer to a frozen Lucas.

“I..” Lucas begins but then stops. He still needs to process everything that was just said to him. His hands are so shaky that he ends up dropping his phone to the ground without even realizing it.

Just when Lucas had gathered enough courage to speak, Yann pops up behind him.

“Lulu! Come we’re about to get the cake! It’s gonna be so funn…” He stops when he notices a slightly pissed off Eliott standing across from Lucas. “Oh.. hey. Sorry. I  didn’t know you were here.” Yann looks between them, realizing that he had interrupted something so he tries to salvage the situation. “Eliott. It’s nice to see you again. Wanna come in? We have a lot of booze and cake!”

Eliott is not tearing his gaze away from Lucas. He is waiting for a sign, anything that indicates that Lucas wants him to stay. But Lucas is far too shocked to function properly. He doesn’t know what to do or what to say. Should he tell Eliott to fuck off or that he feels the same way?

The older boy breaks their eye contact only to look over to Yann when he realizes that Lucas will not be saying anything. He offers Yann a kind smile. “No.. it’s okay. I have plans already. I was in the area and wanted to say hi.” He looks so hurt by the fact that Lucas is not doing or saying anything but to be fair, how would he have reacted if he were in Lucas’ shoes? “I’ll see you guys at school..” He steps back then disappears into the night.

Lucas stands there, watching Eliott walking away from him and all he wants to do is stop Eliott. Should he go for it? This feels like a once in a lifetime kind of thing and he doesn’t want to lose it or let go of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO BE CONTINUED!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uff, I struggled a lot with this chapter! I truly hope it's not bad!  
> But if it is, then I'm sorryyyy! I promise to try and make every chapter better than the one before!

Lucas is still in shock, he’s been dragged back inside the house by Yann. It’s been two hours since Eliott left and Lucas is still not able to process anything. His brain is completely fried. It feels like he’s in a daze. Like nothing around him is real.

Except it is.

_He likes him._

_Freaking Eliott Demaury likes him._

It is not an easy thing to process. Especially after having spent years hiding; It’s easy to lose who you are when you wear a mask for so long.

Lucas never wanted to open heart to anyone before, not as much he wants to now. Eliott has broken all the walls he wears around his heart down.

What is the point of wasting your entire life out of fear of what others might think? The people who truly care for him won’t just leave because he fell for someone with the same gender right? That would just be utterly absurd. When you love someone, you love everything about them, you don’t get to pick and choose what you like. Of course, there will be people who will judge him, he might lose some people but so what? There is no reward in life without taking risks.

_Fuck this._

_He needs to go to Eliott._

_Right. Now._

Lucas reaches for his pockets in search for his phone but it is not there. _Where the hell could it be?_   His hands are shaking and he is nervous as fuck but he is also determined. No one can come in his way now. He is going to pour his heart out to Eliott.

But first, he needs to find that damned phone. He starts looking around his surroundings, trying to recall when the last time he saw his phone was. And it hits him; he dropped it on the floor when Eliott was talking to him.

Lucas starts pushing his way through the crowds again but is stopped by a hand grabbing his arm. He turns around and it’s the last person he wants to see. Chloe.

“Hey you! Where are you sneaking off to again?” She sounds a bit drunk.

“Uhm. Yeah. I lost my phone so I’m going to go look for it.” He responds. This looking for phone thing is the perfect excuse to leave without anyone asking him where he's off to.

“Oh, okay! I’ll help you out.” Says Chloe.

Lucas sighs deeply and gently releases his arm from her grip. “Listen, Chloe. You’re beautiful. You’re sweet. And I am sure you will make some guy very happy but… I’m sorry but.. I just… I don’t think that you and I will work… I’m really sorry..” His tone is sincere because he is. He feels bad for inviting her just because he was upset with Eliott. It was not the right thing to do.

Chloe seems hurt but not really surprised. It was obvious that Lucas didn't like her. He spent the entire night avoiding her. The first time they'd met, he'd come up with an excuse and bolted out. At some point, you start picking up the signs that someone is not that into you and Chloe probably figured it out before Lucas even spoke to her. “Yeah… whatever… I’m gonna go.”

Lucas doesn’t really try to stop her. Instead, he rushes out of the house. He spots his phone laying on the ground and reaches to pluck it off without ever stopping. He is on a mission and will not be stopped.

He doesn’t really know where Eliott might be right now. He could have gone back to his place. He could be out somewhere else. Going to his apartment would be the wisest choice which is the one Lucas opts for. If Eliott is not there, he will just wait outside until the boy arrives. He is not going to let any obstacle get in his way. He is not backing down. He has been hiding for way too long and it ends tonight.

Lucas is constantly checking his phone while sitting on the bus. It is taking so damn long to get there. He should probably start learning how to drive because it would make life much easier. He'd have been at Eliott's right now. The streets are so crowded and Eliott's apartment feels like it's light years away. If only he could have the power to super speed over to the boy's place.

* * *

When the bus finally brought him to his destination after what felt like an eternity, Lucas sprinted out of the vehicle and almost tripped over his own legs.

He is mere minutes away from Eliott now. The closer he got to the boy’s apartment building, the more difficult it got to breathe. He can hear his own heart thumping in his ears. It sounds like a drum. It’s drowning out all of the other voices surrounding him. His eyes see nothing but the path that is leading him to Eliott.

Just a few more steps..

3…

2…

1…

He stands outside and looks up at the building. The light from Eliott’s flat is on which means he’s there. He must be.

This is crazy. What if Eliott has people over? What if he regrets saying anything to Lucas? The fearful part of the boy is screaming at him to leave the way he came from but the brave and more powerful part of him is pushing him toward the main entrance. His feet are walking on their will. He is no longer in control of his body.

He lifts a trembling hand up to buzz Eliott but the guy doesn’t respond so Lucas decides to buzz everyone until one person decides to let him in. He is thankful for that person's carelessness as he rushes inside the building. He’s basically running up the stairs which is not a very smart thing to do while being somewhat drunk because he is stumbling every other step.  Thankfully, he manages not to fall or break anything.

By the time he reaches Eliott’s apartment, he is sweaty, his hair a mess, his clothes a mess. He probably also looks like a tomato from having to move so fast. His heart is beating a million times a minute. It’s his last chance to step back and leave. Eliott would never know how he feels and he would just get back to living his life normally. He’d built quite a little routine for himself, one that he is comfortable in. If he knocks on this door, it will all be gone. His life will be changed for good. There will be no going back after this. Is it worth it? He takes a moment or two to contemplate what the best thing for him would be.

All it takes is for him to remember Eliott smiling at him to know that it’s all going to be worth it. Just the thought of getting to hold Eliott, to be with him, to kiss him, it is filling Lucas’ heart with all the courage in the world. So with a shaky hand, he knocks on the door ever so lightly. For a moment he thinks that Eliott might not have heard him but then he hears the sound of footsteps getting louder and louder as they approach the door. He closes his eyes and takes a deep, calming breath.

 _You can do this,_ he keeps telling himself over and over in hopes that he will trick his mind into believing it.

The door swings open and Eliott stands there, a cigarette propped between his beautiful pink lips, his hair a wonderful mess. He’s wearing nothing but a grey tee and black sweatpants. It's rather annoying how he can pull off anything he wears. Eliott looks taken aback though, like he doesn’t know what is going on.

“You can’t do that.” Lucas breaks the silence, earning a bewildered look from Eliott so he continuous. “You can’t go around telling people you like them out of the blue then just leave without giving them the opportunity to process everything, alright?” He is so out of breath but doesn’t care. “It’s a dick move.”

Eliott removes the cigarette from his lips but doesn’t say a word. He stares at the ground for a moment before meeting the smaller boy’s gaze. He looks sad which breaks Lucas' heart. All he wants is to go in and hug Eliott but he has to remain in control of his actions at this moment.

“I’m sorry.” Eliott finally speaks. “I… I didn’t mean to.. confuse you or upset you…” He sounds so guilt-ridden. “I don’t know what came over me.. I just.. I couldn’t hide it anymore.. and I’m really sorry…”

Lucas lets out a frustrated sigh. _What the hell is Eliott talking about?_ “I don’t want you to be sorry for having feelings for me, you idiot!” Declares Lucas, slightly loud. “The only thing that upset me is the way you just walked away and didn’t give me a chance to speak.”

Eliott has the most endearing puppy eyes, he’s at a loss of words for the very first time and it is so bizarre. He is usually so confident and talkative.

“I’m sorry…” He says again. For some reason, he is taking things much harder than Lucas had anticipated.

The adrenaline rush seems to be fading away from Lucas’ system and only now is he starting to realize how tired he is. He walked so fast, basically ran up the stairs. On top of that, his heart is beating so fast and his stomach is churning and making things even worse.

Eliott seems to notice this so he steps to the side, making room for Lucas to enter. “Come in…” He says and Lucas accepts the offer, taking tiny steps until he is inside the apartment.

It’s his third time being here yet it already feels so homey and cozy. It warms his heart. This place is all Eliott. It smells like Eliott. It contains Eliott’s belongings and drawings and everything that makes him so beautiful.

Lucas follows Eliott to the living room and takes a seat on the couch, his hands are shaking. By the time he looks up, Eliott is gone.

_What the fuck?_

_How does he keep disappearing like that?_

Eliott comes back moments later with a glass of water which he places in front of Lucas on the small coffee table. The boy then takes a seat on the piano bench. It’s right across from Lucas but it’s too far away for the boy’s liking.

They are silent for what feels like forever. The only sound filling the silence is the ticking of the clock. A reminder that time is slipping by and they shouldn’t waste another minute of it but currently, Lucas is unable to move. It feels like he’s paralyzed. He wants to be brave and tell Eliott how he feels yet there is something inside him that keeps spreading all the negative thoughts in his mind. It’s like poison. It is trying to get him to get up and leave but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to let his fears dictate how he lives anymore but the clock keeps ticking and the time keeps flying and nothing is happening.

“Are you feeling alright..?” Eliott asks. There is concern in his voice. His eyes are studying Lucas, trying to see if he needs anything.

Lucas barely nods as the air around him seems to be getting hotter and hotter, making it almost impossible to breathe. He feels like vomiting but that would be very unattractive. Especially since he came all this way to tell Eliott that he likes him. He hasn’t had that much to drink so this can’t possibly be because of the alcohol, can it?

The small boy flinches when he feels a gentle touch on his shoulder. He hadn’t even realized that Eliott had moved closer to him and is now seated by his side. He has one hand on the nape of Lucas’ neck and the other on his shoulder. He is talking but Lucas cannot hear a word of it. It feels like he’s dying.

_Great._

_He is probably the only person who suddenly decides to start dying right as he is about to tell the guy he likes how he feels._

Eliott’s touch is so soothing though. It is gentle and kind. He is rubbing Lucas’ shoulder with one hand whilst the other one seems to have wandered up to the base of the younger boy’s head, stroking his hair. It takes a few moments for Lucas to start calming down.

“Breathe, Lucas..” The older boy is saying on repeat.

Lucas gulps a lump down his throat and lifts his chin up, meeting Eliott’s gaze. It appears that he can move again which is a good thing. He has no idea what just happened to him but this isn’t the first time this happens. Maybe he needs to get it checked out. Hopefully, he’s not going crazy like his mom.

“I’m good..” Lucas speaks, voice barely audible.

Eliott doesn’t seem to buy this because he grabs the untouched glass of water and helps Lucas take a few sips.

“I’m sorry… I.. think.. I think should go home..” Lucas states. Maybe he needs to clear his mind and figure out what he is going to say before saying anything because this isn't going as planned. He'd imagined marching in here and screaming at Eliott about how much he likes him and how much he wants to be with him. But instead, he's turned into a ball of fear.

“There is no way in hell that I will let you go home.” Notes Eliott before getting up from the couch and helping Lucas on his feet. “You are staying here.”

Lucas doesn’t even try to argue. He wouldn’t mind spending the night here at Eliott’s. It wouldn’t be the first time except this time he won’t run away in the morning and leave a silly note. He would wake up and Eliott would be the first person he greets. It would be such a beautiful start of the day.

Lucas isn’t unable to walk. He can walk perfectly but Eliott doesn’t seem to believe so because he has an arm wrapped around Lucas’ waist to hold him up whilst leading him to his bedroom.

_Wait…_

He’s going into Eliott’s bedroom. He is going to spend the night there. His heart starts racing and he can’t keep his mind from going to certain places. _It’s not the time for those thoughts right now_ , he tells himself.

Eliott settles Lucas onto the edge of the bed then goes to pull the covers down and fluff the pillow. Lucas is loving having someone take such good care of him. Eliott is so tender-hearted. He crouches on the floor in front of Lucas and the small boy looks like a deer in headlights. He cannot but wonder what Eliott is doing down there? He glances down at the boy and it appears that he is taking Lucas’ shoes off. When he looks up, he has an oh so warm smile plastered upon his lips.

“You can sleep here tonight…” Eliott states as he gets back up on his feet. “I’ll take the couch. You can call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you…” Whispers Lucas whilst wriggling up on the bed until his back is pressed against the headboard. He doesn’t want Eliott to sleep on the couch. It’s not like it would be the first time they fall asleep next to each other.

“Alright.. well, I’ll give you some space.” Says Eliott.

“No.” Lucas is quick to respond. “You.. you don’t have to go..”

Eliott tips his head to the side, his smile growing wider as he stares at the small boy seated on his bed. “No?” He asks.

Lucas shakes his head. “Stay here…” His tone is pleading but he tries to clear his throat before carrying on. “I want you to stay here..” His heart is back to beating a million times in a second. It feels like he’s running a marathon or something.

“Okay.” Eliott is happy to oblige to Lucas request. He kicks his own shoes off and clambers onto the bed, laying down beside Lucas who is still sitting with his back against the headboard.

He looks down at the beautiful, angelic-looking boy by his side. Eliott is smiling up at him, inviting Lucas to lay down with his eyes.

“All my life… I thought that I would never meet someone who makes me feel the way that people talk about in books..” Lucas starts. “I thought those were just stories and fairytales.. that they weren’t real… but then.. here you are.. I have only known you for a little while yet I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… I can’t stop thinking about you.” He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. “I literally cannot stop. It’s like you have invaded my brain, took residency there and refuse to leave… and to be honest, I don’t want to stop thinking about you, Eliott…” His voice is so small. He sounds like a little, frightened child.

It feels so good to have let everything out of his chest though. It took a lot of energy and courage but he did it. And now, it feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. He feels at ease. Like he can finally breathe again.

Eliott doesn’t say anything. He just pulls Lucas down until the boy is wrapped in his arms, holding him so tight like he’s holding onto dear life.

Lucas has head buried in the curve of Eliott’s neck. The sweet scent of the older boy being the only thing he can breathe and it is heavenly. He nervously wraps an arm around Eliott’s waist. He can feel Eliott’s racing heart against his own, they’re beating at the same rhythm, in unison.

Eliott’s body is so warm, being in his arms feels like being wrapped in a security blanket. It’s like every single worry in the world has vanished. There’s nothing but love and happiness.

“You’re suffocating me.” Lucas murmurs, being his idiotic self by pretending to choke.

Eliott is giggling while shaking his head, loosening his grip around Lucas. “I’m sorry but you’re just so squishable.”

Lucas lifts his head up to look up at Eliott through hooded eyes. “Are you saying that I am chubby?” He furrows his brows.

“Well, not per se. You’re just very cuddly.” Eliott speaks and his voice is so giddy.

They are mere inches away but neither of them moves to kiss the other. This night is perfect as it is. Sure, Lucas would love to lean just an inch in and feel the soft lips of Eliott on his but this is not the right moment. Instead, Eliott leans in and plants the most gentle kiss on Lucas’ forehead before proceeding to cuddle the crap out of the boy. He's holding Lucas in such a way that would make it impossible for him to get out of the bed.

"Good night, Lulu." he whispers with his lips pressed to the top of Lucas' head.

"Night, raccoon.." Lucas can feel Eliott smiling at that. He deposits a kiss on Lucas' hair.

The boys fall asleep all tangled up, holding onto each other as if they are afraid that all of this is a dream. Both of them refusing to loosen their grip for the slightest second.

Despite it being terrifying for both, tonight was the start of something beautiful.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cuddlefest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter!  
> Thanks for the lovely comments!  
> You guys are the best!!

There is a little tingling sensation on Lucas’ cheek. It is tickling and not allowing him to sleep properly. A grumpy little huff parts the boy's lips as he is half awake now, his eyes remaining shut. When he feels the tickle again, he goes to smack it but is met with a warm touch. His sleepy eyes flicker open. It takes a moment or two for them to adjust to the light. He blinks slowly in order to get his vision to clear up.

A smiling-like-an-idiot Eliott is the first thing he sees.

“Sorry for waking you.” Says Eliott as he continues to gently poke and stroke over the boy’s cheek.

Lucas lets a faint whine escape his throat and hides his face in the pillow which is drenched with the older boy’s wonderful scent.

“Not a morning person eh?” Asks Eliott, brushing his fingers through Lucas’ mess of a hair. “Is that why you snuck off last time?” His tone is teasing.

This catches Lucas’ attention. He opens an eye and peers at Eliott. Voice muffled as he mumbles against the pillow. “I left you a note.”

“Oh, I know! It was wonderful.” He is still being all teasing and playful.

Lucas rolls over to lay on his side, facing Eliott. “Hey, at least I did not leave without saying anything.”

“That is true.” Eliott agrees before wrapping an arm around Lucas’ waist and pulling him closer until their bodies are flushed against each other with Lucas' back pressing against Eliott's chest.

“Eliott! I can’t move if you’re gonna hold me like that!” Shrieks Lucas.

“Maybe I don’t want you to move.” Eliott responds, his face hidden in Lucas' hair on the back of his head.

This is definitely something Lucas could get used to, having someone who cuddles the hell out of him. It’s wonderful. Eliott is so snuggly, it’s the most adorable thing ever. Even when they were asleep, Lucas woke up a couple of time during the night and Eliott was still clinging to him. It’s like he doesn’t even want to be apart from the boy at all.

“Eliott..?” Lucas’ asks in a soft tone. The boy hadn’t moved or said anything for a few minutes so Lucas thought that maybe he had fallen back to sleep.

“hmm..?” Is all Eliott responds with.

“I need to get up.” Explains Lucas. “I need to take this hoodie off because it’s too warm in here.” He tries to get up or drawback from the other boy’s embrace but he is stopped.

“No.” Eliott now snakes his arms around Lucas’ shoulders, holding him tight whilst his legs tangle around Lucas’, preventing the boy from moving. “If you get up then you might leave.”

Lucas can’t but grin widely. “I am not going anywhere!!” He wiggles and tries to escape Eliott’ tight grip unsuccessfully. “Eliott!”

The older boy lets out an ever so dramatic, loud sigh out before loosening his grip around Lucas. “UGH! Fine!”

“Thank you.” Says Lucas while rolling out of bed but instead of landing on his feet, he ends up falling on his ass.

Eliott jolts up in a sitting position and looks over to Lucas who is sitting there, cheeks red as a tomato. Eliott’s lips tremble for a moment before he bursts into laughter. It is the most beautiful and musical sound Lucas has ever heard but he is pretending to be angry so he can't smile.

“That’s not funny!” He says as he pushes himself off the ground. He gives Eliott and sharp look but the boy does not stop laughing.

“Alright, just for that. I’m gonna take off!” Lucas declares and before he is even able to move a muscle, Eliott’s hand is grabbing his wrist and tugging him back on the bed.

“Don’t goooo.” He coos, his arms wrapped around Lucas’ small figure, holding him so dearly.

Lucas can’t keep pretending to be angry anymore. Eliott is just so precious and sweet. He turns his head toward the boy’s direction, their gaze meeting and Lucas is back to drowning in those beautiful blue eyes of Eliott. He leans in and pokes the tip Eliott’s nose with his own which earns him an endearing giggle out of Eliott who in return plants a feather-like kiss on Lucas’ nose.

“Are you hungry?” Eliott asks. One of his hands had found its way up to the back of Lucas’ head, brushing his hair.

“Please yes but I’m the one who is going to make something now. You shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen!” Lucas playfully states, a mischievous grin playing about his lips at the offended look on Eliott’s face.

 “You are kicking me out of my own kitchen?!?! How rude!” Eliott tuts, shaking his head.

“Well, you can be my personal assistant!” Lucas says and pokes at Eliott’s side, grinning like an idiot. His hands find Eliott head and cradle it. “I shall be your Yoda for cooking.”

Eliott has a grin that is as giddy as Lucas’. He is shaking his head in disbelief of how much of a dork the boy is. He copies the younger’s boy moves by cradling the sides of his face. “You may be my Yoda for the day.”

Lucas is grinning from ear to ear which is causing his nose to scrunch up. He nuzzles closer to Eliott, leans forward and leaves a sweet kiss on the boy’s cheek. Soon, they are back to cuddling and not leaving the bed. Lucas his face hidden in Eliott’s chest, listening to the boy’s heartbeat. Eliott, however, is holding Lucas and playing with his hair. He seems to rather enjoy doing that. It’s really cute.

It takes them around 30 minutes to gather the strength needed to pull away from the other. They head to the kitchen and Eliott hangs in the back. He is seated on the kitchen counter, head tipped to the side, observing the small boy in action. Lucas is not the best cook by any means but he knows how to make some stuff. This morning is special so he’d decided to make pancakes. Thankfully, Eliott had restocked his shelves and had bought all the necessary ingredients to make the pancakes.

Lucas casts a glance back over his shoulder at Eliott who has done nothing but watch him while smiling oh so widely. He seems to enjoy having Lucas around just as much as Lucas enjoys being here. It’s kinda odd how comfortable this already feels but he is loving every single moment of it.

“Are you gonna help me or what?” Asks Lucas.

“Well, you look really cute, all busy flipping pancakes. I am enjoying watching you.” Replies Eliott before hopping off the counter and coming to stand behind Lucas, coiling his arms around the smaller boy’s waist, his chin tucked on Lucas’ shoulder. “How may I help you?” His lips are pressed to Lucas’ cheek, placing lovely kisses there on repeat.

The kisses are making Lucas giggle uncontrollably. “Well, you can continue doing that.”

Although he cannot see Eliott’s face, he can just feel him smiling, he can hear it in his voice. “Yes, sir.” He says before carrying on with peppering kisses on Lucas’ cheek. He stops for a moment only to move over to the other cheek and give it some attention as well.

Lucas takes a tight grip of the pan’s handle as he attempts to flip a pancake. He manages to catch it which earns him a big, loud smooch on the cheek from Eliott.

When breakfast is ready, the boys decide to use the small dining table in the kitchen instead of the couch for a change. They are sitting next to each other and not across from one another. Lucas’ pancakes seem to have earned Eliott’s approval because he is devouring them. At least one of them can make edible food. If Eliott was the only one to cook, they’d be getting sick all the time.

Speaking of being sick.

“Oh, I forgot to ask. Are you feeling better?” Lucas asks. Eliott gives him a confused look so he adds. “You know, the other day, you said you were sick.”

“OH! That! Well.. uhm.. yeah. I am feeling much better now.” He seemed off there for a split second. Is he hiding something or is Lucas just imagining things?

“That’s good. And it is also the exact reason why you should never step into the kitchen alone.” He jokes in hopes to lighten the mood again which seems to pay off cause Eliott is smiling again.

“You are never going to let that go are you?” Eliott pouts.

Lucas is shaking his head, a shit-eating grin splitting his face. “Never!” He kind of wants to lean in and plant a kiss on Eliott’s pout but they haven’t kissed yet so he shakes the thought away.

The rest of the morning is spent on the couch where the resume their cuddling session while watching some weird movie about two guys pretending to be cops. They both cling to each other the entire time, not wanting to let go, not even for a second. Lucas dozes off every so often. Being in Eliott’s arms is just too calming and peaceful. He has the warmest embrace ever. Being much taller than Lucas makes it easy for the boy to envelop Lucas completely in his arms which Lucas absolutely adores. It’s kind of perfect, how their bodies seem to fit so well together. It’s like they’re made for each other.

Afternoon comes and the boys decide to take a break from cuddling on the couch by going to sit on the window seat which is located in Eliott’s bedroom. Eliott is sitting with his back against the wall and Lucas is sprawled between his legs, his back pressed against the older boy’s chest. Lucas seems to lose all focus in this position because Eliott’s arms are wrapped around him and the boy has truly good looking veins on his arms which Lucas is too busy tracing and playing with.

Hours later, it starts to get dark outside and Lucas realizes that it might time for him to leave. They have school tomorrow and he has to get home on time to shower and get some good sleep. He hasn’t checked his phone all day long so he probably has hundreds of texts from his friends asking where he disappeared to.

“I think I should go.” He says. The boys had gone back to the bed after lunch, facing each other, foreheads touching and eyes shut, just breathing each other in.

Eliott shakes his head, causing his nose to nuzzle against Lucas’. “You don’t have to.. you can stay here tonight as well..”

Lucas allows his eyes to open and he brings a hand up to cup Eliott’s cheek. “We have classes tomorrow.”

“I know.. but we can skip… or you can wear my clothes to school” Eliott tries to convince him.

Lucas has to giggle at this. “Eliott.. your clothes won’t fit me… It’d look like I’m wearing a dress and not a shirt.”

Eliott is back to pouting again, looking as adorable as ever. “I really don’t want you to go… I like having you here.”

“I like being here too…” Lucas whispers.

He feels sad. He really does not want to go. Spending another night with Eliott would be so perfect. God knows when the next time they see each other will be what with Eliott always skipping and disappearing. Hopefully, he won’t disappear again, not after they both confessed their feelings to each other.

As Lucas is getting out of the bed to prepare himself to leave, he takes a look at Eliott who is sitting on the bed and watching him. He’s never missed a day of school so one day won’t hurt right? He can just call in sick and spend tomorrow being all snuggled up with Eliott again. Today was probably the most perfect day in Lucas’ life. He’s never been this happy or at ease before. He’s never felt this good before. He doesn’t want this feeling to end so quickly. So, what if he misses a couple of classes. He’d just be sitting in class being bored out of his mind all day long anyway. This way, he will get to spend his day with Eliott, what could be more wonderful than that?

“You know what? Fuck it. I’m staying!” He declares and gets rid of his hoodie before climbing back on the bed with Eliott who is looking like a child on Christmas morning right now. He is so happy that Lucas is staying and it is so heartwarming.

Before going to bed, Lucas goes to take a shower. Eliott had lent him a pair of clothes that no longer fit him. They were still a bit baggy on the small boy but they didn’t look too bad. Besides, he is wearing Eliott’s clothes, and being drowned in his scent. It’s like having Eliott stitched to his skin at all times. Pure perfection.

They spend the rest of the night talking, cuddling and holding onto each other. They talk about their favorite movies, favorite books, favorite songs. And then they fall asleep with Lucas curled up against Eliott’s side and Eliott snuggling him tightly into his chest. It is honestly the best way to sleep, being next to Eliott. The boy just oozes calmness and loveliness and kindness and everything good in the world.

This works. This feels right. This all Lucas has ever wanted and he is finally getting it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

To say Lucas is smitten would be an understatement.

He and Eliott had skipped school on Monday and spent the entire day in bed talking and cuddling. It was exhilarating. Eliott is the best snuggler in the entire world. He just has the warmest embrace ever.

Tuesday after school, Lucas returned to his place to a very irritated Manon and Mika. The boy had not checked his phone for two days, his friends didn’t know where he was so Manon and Mika were starting to freak out before he popped up. There was a long, long lecture from the two of them about the importance of communication. It was kind of like having to explain to your parents why you didn’t get home on time.

Eliott has been showing up to school every day now. He and Lucas are always sitting next to each other in class. They sit so close to each other that their arms are touching, it’s like even when they’re not home alone, they need to feel the other in some way. Imane is always giving them a weird look, she probably suspects something but who knows?

It’s Thursday noon now, classes are finished and Lucas is on his way home. He and Eliott had not made any plans yet. Eliott left school before Lucas could catch up to him so he was probably with his own life.

_His own life._

It’s kind of odd how he doesn’t really talk about his life come to think of it. Everything about him is such a mystery. Although, Lucas has not really shared much about his personal life either but that is mostly because he doesn’t wanna scare Eliott away with his messed up parents. But, if anything is to happen between them, they need to get to know each other. So, Lucas makes a mental note to casually try to slip some facts about him to Eliott in hopes that Eliott would return the favor.

* * *

 Lucas is sitting on the couch, legs propped on the coffee table, hands locked behind his head while watching TV. Lisa and Mika are seated by his side. He’s about to doze off when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

“Is that your phone or are you just excited to see me?” Mika asks in a teasing tone and Lucas looks at him horrified.

“NO! it’s my phone!” Lucas cringes and earns a slap on the shoulder from Mika.

It’s a text from Eliott. The small boy tries to conceal his screen by turning the brightness really low so no one can see who is texting him. He has a big smile on his face, one that he is unaware of until Mika gives him a questioning look. So, Lucas tries to casually get out of the room in order to finally respond to the text.

Wait…

What?

He bolts to his bedroom, locking the door behind him before going to the window. Eliott is standing down there with the brightest smile on his face. Apparently, he is the sun in human form. He literally seems to be shining and sparkling. It sounds cringy and silly but it’s the truth.

A wide grin is growing on the boy's lips. What is Eliott even doing down there? Did he come to surprise Lucas? It’s so sweet and he is about to combust of happiness.

The small boy quickly grabs his jacket and shrugs it on before running out of his bedroom. He is moving so fast that he is unable to stop when Mika is in his way and they end up colliding and almost falling.

“Jeez! Calm your tits!” Mika shrieks.

Lucas is trying to compose himself, trying to straighten his clothes and fix his hair. “Sorry, I didn’t see you. I gotta go.”

“Where to?” Mika asks curiously. There is a hint of humor in his tone.

“Nowhere. Just going for a walk.” Lucas responds casually.

Mika is arching up a brow and grinning devilishly. “Really? So it has nothing to do with the pretty boy standing outside, looking at your window and smiling like an idiot?”

Lucas’ heart stops beating for a split second. _Control yourself_. He clears his throat, palms starting to get sweaty and heartbeat quickening. “Is there someone outside? I’m just going to.. call my dad.”

It is obvious that he is laying. He is the worst liar in the history of horrible liars. He would probably be in the top 3 horrible liars.

Mika can tell that he isn’t being honest but he doesn’t try to push him to say anything. He just gets out of the way and says. “Alright. Well, have a good ‘walk’” He brings his hands up, using air quotes on the final word.

There is no point in trying to salvage this situation. Getting the hell outta here is the only option which what Lucas does. He walks past Mika slowly then once he is out of the door, he rushes down the stairs until he is outside. Eliott is standing there, looking as beautiful as ever.

“Hey, you!” He says.

“Hi!” Lucas responds. “This was a nice surprise.”

“Yeah?” Asks Eliott before adding. “Well, I am pleased to hear that. I am here to kidnap you, sir.”

Lucas’ eyes go wide open like two big plates. “What?”

“I am taking you somewhere so let’s go.” Is all Eliott says before reaching for Lucas’ hand and dragging the small boy along with him.

* * *

 It is already dark out. The streets are glistening with the thin layer of water on them. It rained earlier today and it is probably going to rain once more. It’s really cold as well which sucks because Lucas forgot to wear a scarf or a beanie or anything that would help him warm up.

He and Eliott took the bus and stepped out somewhere Lucas had never been before then Eliott was leading him down the street and now they are standing in front of an iron gate which Eliott is attempting to unlock.

“Are you sure we can be here?” Lucas asks whilst glancing around his surroundings.

“Positive!” Eliott responds and right at that moment, the lock is undone.

Eliott pushes the iron gate open and steps in before gesturing with his head for Lucas to follow. Where the hell is Eliott taking him? It’s already so dark and this place looks creepy. Like the kind of place you might be murdered at. He is hesitant but ends up following Eliott in. Of course, he follows Eliott in. He would follow him anywhere, even straight into hell.

“You’ve never been to La petite ceinture before?” Eliott asks as he snatches a flashlight out of his pocket to light their way.

Lucas is shaking his head. “No. I have never heard of it.”

“It’s my favorite place in the city.. this is where I like to come when I wanna be alone.” Eliott sounds so excited to be sharing this with Lucas. This is exactly what the boy wanted, to learn more about him, to get to know him, his likes and dislikes.

“You’re taking people to where you want to be alone? That defeats the purpose doesn’t it?” A faint grin grows on the small boy’s lips.

“No, but this is special. I have never brought anyone here before.” He turns his gaze to look at Lucas who starts blushing.

“No? Not even your ex?” He asks. His cheeks feel flaming hot.

“Nope. You’re the first and only one.” Eliott responds with his soothing voice. He is such a soft, tender person. It is impossible not to fall for him.

Lucas tries to muster up the strength to speak but he is interrupted by his phone which vibrates before shutting off. He glances down to it. _Fuck_. He forgot to charge it today.

“My phone is dead..” Lucas’ voice is small.

“That’s okay, Lulu. I’ll lead you.” Eliott mutters, reaching a hand out for Lucas to take.

Lucas’ shaky and sweaty hand comes in contact with Eliott, their fingers interlocking, fitting so well together. Again, it fits perfectly, like their hands are made for each other. He is following Eliott further into the woodsy looking area.

“Do you hear how clam it is?” Eliott asks in a whisper as if he is worried that he might disturb the calmness.

Lucas nods, a small smile playing about his lips. “Yeah” he whispers in response.

There is a clear path which the boys are following, going fruther, deeper into the place. In the distance, there seems to be a bridge of some sort. It’s appears to be much darker underneath it then it is out here and to be quiet honest, Lucas isn’t the biggest fan of darkness. He'd rather stay out here than go there. 

Eliott seems to sense the tension in Lucas body because he glances toward him and dedicates him a sweet smile like telling the boy not to worry. It gives Lucas some sort of relief until he is pulled into the cave-looking place. It’s so dark in there that you would not able to see anything without a flashlight. It’s honestly unnerving.

“Do you like it? This is my place.” Eliott mutters into Lucas' ear from behind.

“This is your place?” Lucas asks in a judgy but playful tone. “Thank you for welcoming me here.”

Eliott is circling around him. The flashlight making it difficult to see his face clearly.

“Are you scared?” He asks.

“Me? Scared? Pff never!” Lucas dismisses his words with a wave of his hand.

“Not even a little?” Eliott asks from behind Lucas.

Lucas is trying to glance at him but he is moving quickly. It kind of seems like a dance, to be honest.

“Not at all!” Lucas says and before he is able to add anything else, the flashlight goes off. Leaving him completely alone in the darkness. He turns around, squinting his eyes as if that would help him get night vision somehow.

“Eliott?” He asks. He can’t really move because he is afraid of tripping and falling so he is just turning around in his place. “Where are you?”

He hears Eliott’s giggles from behind him and he turns around to see him leaning against the wall there, the flashlight on.

“Honestly, that is not funny!” Lucas tries to sound nonchalant like he wasn’t just about to shit his pants.

“Still not scared?” The older boy asks, grinning.

Lucas is shaking his head, approaching Eliott and closing the distance between them. “Nope!”

“Alright, well, I won’t do it again because you look very scared.” Eliott teases.

“How nice!” Lucas grins and before he is able to process what is happening, he is back in the darkness with Eliott nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck! Eliott, seriously??” He turns around and tries to take a couple of small steps forward. “Okay, maybe a little scared.”

There is a little clicking sound behind him so he turns out and sees Eliott there, giggling. They are so close that he can feel the heat radiating from the older boy’s body. It sends shivers down his spine. Especially because Eliott seems to be inching closer to him.

Lucas’ heart is beating so loud that he cannot even hear the rain pouring down outside. Eliott is mere inches away from his lips. This is it. He is finally going to feel Eliott’s lips on his. His eyes flicker shut, lips parting in anticipation, waiting to be kissed.

_Click_..

It’s dark again.

Lucas curses his breath, his eyes fly open. _Why? Just why?_ He turns around to look for Eliott and the boy is standing outside in the rain, completely drenched. The moon shining on his skin, making him glow and look like an angel sent from above.

Lucas slowly approaches Eliott, his heart hammering against his chest. It’s a miracle that it hasn’t popped out of his chest. He stops a couple of feet away from the older boy, glancing up to the rain pouring down. Eliott’s hair is sticking to the sides of his face, he is wet from head to toe but still, somehow he manages to look breathtaking.

“What? Are you afraid of the rain too?” The taller boy asks, his voice steady and smooth.

Lucas doesn’t respond. Not with words at least. His eyes are speaking volumes and Eliott understands every single little thing they are saying. It’s like his and Lucas’ souls are so connected and bonded that they can feel what the other person is feeling and understand what the other person is saying without even using words for it. The small boy raises his arms, offering his hands to Eliott which he takes without a second thought. Their fingers interlock, palms touching and Lucas is back to feeling weak in the knees.

Eliott tightens his grip on Lucas’ hand and tugs him closer at the same moment that the smaller boy decides to lunge forward. Their lips collide in one heavenly kiss. Lucas feels like his soul was just shoved back in his body and that he is coming to life. His heart is no longer beating fast but rather dancing and doing cartwheels.

Eliott’s hands are on Lucas’ face now, keeping him close as their lips move slowly against each other. His lips are so warm and soft, it is sending tingles all over the smaller boy’s body. He’s never been kissed like this. He can feel everything Eliott feels for him through the kiss, he can taste the want, the need, the longing, the admiration. It’s magical.

Neither of the boys wants to pull away from their kiss, not even to catch heir breath. Breathing is unnecessary right now. All that matters is this moment they are in. They only drawback when they are both so out of breathless that they might have passed out.

Lucas brings his hands up to cup Eliott’s cheeks, a cute smile curling up his lips as he opens his eyes to look up at Eliott whose smile is as bright as ever. Honestly, the flashlight wasn’t needed in this dark place. All Eliott had to do was smile and it would have lit up the entire world, not just this area.

Lucas does what he was thinking of doing earlier today which is to grab Eliott’s face and bring him in for another kiss. The older boy almost stumbles from the power of Lucas'pull, giggling through the kiss which only makes this even more beautiful. Lucas is grinning against his lips. They are smiling and giggling and kissing all at once.

This what people mean when they talk about how love is the closest thing we have to magic.

This right here. This is magic at its finest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: lucas-eliot.tumblr.com


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments!

Sneaking Eliott into his room seemed rather impossible but it was much easier than anticipated. Lucas and Eliott spent a long time making out under the rain then they’d walked all the way to Lucas’ place. It was late by the time they arrived and his roommates were all asleep. All but Lisa but the girl is like glued to the couch so Lucas snuck Eliott in without her even noticing or hearing anything. She’d just waved Lucas off when he greeted her. He’d never been more thankful for her carelessness.

The boys were freezing cold, shivering when they went in Lucas’ room. They’d gotten rid of their drenched clothes and Lucas had lent Eliott one of his boxers, a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Obviously, he’d turned around to give Eliott some privacy when changing but listen, everyone takes a small peek to the person behind them. Besides, Eliott was there, half-naked, he couldn’t stop himself from looking back. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how Eliott is real, he seems to be so perfectly crafted, it’s like he’s a one of a kind masterpiece. That is just how he looks on the outside but his heart and soul are even more beautiful than his face. He is such a vibrant, genuine, kind, loving, wonderful person. There aren’t enough adjectives for Lucas to describe the amazingness of Eliott.

Lucas was shivering because of the cold and Eliott had mentioned something about using body heat to warm up. It was their excuse for cuddling and curling up against each other. They spent almost the entire night just kissing and touching and holding each other as if neither could believe that this was actually happening and needed some sort of reassurance. Lucas’ lips were all swollen by the time they’d fallen asleep. He just couldn’t keep himself from stealing kisses and pecks. Eliott’s lips taste like a soft piece of heaven and he could not stay away from them.

* * *

The morning came and the soft light of the sun had found a way to creep into the room from the closed curtains. This morning feels different than any other morning to Lucas. Maybe it’s because he has a very sleepy and warm Eliott nuzzled up to his side. Yes, that is definitely it. This is how every morning should start, with Eliott beside him, looking like the angel he is.

Last time, it was Eliott who’d woken up Lucas with tender strokes across his cheeks but this time, Lucas opts for pecking on the older boy’s lips until he wakes up. Eliott has the biggest smile on his face and his eyes are still shut. He looks so at ease and peaceful that Lucas regrets waking him up but it's too late now.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.. don’t kiss me..” he whispers, his voice groggy and it sounds extremely sexy to Lucas.

“I don’t care.” Lucas states before stealing yet another small peck from Eliott’s lips, earning a smile from the boy who finally flutters his eyelids open.

“Good morning..” says Eliott in that sleepy voice of his that Lucas is just adoring.

“Good morning to you too..” Lucas says while planting a cute, noisy smooch on Eliott’s cheek.

“You look so beautiful..” Eliott notes so out of the blue, causing the small boy to blush.

“Look who’s talking..” Responds Lucas.

Eliott is shaking his head, his smile ever so bright. “I am serious. You are so beautiful.. and I’m not just talking about your physical appearance..”

“Stop..” Lucas is blushing so much that he has to hide his face in the older boy’s chest to prevent him from seeing him looking like a tomato.

Eliott giggles and places a kiss on the top of Lucas’ head. “Even more beautiful when you blush.”

Lucas lifts his chin up, his gaze meeting Eliott’s. “What did you think of the first time you saw me?”

Eliott takes a moment to ponder over this and Lucas is expecting him to tease him over his behavior during class when they had met but Eliott surprises him by saying: “I thought him.. he must be scared of the dark.”

Lucas nudges Eliott, a giggle parting his lips. “I’m not freaking scared of the dark! How would you have reacted if a weird guy took you to a tunnel without a light?”

“I remember the first time I saw you like it was yesterday..” Eliott expresses, his voice reminiscing. “You looked so grumpy and cute, sitting all alone in the corner of the room..” Lucas is getting confused as fuck. He was not sitting in the corner of the classroom when Eliott came in. “I tried to come to talk to you but you didn’t hear me.. You weren’t having the best of time.. then it was getting really crowded and loud so I decided to go out for a smoke and there you were, puking your guts out. The perfect meet-cute don’t you think?” He asks like it is the most casual thing in the world. “Then I came to help you out and you asked me if you were dead because I looked like an angel.” He is grinning so wide.

When the hell did that happen?

Wait…

He isn’t talking about meeting him in the classroom. He’s remembering their real first meeting.

“I then took you inside to a quiet place, got you some water and you kept telling me that my hair looks so soft that you want to touch it.” Lucas’s cheeks turn red from the embarrassment he is feeling but Eliott carries on. “You put your head in my lap and talked to me about your parents until you fell asleep… I never stopped thinking about you since that night… Your touch brought me to life when I wasn’t feeling very well.” Eliott gulps a lump down his throat like it is getting difficult for him to continue talking about this.

Lucas is gaping at him, eyes wide, lips pursed in a thin line, blinking like an absolute idiot. His inability to function like a human being is back and he cannot say or do anything at the moment. Eliott remembers him. He freaking remembers. All this time, he had not forgotten about him. He remembers their first meeting perfectly unlike Lucas who was too drunk to remember most of the night. He is having little flashes to the things Eliott had mentioned but he doesn’t remember them as clearly as Eliott does.

“You.. You remember..” Lucas stutters. “I thought… since you introduced yourself that you didn’t know me..”

“Don’t be silly, Lulu.. how can I ever forget you.. as they say: seeing you was like listening to a song for the very first time and knowing that it would be my favorite..” The boy pushes himself up until he is propped on his elbow, his free hand strokes over Lucas’ cheek. “I just.. you looked so taken aback and I thought maybe you didn’t want to talk to me because I had given you my number but you never really texted or anything..”

“Wait what?!” It is Lucas’ turn to push himself up until he is in a sitting position. “You never gave me your number.”

Eliott arches a brow up at him. “Yeah, I did! I took you to the room of Emma’s mom because there was nobody in there and you were laying down with your head in my lap. You asked me to stroke your hair and I did that.. then when I had to go because your friends were calling for you, you hugged my arm and refused to let me move so I told you that you can call me or text me any time.. I wrote my number down on a napkin cause you’d lost your phone and put it in your pocket.”

“What…?” Lucas asks again. Could he really have had Eliott in his life over a year ago if he had not been that drunk and stupid? He feels like an idiot now. He wasted so much time. “I’m sorry..” He whispers, feeling guilt-ridden.

“Hey, don’t be. It’s all alright. We got to see each other again hm..” The older boy is sitting with his legs crossed, facing Lucas and cupping his cheeks. “Who knows how things could have gone at that time.”

“No.. they would have been great.. All this time I was thinking that you didn’t remember me because I am so forgettable and because I was a mess and looked like an idiot that night.” Lucas explains.

“Don’t be silly, baby.” Baby? Did he just call him baby? Is this the right time to freak out? The word sounds so cute coming from Eliott’s lips. “You are anything but forgettable. You are beautiful, you are funny, you are a joy to be around, you have a light within you that can never be put out..”

“Eliott… stop..” Lucas is avoiding looking up at Eliott because he is blushing so hard and feeling so shy all of a sudden. Ah, the Eliott effect. He’s the only person that has the ability to make him behave this way.

Eliott is smiling as he lifts Lucas’ chin up until their gazes meet. He inches forward and begins to leave a trail of tender, slow kisses all over the small boy’s face causing him to start giggling and smiling like an absolute dork.

Lucas manages to slide his arms over Eliott’s shoulders before pulling him for a sweet kiss. Soon, Lucas is on his back and Eliott is hovering above him. Their kiss growing deeper, more passionate. His hands find their way in Eliott’s hair, tugging at the strands and running his fingers through them. Eliott does truly have the softest hair.

Eliott’s lips leave Lucas’ only when he lowers himself down to the boy’s neck, sucking and nibbling onto his skin, leaving a small mark which Lucas doesn’t mind at all. He likes having a mark caused by Eliott on his skin. It makes everything even more real. The boy crawls further down and begins to pepper kisses all over Lucas’ stomach, sending shivers all over the small boy’s body.

Somehow, Lucas had managed to find the strength to roll them over until he was the one on top, straddling Eliott’s stomach while grinning down at him. He leans down and kisses the older boy’s lips before burying his face in his neck, drowning himself in the smell of Eliott and the sweet taste of his skin. He can spend days in this position, just like this. It cannot get better than this.

They spend another hour or two making out – time slips by without them even realizing how long it’s been – They kiss and kiss and kiss, breathe each other in, hold each other and just be with each other. They even skip school, it was going to be a short day anyway so there was no point in getting out of this warm environment and going to a cold, crowded place.

Somewhere along, Lucas is laying on stomach and Eliott has head nestled on Lucas’ back. He seems to be drawing circles and hearts with his fingers all over the boy’s skin which is just adorable. Being here right now is perfect but Lucas can’t help but wonder how things could have been different if Eliott never came to his school.

“What do you think would have happened if you never transferred to my school? Do you think that we would have met some other way?” Lucas wonders aloud.

Eliott is now resting his chin on the boy’s back, thinking over his words before speaking out “I don’t know..” He answers truthfully. “We might never have seen each other again.. it's a scary thought”

“Well, it happened anyway.” Lucas responds.

“You know, sometimes I tell myself that there are two roads and I have to take one. I never know what I miss or what my life could have been like by not taking the other road. It drives me crazy.” Says Eliott.

Lucas tries to look back at Eliott who is cuddled against his back. “When I have to make decisions or whenever I think about my life and where it is right now.. I always tell myself that there are other Lucas’ in different parallel universes who are choosing things that I didn’t go for.. for example, Somewhere in the multi-universe, there is a Lucas who did find your number and dial you up. Another Lucas is probably tall and muscular and handsome, he is still out there looking for his Eliott. Another Lucas has probably already found his Eliott and they are by the beach in Hawaii, living their best lives.” Lucas can feel Eliott smiling against him, his body feels so relaxed.

“How do you know that all Lucas’ are with Eliott’s? Maybe there are Lucases who are into girls or another man.. maybe your roommate.” Eliott teases.

Lucas cringes. “NO! Mika is not an option! Neither are girls.” He shakes his head and peers back at Eliott. “We are all Lucas and although we have different lives, the outcomes are the same. We don’t like different people. We have a type.”

“Oh, and I am your type in every universe?” Eliott giggles.

“Most certainly.” Is all Lucas says.

“Well, I am beyond honored.” Eliott leaves a kiss on Lucas’ back before laying his head on it again.

The boys are close from drifting off to sleep when Lucas’ phone rattles against the nightstand beside the bed. He lazily reaches over and grabs it. He unlocks the screen and it is a text from his mom. Another one of her weird texts. He ignores it and tosses the phone back on the nightstand.

“Sorry.. it was my mom.” He says

“It’s okay. You can respond to her.” Eliott says in a sleepy tone before asking “Would you ever tell your parents about us?”

Lucas takes a moment to think this over. “Well yeah… My dad feels bad for leaving us so he won’t really say anything about it. And my mom..” He pauses, grimacing before he continues “She’s crazy so I don’t care.”

Eliott’s body stiffens for the slightest second. It goes by so quick that Lucas assumes that he must have imagined it.

“What do you mean she’s crazy?” He asks. His tone sounds different, it’s one that Lucas hasn’t heard before.

“Well, she thinks that God has sent her to save this earth from demons and devils. It’s weird. I don’t know how to be around her honestly. But don’t worry, I don’t talk to her.” He says in a low tone. He feels ashamed for the way he speaks about his mother but it’s the truth.

“I am not worried.. why don’t you talk to her?” Eliott’s voice sounds like he’s holding something back, like he’s trying to hide his emotions.

“Because I don’t need people like that in my life.. I don’t need crazy people in my life.” Lucas says.

Eliott goes silent and his breathing seems to get heavier. Lucas doesn’t know why but he thinks it’s because he’s scared Eliott by how messed up his family is. He hopes that Eliott understands that he isn’t like his parents.

“My life is better without them, don’t worry.” He tries to reassure Eliott that everything is fine. That he is different.

Eliott nods slowly. “That’s good to know… Lulu..” If Lucas didn’t know any better he would have thought that Eliott sounds sad or heartbroken even but he has no reason to feel that way, right? Lucas is probably imagining things. He presses a kiss on the small boy’s back, his lips linger there longer than usual, almost as if he is trying to savor this moment.

Lucas doesn’t say anything else. He thinks that Eliott has fallen asleep because the boy has gone radio silent, he is holding onto Lucas so tight like it’s their final time holding each other or something, his breathing is heavy. Lucas ends up dozing off soon. The feeling of Eliott’s warm body and his soft touch are so beyond soothing, it’s impossible not to get all relaxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you hear the angsty music in the background?? ;D


	13. Chapter 13

When Lucas woke up next, Eliott was gone without a trace. His clothes, everything was gone. The only thing he’d left behind was a piece of paper with the drawing of a raccoon holding a hedgehog tight. There was a little note under the drawing that said ‘Eliott #456 is a lucky man. You are beautiful.’

The boy was smiling like an idiot, holding the piece of paper against his chest. This is really happening, isn’t it? He finally found someone he truly likes and it’s such a wonderful feeling. It’s like the butterflies in his stomach are fluttering uncontrollably, his smile is not wavering off and chest feels light whereas before it always felt like there was a huge weight holding him down.  Now he’s finally free. Well, almost free. He still has to come out to his friends which would not be a problem. It’s coming out to his family that he’s worried about. What if this drives his mom even crazier? What if this makes his dad speak to him even less then he already does? It’s dreadful but he doesn't let it ruin his mood. He is happy. 

The happiness the small boy was feeling was rather short-lived because it seemed like Eliott had disappeared yet again. Lucas did not want to appear too clingy so he waited until evening before texting Eliott. After the nights they had together lately, Eliott wouldn’t have any reason to avoid or ignore him. He’d reply, right?

Eliott didn’t respond all night so Lucas told himself that it’s because he’s probably busy or tired. The boy hadn’t been home the night before and they were in the rain for a really long time, he might have caught a cold and is sleeping. It would explain his disappearance.

Saturday came and went, still no news from Eliott. He hadn’t even opened Lucas’ messages. It would have been fine if he left Lucas on read because at least then, he’d know that Eliott doesn’t want to talk to him but not even opening the messages is worrisome. What if he’s going through something? He wouldn’t have blocked  Lucas. He doesn’t have a reason to. They spent a wonderful time together, they opened up to one another about their feelings. Those nights they spent together just cuddling or making out, it didn’t feel like it was just for fun, it felt real, raw and full of emotions. Eliott doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would just go around making out with people he doesn’t truly like.

Lucas had to shake all the bad thoughts away from his mind. Eliott never really told him they were exclusive so he cannot expect that much from the guy. Maybe he just needs some space. Everything between them did happen so out of the blue, it might be overwhelming. So, Lucas decides to give Eliott his space. He is going to see him on Monday at school anyway. They can talk then.

Most of Sunday is spent with Lucas checking his phone. He did say he was going to wait until Eliott wants to talk to him to give the boy his space but it’s hard. It’s hard having to force yourself not to text someone when all you want to do is spend all day with them. Eliott is the first person in a while to make Lucas feel that way. Come to think of it, he’s never felt this way before. He just wants to be with Eliott, they don’t even have to do anything. All he wants is to be sitting next to him, breathing the same air as him. Just knowing Eliott is there next to him would make things a whole lot better.

 Okay, fuck this. He can text Eliott if he wants to. He isn’t being creepy or anything. He just wants to make sure Eliott is okay. That is all.

“Kitten, you okay?” A voice interrupts as the boy was typing his text. He looks up to see that’s Mika hovering over him.

“I’m good.” He nods slowly and glances down to his phone, making a pouty face without even realizing it as he deletes everything he had written, deciding not to text after all.

“You sure? You are pouting a whole lot.” He takes a seat beside the small boy.

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” Lucas says. He’s not used to sharing intimate things with his friends, let alone with his roommate.

“Is this about Eliott?” Asks Mika, causing Lucas’ head to whip up so fast that he actually kind of hurts his neck.

“What? How do you know Eliott??” He asks curiously. Mika is just grinning down at him like he just uttered the most ridiculous nonsense ever.

“I met him the other day when he was leaving your room. Seems like a nice guy.” Mika states.

“Oh.. yeah, he is.. he’s a friend and needed a place to crash so..” The small boy is the worse liar ever. He knows it yet he continuous to lie. He cannot even come up with lies that make any sense.

“Lucas..” Mika speaks in a stern tone, holding Lucas’ gaze. “The walls of the apartment are very thin. You share yours with me and Lisa..”

_Fuck._

Lucas feels like he’s just been dumped in a pool of boiling water. His entire body feels like it’s on fire and he is having a hard time breathing. He tries to look away to hide the blush on his cheeks. Freaking Mika heard him and Eliott?? That is so beyond embarrassing.

“So, again, is this about Eliott? You don’t have to share everything but maybe I can help.” Says Mika.

“Yeah..” Lucas finally responds truthfully. “I don’t really know what to do, Mika. I’m scared and I don’t know what’s happening.” His voice almost breaks as he is on the verge of tears. The last thing he wants is to start crying but he’s been bottling things up for so long, it feels like everything is about to explode.

“Well, tell me what the problem is and I might be able to help. Okay?” Mika says while stroking Lucas’ arm comfortingly.

“Okay..” Here it goes. “Eliott and I.. we.. we didn’t do.. you know.. that.. but still.. he spent the night here and it was amazing then we woke up together and had a long conversation but then… I fell asleep and by the time I woke up he was gone. I tried texting him but he hasn’t responded since then. I don’t know what this whole thing is. He hasn’t even opened my messages and I cannot help but wonder if it’s because of me. Maybe I did something wrong or maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to do anything with me anymore or if he’s going through something.. I’m just so confused. I want to text him but I figured that if he wanted to talk to me then he would have responded to me or texted me or something.. right?” The boy was speaking so fast that he’d forgotten to breathe.

“Okay.. kitten, you need to calm down. Just breathe deeply.” Mika says and pauses for a moment to let Lucas catch his breath before he continues. “Before we go through anything.. do you know if Eliott is seeing anyone?”

Lucas lifts his shoulders in a shrug as he replies. “Well, not right now. But..” he pauses for a moment to ponder over something before carrying on. “One time.. I was at his place and this girl showed up.. She.. she looked upset that I was there... she said that she’s his girlfriend but then he came to me and told me that they’d been broken up for a long time so.. I believed him.”

Mika gives him a sympathetic look like he knows something Lucas doesn’t and it makes the small boy feel even worse. “Kitten… Listen.. I do not know Eliott.. I only spoke to him one time for a hot minute but if the girl is still showing up to his place then maybe they aren’t as broken up as you might think.. I don’t want to make you question him because it would be wonderful if you guys get together… Maybe he’ll finally get you to stop being grumpy all the time.” He tries to joke to lighten the mood but it’s too late for that now.

“Do you think he’d have lied to me…?” Lucas asks in a small voice. That cannot be true though. That is not Eliott. He wouldn’t play with him like that. He’s an honest person. He is the one who came to Lucas to tell him how he felt first. He said that meeting Lucas changed his life so he wouldn’t lie about that.

“I don’t know.. it’d be best if you go speak to him about it.. don’t wait too long, alright?” Mika strokes Lucas’ hair before giving him a hug. “Just be careful.”

Lucas is shaking his head. “No, Eliott wouldn’t do that to me. I’m sure this whole thing is just a misunderstanding.”

Mika gives him yet another sympathetic look before saying “I truly hope you’re right, kitty.” He gives Lucas a poke on the nose before getting up from the couch and leaving the small boy to drown in his thoughts.

A person’s mind is a really messed up place to be stuck in which is where Lucas is right now. He cannot stop thinking about what Mika said. He does not want to believe the possibility of Eliott lying to him but then again, Eliott hasn’t shared much about himself. He’s still a big mystery. Things were okay between them. Better than okay. Eliott only started behaving oddly and going quiet when Lucas mentioned his crazy mom and horrible dad. That must be it. He must have scared Eliott away with that.

Lucas decides to text Eliott once more. Maybe they can meet up and talk about everything. Eliott needs to know that Lucas isn’t like his parents, that he’s different. On top of all of that, Eliott needs to know that Lucas is serious about them, that he kind of came out to someone. It’s a big step. It’s a big deal. So, the small boy grabs his phone and starts typing. He doesn’t reread everything he just typed otherwise he will continue to find things that are wrong with the text, he just hits send and waits.

This time around it doesn’t take Eliott longer than 5/6 minutes to respond but at what cost? Lucas would have preferred not getting any texts at all, still being blissfully unaware of what was going on. The small boy's vision is getting blurry from the tears pooling in his eyes. This must be a joke, keeps telling himself but denying it won't change anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapterrrr!  
> Hope you like it!  
> Thank you for your kudos and comments!  
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr: lucas-eliot.tumblr.com

Crying yourself to sleep is probably the worst idea ever; You wake up with a headache, puffy red eye. You look like you’re high as hell and feel like crap.

Eliott’s texts were so out of the blue, it caught Lucas by surprise. Things were so good between them, they were happy and it felt real. Their feelings for one another, they felt so raw and real which is why Lucas is so affected by the texts he’d received from Eliott. None of what happened makes any sense to the small boy. He barely got any sleep last night because he was wide awake, trying to figure out the exact moment things started to get bad. The only thing he was able to come up with is that he scared Eliott away with his messed up family.

When it’s time for the boy to get up, he does so with so much effort. The last thing he wants is to see Eliott today but it’s probably going to happen. He cannot escape it. He just has to put on a brave face and try not to cry in front of the jerk who broke his heart. 

For the short period of time Eliott's spent at this school, he'd skipped each Monday but of course, now he finally decides to show up. He has the worst timing ever. Lucas could honestly not manage speaking to him at this moment. He toyed with his feelings then dumped him for no reason. They usually sat together in all of the classes but this time Eliott didn’t even bother glancing at Lucas, he just came in the classroom and went to sit beside someone else. It stung. How could he have changed so much over the course of a couple of days?

The rest of the day goes by mind-numbingly slow. Eliott is present for the entire day but the boys' eyes don’t even meet for the slightest second. Lucas casts glances toward the older boy in hopes to get anything from him, a look, a nod, anything would suffice. But nothing. Eliott doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t look back and doesn’t show any sort of emotions in his eyes.

Lucas spends the day with his friends mostly, they can tell that he is not doing well because it is obvious from just looking at how tired and zombie-like he looks but they don’t ask any questions, they know that if he felt like talking then he would. Yann is the only one who approaches him after classes are done, asking him if he’s doing well, if things with his family are okay. It bothers Lucas that his friend always assumes that whatever he’s going through is because of his parents like okay, his family situation sucks but he has his own life and problems, it’s not all about them.

Back in the flat, Lucas hides in his room, trying to avoid Mika to the best of his abilities. Mika knows about Eliott but doesn’t know what happened, he tried to approach Lucas earlier in the morning but the boy just rushed out of the house, using the excuse of being late to school to bolt out. He doesn’t feel like talking at all, at least not right now. All he wants to do at the moment is to sit in his room and watch videos or movies and eat ice cream. He never understood why people ate ice cream when they were sad but he does now, it’s like a magical, cool thing that helps lessen the achiness of the heart.

* * *

The rest of the weeks goes by in a blur, Eliott shows up every single day but it is the same as it was on Monday. The older boy is just ignoring Lucas and acting as though he doesn’t even exist. Which is what makes things worse. If Eliott had come to Lucas and told him that he doesn’t want anything to do with him then it’d be fine but he opted for ending things through a freaking text and now he’s not acknowledging Lucas’ existence. And as much as Lucas wants to hate him for everything, he is incapable of doing so. Especially because it seems like Eliott has been going through a rough time; He looks so bad, the dark circles under his eyes just get worse with each passing day, he isn’t paying attention in class and sometimes he just gets up in the middle of a test and leaves. It’s worrying.

Lucas contemplates approaching Eliott every single hour of every day in the week. He opens their conversation and types a sentence then deletes and this whole process is repeated over and over. He can sense that something isn’t right but he just can’t put a finger on it. It is very clear that Eliott is going through something that is making him so distracted in class and why he looks like he hasn’t slept in forever. There’s nothing more that Lucas wants than to go hold Eliott and take care of him as he sleeps but there’s a part of him that is holding him back because after all, Eliott is the one who asked for space, trying to talk to him might make him uncomfortable. Besides, he knows that he can trust Lucas if there indeed is something that he is going through.

Things haven’t been going very smoothly this past week so Lucas decides that it’s time to finally speak to his friends. It's saturday and they probably do not have any plans. Also, they might have some words of wisdom to help him out with this whole thing. They can’t possibly have any reason to be angry with him for being gay. If they are, well then, he’d just have to find new friends who will accept him.

He texts his friends and asks them to meet at the park, it’s where they hang out lately. Also, He just needs to be out of his room and school environment because this past week was spent only at school and the flat. He needs some fresh air. Lucas still hasn’t figured out what he’ll tell them or how he’ll tell them anything but he figures that words will just flow when he starts speaking. He isn’t yet sure if he will mention Eliott but it also kind of depends on how his friends react to the whole thing.

Lucas tried to delay himself as much as possible from getting to the park, it takes a lot of effort to try and gather enough strength to talk to his friends. Part of him just wants to get it over with so he can stop stressing and being alone but part of him is scared shitless.

His friends are already gathered up in the park when gets there, Basile and Arthur are seated on a bench while Yann is standing there looking around, probably searching for Lucas. They appear to be talking about something and laughing out loud. Yann hits them on the shoulder when he spots Lucas approaching and the boys stop laughing. They all seem to be so concerned that they do not know how to act or what to say. They just greet him with a smile.

“Lulu!” Basile is the first to speak.

“Hi guys” Lucas responds in a small voice.

Arthur and Yann seem to notice how nervous he is because they share a look before scooting over and making room for him to sit in between them. Yann is the only one who chooses to sit down on the grass and look up at Lucas.

“We were just talking about Basile, Daphne finally accepted his friend request on facebook and he is freaking out!” Arthur states, trying to give Lucas time to simmer down.

“Oh yeah?” Lucas asks with a smile. His hands are so shaky and clammy.

“Yes! I wanted to message her straight away but these guys wouldn’t let me.. said that I have to wait for a few days before talking to her.” Basile interjects.

“Well, I think they’re right buddy!” Lucas speaks, trying to appear as neutral as possible.

“Are things okay with you?” Asks Basile, earning a slap on the shoulder from Arthur.

“Dude! Give him a chance to breathe!” Says Yann.

“What?! He is obviously nervous so I’m trying to start the conversation for him!” Basile says defensively.

Lucas can’t but smile. He truly has the best friends anyone could ever ask for. They deserve to know everything. He can’t hide himself from them.

“I’m fine.. it’s just.. things haven’t really been going that well..” Lucas begins.

“With your family?” Basile asks curiously and gets hit on the shoulder again for not letting Lucas continue.

“No.. I mean.. I don’t know.. I haven’t seen my parents in so long. My dad never responds to my texts and my mom.. she’s completely out of her mind.” He sighs out, breathing shakily. “What happened was.. I met someone..” It feels like he cannot breathe and that his body is on fire. He wishes Eliott were here to calm him down like last time he felt this way. “That’s why I have been so distant and why I have been disappearing a lot… it’s why I disappeared from your birthday, Basile..” The boys all share a bewildered look so he carries on “It’s so amazing with that person.. I have never felt this way before… I feel truly, wholeheartedly happy around them.. it feels like my heart is finally beating, like I’m alive..”

Arthur has a hand on the back of Lucas’ head, ruffling his hair as he says “So, what’s the problem, Lulu? Why didn’t you tell us before?”

Lucas looks up at them and suddenly his eyes are stinging,  tears are beginning to pool in them, making it difficult to see clearly so he attempts to blink the tears away which only causes them to roll down his cheeks

“Lucas…” Yann says, concern in his voice.

“I.. you see.. The person I’m talking about.. isn’t who you’d expect…”

“Not Chloe?” Asks Basile and Lucas shakes his head.

“No… It.. it’s not a girl…” Lucas keeps his gaze glued to his shoes as he utters those words out loud. There is a silence that lasts for what feels like forever.

“Well, go on! Who is it?? The suspense is killing us!” Says Yann.

Lucas looks up only to notice that all his friends are waiting impatiently for him to tell them who he likes. So wait.. does that mean they don’t have a problem with him being gay? From the looks of it, they only want to know more about who he’s talking about.

“You don’t have a problem with it…?” He asks sniffling. All three boys give him an offended look like they cannot believe he just said that.

“Lulu.. we are your best friends, we love and care about you. Being into guys wouldn’t change that.” Arthur interjects.

“Yes, you being gay means more girls for me!” Basile jokes, getting yet another hit on his shoulder.

“You don’t know that he’s gay. Maybe he’s bi.” Yann says.

“Or pan.” Arthur adds.

“Wait.. but is there a difference?” Asks a confused Basile.

“Obviously!” Responds Arthur.

Lucas’ can’t help but get even more teary-eyed as he watches his friends discuss everything. Arthur seems to know a lot about this topic. Even more than Lucas himself. But what matters is that his friends do not have a problem with it. On the contrary, they are supportive and loving.

“I’m gay.” Lucas states out of the blue.

“See! I told you!” It is Basile’s turn to hit Arthur on the shoulder now, earning an eye roll from the boy.

“But who is this guy you like?” Asks Yann.

“It.. I don’t know if you know him but it’s Eliott.” Lucas says and it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

“Oh! The new guy!!” Yann says. “He’s hot.”

Lucas can’t but giggle at that response. “What?!” He asks, wiping his tears away using the back of his hand.

“I said he’s hot. I mean, there’s no lie there.” Yann shrugs nonchalantly.

“True. He is a very good looking man!” Adds Arthur.

Lucas stares at his friends in disbelief, a smile splitting across his face. He truly has the best friends to ever exist in the history of best friends.

“I still have to meet him!” Basile says in a sad tone.

“Maybe you can invite him now?” Yann suggests and Lucas shakes his head.

“I… I can’t.. see..” He inhales deeply and rubs his palms over his face. “That’s the thing… We.. we had a great time together for about a week? Maybe a tad longer but then suddenly he sends me this message, telling me that he wants space, that things between moved so fast..” Just talking about it, having to relive everything is still painful. “He didn’t even talk to me all week… he would just come in the classroom and sit somewhere else.. not even look at me..”

His friends have a sympathetic look plastered upon their faces. They can see how much this hurts him, they can even hear it in his voice. It’s a sucky situation.

“Did you try to talk to him? Maybe ask why he did what he did?” Asks Arthur and Lucas shakes his head.

“No.. I tried.. I thought about doing it but.. what for? He’s probably back with his girlfriend again.” States Lucas.

“Look,” Yann begins. “I don’t know Eliott. I only saw him a couple of times and maybe he is as big of a jerk as he sounds but I still believe that it would be better if you talk to him.”

“But if he wanted to talk to me, he could have reached out..” Responds Lucas.

“I don’t know about everything that went down but I do agree with Yann.. Talk to him.. it’s the only way to get closure.” Arthur says in a warm tone.

“And if he doesn’t want you well then screw him! There are millions of Eliott’s out there in the world but there is only one Lulu!” Basile adds, wrapping his arm around Lucas’ shoulder.

“Amen to that!” Yann agrees.

Soon Arthur is messing Lucas’ hair. “One in a million, Lulu! Never forget!”

Family isn’t always people who are related to you by blood. This is Lucas’ family. These three dorks, he owes them his life. As long as he has them, he can get through anything. Yes, it sucks right now and he is in pain but he will get better eventually. Lovers come and go but friends are for life which is why he will never hide anything from them again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your tissues!

There is nothing more agonizing than having to wait. It feels like the clock refuses to work. Five minutes feel like five years. The ticking sound of the clock is all you hear when you are alone. It is so beyond excruciating. There is a comfort in that torturous feeling though; having to wait means that you still do not have to deal with whatever it is you are waiting for.

That is where Lucas is right now. He keeps waiting and waiting for Eliott to contact him but not hearing anything from him means that he does not have to worry about what is to come from the conversation they still need to have. Eliott asked for space, from what he said in the text, he just needed time to process everything but it’s been two weeks. How much time does one need to process? Lucas is hopeful and hopeless at the same time. It might seem impossible to be both but it isn’t. He is hopeful that Eliott will contact him or appear at his place out of the blue. He is hopeless because it has been two freaking weeks, one of which Eliott skipped. He didn’t come to school, not even for literature class which is his favorite.

It is not odd of Lucas to worry. Deep in his heart, he senses that something is not right, that there is more to the story than Eliott needing time. He just does not know what. It seems like it might be something Eliott does not feel good sharing yet but how much longer does he need? Lucas gave him time and space but he can’t just sit back and wait any longer. One of them has to take the first step. Last time, Eliott took the first step by telling Lucas he likes him. This time, Lucas will take the first step by going to Eliott and talking to him. Either things between them will turn out well or he can say goodbye and move on.

Lucas spent all of last night contemplating whether he should text Eliott or not and he reached to the decision that he will go for it. The situation can only go two ways and he is ready(ish) for either of those. The boy has been feeling more comfortable ever since he came out to his friends. The support he received from his friends was all he needed. He didn’t take too long to come out to his roommates then the girl squad. The girl squad was not surprised, especially Imane and Alexia. They’d probably seen how he and Eliott looked at each other during class and realized that they were more than friends. It was rather obvious come to think of it. Lucas thought he was being discreet but he always sat so close to Eliott that their bodies would touch, he was smiling like an idiot which is something he doesn’t usually do with people who are just friends and finally, he always looked at Eliott with heart eyes.

The gang had mentioned something about going to a party today but Lucas has other plans in his mind. If Eliott does not respond to his text, he plans on going to Eliott’s place and demanding an explanation. It’s what he deserves. They do not have to be together if Eliott does not want to but the least he can do is give Lucas and explanation as to why he changed his mind so quickly. The thought of losing Eliott or the boy rejecting him is terrifying. It makes him get all anxious and sweaty. He hates losing people. He hates having to say goodbye but sometimes you just gotta toughen up and be brave no matter how much it might hurt.

After texting Eliott, Lucas decides to go grab a bite to eat but on the way out, he bumps into Manon and she tags along with him. He enjoys her company because she is the closest thing he has to a sister. Hell, sometimes she even treats him like she is his mother. She is good to him, she doesn’t make him talk when he doesn’t want to and she gives good advice. During their lunch, he told her about his plans for going over to Eliott and she made sure he knew that things might not go well, that Eliott might have someone else over. She wanted him to be careful and not do or say anything stupid that he might regret.

Lucas checks his phone every other hour just to be sure that Eliott hasn’t responded. The boy sure does like to disappear. It’s late noon when Lucas sees the little two check marks on his message have turned green, indicating that Eliott has opened the message. It appears that he was online 20 minutes ago but chose not to reply. That is it. He is going to march over to Eliott and tell him that he is an absolute asshole. A reply takes only a few seconds out of your day. It is not a difficult thing to do. Especially if you have been ghosting someone for two weeks. Writing a reply, even if one word is something you owe them.

And so, Lucas gets up from the couch where he was nestled beside Manon while watching a movie. He goes to grab his jacket, put on his shoes then head out of the house. He does not even know if Eliott is home but he is determined to go there. He will wait outside all night long if he has to but he will get his conversation and Eliott cannot stop that.

It is crowded in the streets because it’s a Saturday evening so the bus takes longer than usual to arrive. The trip lasted almost an entire hour. One painful, long hour. But he is finally here, standing outside of Eliott’s apartment building, look up at the older boy’s window. The light is on which means that Eliott is indeed present. He isn’t busy with anything so he had the time to reply to Lucas. This only makes the small boy more grumpy.

Once again, he buzzes every single apartment until one careless person unlocks the door and lets him in. He climbs up the stairs as slow as possible, trying to figure out what he wants to say to Eliott exactly. He doesn’t want to panic like last time. He probably should have written everything he wanted to say to the other boy and memorized it, it would have been much easier than thinking of what to say moments before seeing Eliott. It is too late to walk away now. He has come this far and no way is he backing down. He just needs to look at Eliott in the eyes and say whatever comes to his mind at that moment. He knows how to speak so the words will just come to him.

The boy’s hands are trembling as he stands in front of Eliott’s door. His breathing is getting heavy and once again, his legs feel like they might give out and let him fall. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep, calming breaths. It’s now or never. He’s always been afraid of basically everything but no longer. He raises a shaky arm up and knocks on the door. He thought waiting for Eliott for two weeks was torturous but this is worse. Any second now Eliott will be standing across from him and Lucas tends to forget what speaking is when the other boy looks at him. He just needs to focus on the goal: tell Eliott how you feel.

There a slight sound of footsteps which is getting louder as they get closer and closer to the door. Lucas was here again a few weeks ago, telling Eliott how he feels and now he is back to the exact situation except this time he feels braver.

The door opens and it is not Eliott standing there.

It’s Lucille.

Lucas feels his stomach churning, like he wants to throw up. This can’t be happening. Was Mika right all along? Did Eliott really lie to him about breaking up with his girlfriend? He was with her all along? He takes a swift breath and clears his throat.

“Is… Is Eliott her-..” His voice drifts off when he notices Eliott appearing behind Lucille.

“Lucas..” He almost whispers.

“Hi..” Lucas’ voice is so small. He came here thinking that he will be all brave and tough but just seeing Lucille here turned him into a scared little boy.

“What are you doing here?” Ask Eliott.

“I came to see you.. but you’re clearly busy so.. I’m gonna go..” He takes a step back but is stopped by Eliott.

“No, wait.” Eliott says and gives Lucille a look which she understands without having to use words. She grabs her jacket and steps out of the apartment.

Lucas looks up at him, brows furrowed before stepping inside the apartment. He rubs his shaky, damp palms together quickly before turning around to look at Eliott.

“I texted you..” Lucas states and Eliott just stares down to the ground. He doesn’t say anything which makes this even worse. Any word would do. “Why did you lie to me?” Lucas asks, surprised by the confidence in his voice.

Eliott looks taken aback as his head whips up to look at Lucas. “Lie to you?” He asks.

“Yeah. About Lucille. You said you were broken up.” Lucas responds.

“I did not lie to you about that, Lucas.” Is all Eliott says.

Lucas scoffs. “Yeah, sure. So, you hang out with all of your exes casually.” Eliott parts his lips to speak but Lucas holds his hand up, stopping him. “You know what, I really really liked you, Eliott.. I… I haven’t felt this way before. Being around you… it made me feel alive.. it made me happier than I have ever been but I guess that it was one-sided.” His voice almost breaks but he clears his throat and carries on “I would understand you not wanting to be with me.. people like you can get whoever they want.. but the least you could have done is tell me that you don’t want to be with me. You spent the night and we had a wonderful time together but then you just disappeared and didn’t even bother to text to me then I finally texted you, you asked for space which I gave to you. I waited and waited for you to process everything. I gave you the time and space but you just… all this time you were just playing with me? Who does that? It is not fair for you to make me wait while you're out here with your girlfriend.” Lucas looks up at Eliott whose eyes seem to be getting red and watery. He doesn’t say anything so Lucas takes the chance to continue “What, you thought you would be with her until you get bored then get back to me? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because I know nothing about you. I don’t even know if you have a middle name. I thought you would open up to me when you felt ready but I guess I was wrong. You know I said I don’t need crazy people in my life well now I know that I don’t need people like you in my life.” That last sentence seems to hit harder than the rest because Eliott’s face goes so pale that he looks like a ghost.

“Lucas..” He murmurs, pain evident in his voice. “I said I need time because I knew you would be better off without me.” The tears are clinging to the corners of his eyes but he is holding them back. “I’m gonna say this to you once and after it, I want you to leave.” He inhales deeply like this is taking so much strength and energy from him. Come to think of it, he looks so bad. He doesn’t look like he is doing well at all. “I’m bipolar.” He states and waits for a reaction from the smaller boy but he gets nothing. “You don’t need crazy people in your life is what you said and that is what I gave you.”

“Eliott..” Lucas starts but is stopped by Eliott.

“You don’t need people like me in your life. You are better off without me so just leave, okay?” Eliott speaks, his voice firm. Lucas tries to talk but Eliott repeats. “Please.. just leave.. I cannot deal with this right now. I do not need you here right now.” He pauses for a moment before adding. “That is why Lucille is always here. She knows about it, she knows what to do, she knows how to help me through it.. not because I am in love with her..”

Lucas feels tears pooling in his eyes. He feels like the worst human being to ever exist. How could he have thought any of those things about someone as gentle as Eliott.

“Please leave.” Eliott repeats and Lucas simply nods.

He heads to the door and stops to cast one quick glance back to Eliott who isn’t even looking at him. He swings the door open and steps out, dragging his feet behind him as he walks. He cannot feel anything. He feels so numb right now. He cannot even hear the voices around him. Everything is a blur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: lucas-eliot.tumblr.com


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat shorter chapter but a much-needed one!

When Lucas got home after his little visit to Eliott where he made a complete ass of himself, he locked himself in his bedroom. He wouldn’t come out or let anyone in. He would only sneak out to grab food when no one was around then he would go crawl back under his blanket and listen to sad emo music. He’d gotten to that point. He just hates himself for the way he handled things with Eliott. He could have remained calm and spoken to Eliott like a normal human being but no, he had to say stupid shit.

It’s been two days since his outburst at Eliott. Lucas was supposed to go to school this morning but he chose to skip in order to decrease his chances of running into Eliott. The boy feels embarrassed and stupid and like the worst human ever. He made so many assumptions about Eliott and didn’t even let him speak for himself. He wants to go apologize but he truly has no clue how to go about it. He can’t just show up at Eliott’s place and be like I AM SORRY FORGIVE ME FOR MY IDIOCY. Well, he can but that would be a stupid thing to do.

It’s late noon on Monday when there is a knock on his door accompanied by the sweet voice of Manon. Lucas decides that it’s time to ask for help, or to at least speak to someone about all of this. Manon is the only person he wants to talk to right now. Her presence is so soothing to him, almost as soothing as Eliott’s, almost. But it’s different at the same time. With Eliott, he feels like he’s home where he’s safe and sound. With Manon, it feels like talking to an older sister who takes up the mantel of the mother when the mother isn’t around. Lucas rolls out of bed and lands on his feet. He grabs the blanket and wraps it around his shoulders as he saunters toward the bedroom door. He hesitates for a moment then unlocks the door and swings it open. Manon only gives him a sympathetic look and he breaks down. Like completely break down, tears pouring down his cheeks, sobbing and looking like a mess. Some might call it ugly crying.

Manon tugs him for a hug, her arms enveloping him into her chest, her hand on the back of his head, stroking his hair. “Let’s go sit on the bed yeah?” She asks in a warm tone and Lucas nods while she gently pulls him along with her toward the bed where she sits him down and tucks the blanket around him before she joins him, snaking her arms around him and pulling him back into her chest. It feels like a mother cradling her sick child. “Breathe okay..?” She speaks softly and Lucas just nods. “Can you tell me what happened?” She asks while stroking his hair. He looks up to her and pouts.

“I did a stupid thing..” He finally speaks out, his voice hoarse. “Remember when I was gonna go to Eliott?” She nods and he carries on, stuttering. “Well, I said really stupid things..” His voice trails off as more tears stream down his cheeks. He doesn’t really know to tell the story without crying like a little baby. He just cannot stop crying. The tears come flowing. It’s like a goddamn river.

Mika seems to hear them because soon he is on the bed as well. Lucas is now in a sandwich between Mika and Manon who are both holding him and having tugging wars, both of them wanting to pull him closer and the other not letting. It kind of reminds him of when he was hogging the blanket at Eliott’s. Eliott would try to pull more of it over him and Lucas would just tug it right back and this silly memory has him crying again.

“Kitten.. please talk to us..” Mika speaks, rubbing his palm up and down Lucas’ arm. “Just tell us what happened and maybe we can help you.. somehow.”

Lucas inhales deeply in order to be able to speak without it coming off as gibberish. “Eliott.. he.. Well..” He gulps a lump down his throat and continues. “A while back, he was here with me in the room.. we were talking and he asked me if I would ever tell my parents about us and I said that I will and one thing led to another and I said something about not needing crazy people in my life… he left after that and we didn’t talk for a day or two then when I texted him he asked for space.. so I waited two weeks before going to him and when I went there his ex was there so.. I got mad…” He sobs and tries to compose himself to continue speaking. “I said stupid shit like I don’t need people like him in my life and then he told me that he’s bipolar… that he asked for space for me because I didn’t him in my life… that his ex is only there because she knows how to help him through it… I didn’t mean it.. I swear.. I didn’t mean what I said… I didn’t know he was bipolar. I never would have said such stupid things..” And he’s back to sobbing.

“Lucas..” Manon sighs softly and tugs him in for a tighter hug. “You didn’t say anything on purpose.. Yes, the things might have hit him harder than you would have expected. You couldn’t have known..”

“No. I’m an idiot! I shouldn’t.. I shouldn’t have..” He can’t even finish the sentence because he is crying so much. He’s bottled things up for years and now he is crying for more than just one thing. Everything is coming out at once.

“Kitten, don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? There’s no way that you would have said hurtful things to Eliott on purpose. I am sure he knows it.” Mika speaks in a reassuring tone. One that is not doing much in helping Lucas feel better. “Just try to talk to him.”

Lucas is shaking his head no. “He hates me now. He won’t want to see me.” He wipes his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. God. This is embarrassing. He has turned into one of those people who completely fall apart over a relationship. He always thought it was weird people got so heartbroken because when one relationship ends, another can begin but now, now he gets it. He doesn’t want another relationship. He doesn’t want someone else. He wants Eliott. Period.

“That couldn’t be further away from the truth.” Mika states and straightens himself up on the bed. “You could see it in his eyes and your eyes. Just, try to talk to him whenever he feels ready for it.”

Manon agrees with Mika’s suggestion. “Yes. We all saw how you two looked at each other in class. How you were together. Even before you told us. It was clear just how much you two were into each other.”

Lucas looks from Manon to Mika then back to his lap. “Do you think that he will want to see me or even talk to me though?” He is fiddling with his thumbs. A habit of his whenever he’s anxious. “I wouldn’t even know how to talk to him.. where to begin.”

“Well,” Manon starts. “You begin by asking him to talk to you then you apologize for what you said that caused him pain then see where the conversation takes you from there.”

“Wait a minute.. before you go around asking him to talk to you.. you need to consider something.” Mika interjects. “How much do you know about bipolarity? Would you be okay with being in a relationship with someone who is bipolar? Can you be certain that you will be able to handle the bad moments? Because it is important, Lucas. You can’t promise him one thing then change your mind. It wouldn’t be fair to him. So, before you go to talk to him. Do some research, think about it all then when you know for sure what you want, contact him.”

Lucas hadn’t considered all of this. His knowledge about bipolar disorder is limited, practically nonexistent. He knows it won’t change how he feels about Eliott but he needs to at least learn more about it. He doesn’t really know what it is or how it can affect Eliott.  Mika is correct. He needs to think this through and know what he wants to say to Eliott before approaching him. He wouldn’t want to go to Eliott and end up saying more stupid shit that will make things worse for them. This is an important topic and he needs to approach it with care.

“Okay?” Mika asks and Lucas nods. He’s finally stopped crying and now both Mika and Manon are back to hugging him. Both of them have their head on either one of his shoulders.

“Thank you…” Whispers Lucas and they just hug him tight, rendering him immobile. Lisa peeks from the door and when she seems them all participating in what looks like a cuddle fest, she jumps right on the bed and joins in. she has no clue what they were talking about or why they’re cuddling but she wanted to be part of it. It earns a smile from Lucas. She is sweet, when she wants to be.

“You know what would be fun?” Manon asks, catching the boys’ and Lisa’s attention. “If we invite all of our friends and have a movie night! We can make popcorn and order pizza. It might be fun. We never hang out anymore. Not all of us together. The boys and the girls. It might be fun” It does sound like an appealing idea so Lucas immediately nods in approval. He needs the distraction and it would be amazing, getting to hang out with all of his friends.

“That sounds fun!” Lisa agrees and everyone looks at her with utter shock. Lisa thinks something is going to be fun? She’s always locked up in her bedroom and they never hear from her so this comes as a shock to them all. “What?!” She asks, offended. “I do find things fun. I am not a robot!” She pouts and they all awh at the same time before pulling her close for a hug.

“Then it’s settled. We are going to invite everyone!” Manon exclaims. She sounds so excited. “Lucas, you are in charge of picking three movies that we later end up choosing one from. Mika, you get us drinks and Lisa, just help me out with everything.”

The boy and girl squad alike were both so excited for the idea. They used to all hang out together but somehow they drifted off but now it’s their chance to reconnect again. They make a lot of popcorn, order pizza and fries. They eat and drink and have a good time together. It was definitely something Lucas needed. Being around his friends made him feel somewhat better. Everything that happened with Eliott had him thinking about his mother and how he’s been ignoring her for so long. So, he decides to text her. He needs to make amends with her. He hasn’t been the best son. He hasn’t been the best person but now he’s going to make things better or at least try to. Starting with his mother.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer chapter. I feel proud of it for some reason!  
> Hope you like!  
> Leave a kudo/comment.

It’s easy to go about your life ignoring the things that upset you or things that you are afraid of facing. But at some point, you have to put your big boy pants on and face whatever life throws at you. Lucas spent most of his life avoiding confrontation. He avoided confronting his ass-of-a-father who doesn’t even acknowledge his existence. He avoided confronting his mother and actually spending time with her because he was afraid of facing her after having not spoken to her or seen her in months. And now he is avoiding confronting Eliott. Eliott didn’t necessarily do anything bad but Lucas just does not know how to go about speaking to him. He did a lot of research concerning bipolar disorder and learned as much as he could about it. But it’s different in real life. The things you read online might not apply to everyone. Each person goes through life differently which is why having bipolar disorder might be different for each person depending on them and their lives.

Lucas has a clear plan, a list of what he wants to do. First thing on the list is to go see his mother. He has not exactly been the son of the year. She deserves so much better than him if he’s being honest. She’s always reaching out to him and he ignores her. He remembers this one time, it was around Christmas, she wanted him to go to the mass with her so bad yet he declined her offer, declined the one thing she had asked of him in god knows how long. Since then, she’s tried to get to go to church with her, to go anywhere with her but he always comes up with some shitty excuse as to why he cannot. It’s shitty of him and there are not enough words that would do justice in explaining how guilty he feels for the way he treats her. In a way, he feels like he’s treated her like his father does and it makes him feel the worst human being ever. He always fought with his father for being an absolute asshole yet he has been sort of like him.

But no anymore. He’s going to start living his life the best he can, make things okay with the people he cares about.

Right now, it’s 16:00 on a Wednesday. After classes, he went to buy flowers and some baked goods from a bakery around the corner. It took him longer than expected but he wanted to get the perfect thing for his mother. It isn’t a way to buy her affection. He remembers when he was ill or upset as a kid, his mother would come knocking on the door with a cup of hot cocoa then she would sit by his side on the bed and hold him until everything was all better. He misses that. And he hopes that he can make things better. That his mother will forgive him. Although he will not blame her if she doesn’t. His mother lives all the way on the other end of the city which takes a long time to arrive. He hopes that the chocolate muffins and croissants he bought won’t be too cold when he gets there. It’s a rather chilly day. His mother lives in a small apartment on her own. Well, not on her own, she has a nurse that comes in everyday and spends time with her, takes her out, takes care of her. It’s been a long time since he’s been there but here is, standing in front of the door, nervous as fuck, hands shaky. He inhales deeply and rings the doorbell. It doesn’t take long for the door to be opened but it’s not his mother who opens it, it’s Nadine the nurse who takes care of his mother. She looks surprised to see him there.

“Lucas,” She exclaims. “I didn’t know you were coming.” His mother probably forgot to tell her that he might be showing up.

“Yeah, sorry. I texted my mom and she said I can come Wednesday or Thursday but I guess I never really specified when.” He explains.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re here! Your mother is going to be so happy to see you.” She says. Will she thought? Be happy? He hasn’t been that nice to her. “Come on in!” She steps aside, letting Lucas in. “Your mom is in the living room.” He nods and heads straight to the living room. Taking a few deep breaths in.

“Mom..?” His voice is suddenly so small, like a child who is scared of getting into trouble.

“Lucas?” She asks and for a moment he thinks that she looks upset or disappointed to see, ready to bolt out but then a wide grin splits across her face and eases his nerves. He’s missed his mother so much. “My boy,” She gets up from the couch and saunters toward him, throwing her arms up and he, without a second thought, leaves the items in his hands aside and hugs into her embrace. It feels good and warm and calming and just the best. He wraps his arms around her waist and holds onto her tightly, eyes starting to go red as he just feels like he’s about to burst into tears. He’s missed her so damn much. He didn’t realize how much until now that he’s in her warm, kind embrace.

“I missed you, mama..” He whispers into her shoulders and one of her hands comes up to stroke over his hair, soothing him immediately, all of the heartache diminishing from his body. It makes him happy knowing that she isn’t so angry with him. He didn’t really think she would be because his mother might as well be the most genuine, loving person ever but still, he was crappy to her.

“I missed you too, baby.” She holds him for a few more moments before drawing back in order to have a proper look at him, her hands settling over his shoulders, one of them moving up to stroke his hair out of his sight. “You let your hair grow, it looks good on you.” Has it really been that long? She hasn’t seen him since his hair was short? It just makes him feel worse.

“Thanks ma..” He doesn’t know how to get to the point of apologizing so he decides to take things slow. “How have you been?” He asks. He is genuinely curious. He has not seen her in what feels like a lifetime. She looks like she is doing well though which makes him happy. Last time he saw her she definitely was not in the best of shapes.

“Good. I have been very good.” Her hand comes up to his cheek to give it a gentle pinch before she gestures for him to follow her. “Come, let’s sit down.” They walk toward the couch and take a seat side by side but turned to be facing each other. “What about you, baby? How’s life been treating you?” He doesn’t really know how to answer this. Life was treating him well but he was the one treating life and the people he met like shit.

“Alright, I suppose…” She knows that there is something on his mind that he isn’t saying because she gives him this mom-look. The look of knowing. The look of waiting for an explanation. Truth be told, he’s always been afraid of coming out to her. His father knows but he didn’t let Lucas come out to her, he’d say stuff like ‘she won’t handle it’ or ‘You know how she gets’. He does want to tell her and he will but not right now. First, he wants to apologize for being a crappy son. “I’m sorry..” he utters and she looks confused like she doesn’t know why he’s apologizing. “I know.. I know that..” He takes a pause because he’d begun to stutter and his mother, like the kind angel she is, she touches his hand with hers like telling him it’s okay, that’s he’s okay. “I’m sorry for being a crappy son.” He finally states. “I have left you alone for so long.. you don’t deserve any of it… I haven’t been nice to you and.. I hate myself for it.. I feel like I’m turning into dad and I don’t want that… I’m so.. so beyond sorry for being the shittiest son ever.. I have no excuses for it…” A tear slips down his cheek and she wipes it away, her touch so soothing which makes more tear spill down his eyes.

“Baby..” She almost whispers, asking for his attention because he wasn’t really looking at her. She waits until he lifts his chin up and their eyes meet before she continues. “It’s okay… I know that me and your father have not given you the best childhood or life.. You’ve had to grow up so quickly and I am sorry for that.. You too deserved better than us. You’re a wonderful kid.” Lucas is shaking his head, tears now streaming down his cheeks.

“Don’t say that. You’ve been the best mother anyone could ask for.. I just took you for granted and I am truly sorry for that.” She brings both her hands up to hold his face, wiping at his cheeks. “I’m really so sorry, mama..” She locks her arms around his neck and brings him in for another tight hug and that just breaks him and he begins to sob. It feels like that this has been everything that he’s been doing lately: sobbing.

“It’s okay baby..” He cries and cries and cries. At some point his mother begins to cry as well, not as hard as he is but still. They just sit on the couch and hold each other and cry until they both feel better. Until they've both of gotten rid of all the achiness and negative feelings. They indulge into the baked goods that Lucas had brought afterward. Chocolate muffins were always his mother’s favorites so he had to get them and she was so happy when she opened the bag and saw them. They talk about school and his friends and roommates. He tells her about how Mika and Manon take care of him and are always there. How they wait until he’s home whenever he’s late then give him a lecture about it. His mother seems so happy, she listens to every single little word that he says, she laughs and makes little jokes. She is also happy that Lucas has surrounded himself with people who love him so much, who are always there for him no matter what. She is happy that he’s finally happy. They spend hours upon hour just talking and catching up. Neither of them really pays attention to the clock or how late it’s gotten. At some point even Nadine leaves and they remain there on the couch. Lucas had missed talking to his mother. As a kid, whenever he wanted something or had something to share, he would always go to his mother first then his dad. They just have this great bond. Plus, she is so understanding and loving. He just missed her presence in his life. So, he decides to never again go this long on without seeing her.

When Lucas checks on the clock, it’s 22:00. He needs to get home because it’s a school night and the trip back to his place takes a long time. He wants to get up and leave but there is still something that he has not shared with his mother. Something very big and important.

“Mom…?” He asks in a timid tone. She looks up at him and hums. His eyes are glued to his shoes, he seems to do this a lot whenever he’s nervous or scared. When he looks up at her, she has an encouraging smile plastered upon her face like telling him it’s okay, that he shouldn’t be so scared, that she loves him. He Inhales deeply and murmurs in a small voice. “I just wanted to tell you something.. I hope it doesn’t change the way you feel about me… or upset you or hurt you because that would be the last thing I want.. I just –” He breathes out shakily. “I’m gay.” And there’s silence. Torturous silence. It feels like no one has said a word for minutes but maybe that’s just Lucas and it’s only been a few seconds. He is ready to for his mother to be disappointed and never want to see him again but then – She cradles the side of his head and smiles.

“My son… I love you. I will always love you. Unconditionally. In no way am I hurt or upset or disappointed..” She tilts her head to the side and carries on “On the contrary, I am so proud of you.” This has Lucas crying again. You would think that after a certain amount of time, one would get dehydrated, like there would be no more tears left to cry but here is again for the millionth time. His mother wipes his tears away gently before asking. “Does this mean you have someone special in your life?” She sounds so excited and he doesn’t know what to say because yes he did have someone special in his life but he ruined it.

“Well.. it.. it’s complicated.” His voice is muffled by the sobs. He hasn’t looked at himself in the mirror but he’s sure that he looks like a damn tomato right now. “There was this guy… Eliott.. Mom.. he—he was perfect.. He was so good and I was an idiot..” Lucas proceeds to tell her his story with Eliott. How they met, how they got together, how Eliott suddenly asked for space and then how Lucas said some stupid shit that ruined everything before he found out that Eliott is bipolar, how Eliott asked him to leave and how hurt he looked. Having to tell the story again, to relive it again, it makes him want to cry even more, it makes his entire body ache. He tells his mother everything and when he’s done, she just sighs and hugs him one more time.

“Lucas.. baby.. I know it feels like it’s the end of everything but it’s not… You spoke out of anger and ignorance and that is okay, we all make mistakes.” Her palm moves up and down his back. “Just wait until Eliott is ready to talk and talk to him.” Lucas pulls a bit back to have a proper look at his mother.

“But he hates me now..” He states and more tears spill out at those words. He brings his hand up to wipe at the tears. “He wouldn’t want to see me. I was a jerk to him.”

“Yes, but he hurt you too.. sure he thought he would be protecting you but.. it’s not an ideal situation.. you both are young and made some mistakes.. ones that can be fixed by communication.” His mother states. “Just be sure that Eliott wants to talk to you.. that he’s ready for it.. don’t push him to do things he doesn’t want to do.. He will come to you eventually.. take it day by day…”

“You think there’s a chance..?” Lucas’ voice is so small and hollow.

“Of course there is! Trying is better than doing nothing. If you never try then you’ll never know.” She notes and he nods in agreement. Everyone seems to agree that all they need to do is talk. Manon said so. Mika said so. Yann and his friends said so. And now even his mother is saying it. So, he’s going for it. He’s going to try and talk to Eliott.

Lucas spends another 30 minutes at his mom’s before he has to leave. They hug once more and hold onto each other. They both seem to be doing even better now that they’ve actually gotten to spend time together and talk. Lucas leaves feeling happy and at ease.

* * *

It’s Friday 18:03. The gang is at Lucas’ place. They’d made plans to hang out here tonight. Manon was going away to a cabin with the girls because next week they’re free of school. Mika was out on a date with this new guy he has been seeing and Lisa was shockingly with Manon and the girls. The apartment was empty and Lucas doesn’t like being alone, he hates it, so he’d asked the guys to come over. Arthur and Yann were engaged in a round of Tekken which is a fighting game where you basically choose your avatar then you fight with each other until someone wins. So far, Arthur is kicking Yann’s ass. Basile is watching with a bowl of popcorn in his lap, teasing and laughing at Yann every time he gets hit.  And then we have Lucas. Lucas is sitting on the window seat, half watching the screen and half watching the snow outside. It was a really, really cold and snowy day. The streets are absolutely filled with layers and layers of snow. It looks so beautiful. There aren’t many people walking about the streets either so there are not that many footprints smudging the snow and making it look ugly. It kind of looks like you’re staring at a beautiful painting.

It’s been two days since Lucas contacted Eliott and he still has not received anything back from the older boy. He’s tried to call him, leave voicemails and then resorted to texting him. He made sure to tell Eliott that he really wishes to speak to him whenever Eliott felt ready and comfortable with it. He made sure to not sound pushy even though, he’s called and texted and left voice mails. But to be honest that just makes him look desperate and not pushy. It’s not like he wants to force Eliott to be with him, he just wants to at least have one last time where he can apologize for being an ass then say goodbye if that what Eliott wants.

Lucas is too lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear Yann calling out to him not until he feels a small object hitting him on his cheek which when he looks to said object, he realizes it’s popcorn. He glares at his friends, mostly Basile because he’s sure he’s the one who threw it at him. They made him lose his train of thoughts. Though it mostly was just: Eliott, Eliott, Eliott, and Eliott.

“You good dude?” Asks Yann after pausing the game. All three boys are looking at him now, waiting for an answer. They probably noticed how distracted he was and decided to check upon him. Lucas nods with his head slowly.

“Yeah, I suppose.. I was just thinking.” He responds in a low tone and his friends keep staring him like they want him to talk more about whatever he’s thinking of. “It’s about Eliott. I just wish he would let me talk to him, you know?”

“Yeah, but you can’t just spend the rest of your life waiting on him. If he talks to you then cool. If not well then also cool. It would be his lost though.” Yann interjects and Arthur agrees.

“Yes, just don’t spend the rest of your life waiting.” Arthur says and Lucas nods. He knows he cannot just keep waiting but he can’t help it. He just wants at least one more conversation with Eliott. Just one is all he asks for.

As if on cue, his phone vibrates in his pocket and when fishes it out. Eliott’s name is blaring on the screen and Lucas is about to shit his pants. His hands begin to tremble so bad that it takes him so long to actually unlock his phone and tap on his chat with Eliott.

“Eliott is coming.” He declares and before anyone can respond, someone is buzzing the doorbell and they all freeze. It’s so snowy outside that it’s difficult to actually see properly so Lucas sticks his head out of the window and recognizes who is at the door by their slanky, model-looking kind of figure. Eliott. “Oh my god! He’s actually here already!!” Lucas shuts the window and basically jumps out of the seat, tripping over his own legs and almost falling over.

“What?!” Arthur and the guys are so shocked and Yann is the first one to jump to his feet. “Okay, we’re gonna leave!” He tugs Arthur and Basile to their feet and they are all confused as to how they can leave without running into Eliott on the way. “We can walk up the stairs and wait until he comes in the leave?” Yann suggests and everyone agrees. They basically run around like idiots, gathering their shit while Lucas lets Eliott in. When the boys leave, the head up the stairs immediately and Lucas takes the few moments he has alone to check himself in the mirror and make sure he is at least looking somewhat decent.

There’s a gentle knock on the door. One that causes Lucas’ heart to skip a beat. He’s breathing so heavily. This is nerve-wracking. His legs feel like jelly as he heads toward the door. His mind racing a mile a minute. He inhales deeply before swinging the door open. The most beautiful creature he’s ever laid his eyes on is standing there.

“Hi…” Lucas whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO BE CONTINUED!  
> Follow me on tumblr: lucas-eliot.tumblr.com


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we are getting close to the end of this story.  
> This is not the last chapter. I am posting at least two/three more.  
> I have a concept for another fic after this one ends but it will be so different. I am still unsure of it but we shall see what happens!

“Hi..” whispers Lucas, looking ahead at the beautiful man standing in front of him. He’d almost forgotten how good looking Eliott is in person. He’s the kind of person who emanates light. A light that utterly consumes you. He’s the kind of person who makes you forget how to speak. Eliott’s hair is covered with an ocean blue beanie which Lucas recognizes to be his own. He’d left it at Eliott’s place after a night of intense cuddling. The beanie is causing his gray-blue eyes to pop, making them look like two twinkling blue diamonds.

“Hi, Lucas..” His voice is smooth but there is a hint of something else in it as well. Maybe exhaustion? He looks better than the last time Lucas saw him but he still has dark circles around his eyes, his shoulders hunched up making him look even smaller and younger. Lucas steps aside.

“Come in..” Lucas is surprised by the fact that he hasn’t stuttered once. But then again, he’d barely said three words. Eliott takes a small step forward, entering the apartment and Lucas gestures for him to follow so he does. He follows Lucas into the living room which still looks messy, there’s popcorn over the sofa and beer bottles sprawled across the coffee table. It is clear that there were other people present here but Eliott doesn’t ask. In fact, he is being so quiet which is unsettling. Eliott was always the first one to speak, to break the awkward silence. “Eliott—” Lucas begins but is interrupted by the loud noises outside of the apartment which he recognizes as the voices of his friends who are trying to be silent but he can clearly hear Basile and Arthur bickering.

“Sorry for not telling you earlier that I was coming over.” Eliott finally speaks after many moments of silence. Lucas was beginning to think he’d lost his voice or something. “I was just… I was sitting in my room and suddenly decided to come see you.. I hope I didn’t ruin your plans or anything.” Lucas was shaking his head before the older boy even had finished the sentence.

“Not at all.. I was so happy when I heard from you..” He responds honestly, running his tongue along his dry bottom lip to moisten it. “Can we sit down?” He asks as if he is a stranger in this place and needs Eliott’s permission but the older boy nods and they plop down onto the sofa. Eliott is sitting on the far end of the sofa as if he is afraid of invading Lucas’ personal space. He strips off the beanie, his hair practically bouncing up. It is rather entertaining how his hair always seems to be so fluffy and bouncy. Lucas has to hold himself back and not reach out to stroke it. Eliott then proceeds to remove the scarf he had around his neck and shrug his jacket off, nestling them neatly on the arm of the sofa.

“I’m sorry…” Lucas blurts out and the older boy’s head whips up, confusion written all over his face. He looks like he does not know why Lucas is apologizing. “I know that what I said hurt you and trust me, in no way was that my intention.. I—I..” Well, he comes the stuttering. “I didn’t know what I was saying.. I was angry and didn’t think of how my words could affect you.” Eliott holds up a hand to stop him.

“Lucas..” He sighs. “You do not have to apologize for anything.” It is Lucas’ turn to be confused as fuck. “There’s no way that you could have known that I was bipolar. It was my fault for not telling you earlier.” He states and tears his gaze away from the smaller boy. “I just.. I didn’t want to lose you..” That last sentence is spoken in barely a whisper, his voice is so small like he’s ashamed or upset with himself.

“I didn’t know that’s true but.. I made a lot of assumption about you and Lucille and I—I should have given you the opportunity to speak for yourself, to explain everything before I opened my big mouth.” Lucas notes and scoots the tiniest bit closer to Eliott who scoffs faintly.

“I guess we both could have communicated better, eh?” He asks, lifting his gaze up to meet Lucas’. They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, like they’re looking into one another’s soul. Eliott still looks like he has a lot on his mind which is understandable. Lucas himself has millions of questions that he would like to ask but is waiting for the right moment to ask them. He doesn’t want to make Eliott feel uncomfortable or bombard him with questions. “How have you been though?” He asks nervously whilst toying with the sleeve of his shirt.

“I have been alright. I went to see my mom and things are much better between us now.. I also came out to all my friends and family.” Eliott has a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he listens to Lucas. He looks proud of Lucas for taking charge of his life. “I missed you though..” Lucas adds, wanting to make sure Eliott knew that he hadn’t stopped thinking about him. Yes, things are better with his family and friends but Eliott is still a vital part of his life. For a few long moments, Eliott is silent, staring at the wall ahead of him.

“I am happy for you—proud even – for coming out and taking charge of your life.” He finally speaks, not looking away from the wall. His expressions seem to have shifted to something more serious and at the same time, sad. “But you’re better off without me, Lucas.. I’ll only drag you down.” Lucas is staring intensely at Eliott, brows furrowed but the older boy doesn’t spare a glance his way.

Lucas moves closer to Eliott on the couch and thankfully, the older boy doesn’t move away. Though his eyes are still glued to the wall. “Eli..” Lucas whispers. “Don’t say that..” He touches his hand with Eliott’s and the older boy flinches slightly. “I want to be with you.” Lucas can see the tears welling in the other boy’s eyes, he is doing his best to not let them fall.

“It’s only the truth. I’ll make your life a living hell. You’ll end up hating me.” Eliott’s voice is barely audible. “Your life would be much easier and happier without me in it.”

“Yeah, it might be easier but in no way would it be happier, Eli..” The older boy finally, after what feels like a lifetime, turns his head toward Lucas. Even now, he is avoiding Lucas’ gaze. “Look, I don’t know much about bipolar disorder. I tried to learn about it. I did a lot of research online but I figured that what I read online might not apply to you but I want you to talk to me about me, if you feel comfortable with that… it will not change how I feel for you, Eliott.. nothing can ever change my feelings for you.”

“Why..?” He asks and when he notices the bewilderment in the younger boy’s face, he carries on. “Why do you feel that for me..? I am not deserving of it.” This has Lucas feeling upset again but only because Eliott is so oblivious to how wonderful he is.

“Because you are my dream come true,” It sounds so cheesy and corny but who cares? “Eliott.. you.. I can never find the right words to describe you but the closest description I have of you is that you are sunshine in human form.” This earns a small, odd smile from Eliott who obviously finds those words so completely ridiculous. “I don’t just like you.. I admire you. I admire how good and kind and genuine you are. How you fall in love with every single little thing even if it’s a door knob.” Lucas chuckles slightly and moves closer until only a couple of inches were separating him from Eliott. He reaches out carefully and cradles the older boy’s head in his hands, tilting his head up until their eyes lock. “You make this world a more tolerable, more bright place just by existing, by being yourself.” The tears clinging to Eliott's eyes begin rolling down his cheeks. Lucas never knew it is possible to look beautiful even when you cry yet here is Eliott, living proof of that.

“You—You have not seen me at my worst, Lucas..” He almost sobs, shaking his head. “You know, I don’t want this change. But it will and it will be because of me.” He stops to gulp a lump down his throat, it’s like talking is taking so much energy out of him. “That’s why I left.. I was scared.. I didn’t want the way you look at me to change. I didn’t want to hurt you or scare you.. but I will, you know somedays I will be excited for nothing, somedays I will fight with you and blame you over nothing.. Sometimes I spend a week, if not more, in bed. I’ll shout you, I’ll leave and not respond to your texts, I’ll ruin your life..”

“So?” Lucas asks, tipping his head to the side, trying to capture Eliott’s gaze with his own. “I’ll shout at you too. I’ll slam the door on your face. I’ll ignore you. I’ll stay stupid stuff. I’ll do things that will upset and hurt you too and I am not even bipolar.”

“That has nothing to do with it.”

“So what?” Lucas asks and Eliott finally meets his gaze. “So what? You will have to deal with my annoying ass as well. And I am telling you from now, I can be pretty annoying sometimes especially if I am not getting enough cuddles.” He tries to joke in order to lighten the mood and thankfully, it seems to work because Eliott has a tiny smile playing about his lips. “So, yeah. We’ll see. Those things might happen but we will cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?” Lucas asks. “I’d rather be upset with you than not have you in my life at all.” Eliott is sniffling, tears staining his cheeks. He is silent, like there is still a bit of doubt in his mind. Just then, Lucas remembers his mother’s words about taking things day by day. “You know what?” He asks and Eliott looks up at him. “From now on, we will take things day by day, okay? Wait no, even better—” he pauses. “We will take things minute by minute.” Eliott is nodding now, finally convinced.

“What are we going to do in this minute?” He asks curiously and Lucas lifts his shoulders up in a shrug, brushing his thumbs across the older boy’s cheeks and wiping the tears away.

“We can do whatever we want. Like for example, we can kiss.” A cheeky sort of grin rolls over Lucas’ lips and Eliott giggles, shaking his head at how dorky Lucas is. “I mean.. it’s pretty cold today and my lips are therefore cold and in need of some warmth."

“Ah ouias?” The tears are finally leaving Eliott’s beautiful blue eyes. “I mean, I think I know of a way to warm your lips up, hm.” He moves somewhat closer to Lucas, closing the distance between them before sneakily reaching down, grabbing his scarf from where he’d left it on the floor and coiling said scarf around Lucas’ neck, making sure it covers his mouth. “There. All better.” His expressions devilish as he stares at the younger boy. This move earns him a slap on the shoulder from Lucas.

“That is not what I asked for!” He states dramatically before getting up from the couch but before he is able to make a move, Eliott is grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him back down. He falls into the older’s boy chest and is enveloped by the warmth of his embrace. It feels like after a very long trip, he’s finally home where he belongs. Where it’s warm and safe. The smell of smoke and cigarettes is mixed with the smell of coffee and cologne. And god, it smells exactly like Lucas’ own personal heaven would. He buries his face in the spot where Eliott’s shoulder and neck meet, depositing lovely little pecks onto the older boy’s skin.

“Thank you..” Eliott whispers, lips pressed to Lucas’ ear. The feeling of the older boy’s warm breath sends shivers down his back. “Thank you for.. not leaving..” Eliott continues.

“Thank you for trusting me with your heart.” Lucas whispers before lifting his head up, poking Eliott’s chin with the tip of his nose. “My raccoon. You are so beautiful.” Lucas’s words earn him a laugh from Eliott. “You’re beautiful when you laugh.” He adds and Eliott just grabs his cheeks and squishes their faces together, lips crashing in a longing kiss. The scarf around the small boy’s neck is getting in the way of their lips so he grumpily tugs at it. He feels Eliott grinning against his lips before he takes it upon himself to easily remove the scarf and toss it on the floor.

Lucas climbs further up until he is straddling Eliott, his bum settling onto the older boy’s lap. The kiss deepens with each passing moment until both of the boys are panting for breath but neither pulling away. Their chests rising and falling heavily. Eliott’s hands move down from the small of Lucas’ back, finding his ass cheeks, giving them a gentle squeeze. This merits the older boy an unexpected yelp. This is the first time anyone does that to Lucas and it took him by surprise. Eliott can’t hold back a babble of laughter from escaping the back of his throat.

“You’re cute..” He whispers, his lips not leaving Lucas’ who in return opens his eyes to glare at the older boy through narrowed eyes.

“Shut up.” His cheeks feel flaming hot, he knows he is blushing but still tries to maintain the glare which only causes the older boy to laugh more. “Stop it, Eliott!” He smacks the boy on his chest and tries to escape his hold but Eliott is too strong. He flicks Lucas on his back and hovers on top of him, hands resting on either side of the boy’s head.

“You’re my dream come true too..” He whispers and plants a peck on the tip of Lucas’ nose. Lucas in return turns his head to the side and starts leaving a trail of tender, slow kisses up Eliott’s arm to his shoulder, neck, then move down his throat. He wants to mark every inch of the boy’s skin with lips, make sure he knows that every inch of him is beautiful and loved.

“You’re so cheesy.” Lucas playfully whispers against Eliott’s throat. His hands slide down the boy’s strong chest and stomach, stopping by the hem of his sweater which with shaky hands, he rolls up until it is gone, no longer obstructing Eliott’s beautiful body. Lucas has found himself fascinated with everything Eliott. His hair, his skin, his face, his eyes, his lips, his chest, his throat, his voice. Everything. He leans up and presses a kiss on Eliott’s small chest tattoo, brushing his lips lower and lower until he finds his stomach. Another fascinating thing about Eliott is how tickly he gets when his stomach is being kissed so, without a warning, Lucas peppers kisses over the boy’s stomach who starts giggling like he’s a child at that action.

* * *

Lucas and Eliott spend hours making out on the couch. They don’t bother going to the bedroom because sometime during those hours, Lucas had received a text from Mika letting him know that he won’t be coming home tonight.

Every time they got rid of a piece of clothing, they’d just throw it somewhere across the room so now their clothes are sprawled all over the living room floor. Their lips are swollen and red from the constant making out, it was like they couldn’t bear pulling away for a second, like the only way to breathe was through each other’s mouths.

After they both gather enough strength to break the kiss, it was late and Lucas was hungry so he’d wanted to order some food but Eliott didn’t let him. He wanted to cook. Despite Lucas’ many, many objections on the grounds that he did not want to die from food poisoning, the older boy refused. He ended up cooking pasta for them which tasted okay. Well, it didn’t taste like anything. It was tasteless. It was the first time anyone was able to make food that was completely tasteless but it was still better than the grilled cheese sandwiches Eliott had made the first time they hung out.

The boys spend the rest of the night on the couch, alternating between kissing, cuddling and feeding each other strawberries and what have you. Whenever they needed to breathe and pulled away from the other’s lips, they talked, opened up to about their lives. Lucas told Eliott about everything that’s happened with his family which the older boy already was aware of from the first night they’d met. Lucas, in his drunk state, had spilled everything that night. Eliott also opened up about his family, apparently his parents are on the road or at work most of the time which is why he is alone in that big apartment. They also talk about Lucille, about how she became more of a babysitter than a girlfriend, how that affected their relationship. Lucas takes note of that, making sure to remember not to treat Eliott like he’s a child and giving him his space when needed.

Eliott shared his personal, super secret - but also not very secret - Instagram account. Lucas was surprised to see how many of the drawings and posts were about him. Starting from the first time he'd fallen asleep on Eliott's shoulder. It was like Eliott's Instagram was a big fan page about Lucas. He'd drawn them sleeping next to each other, he'd drawn a sad raccoon watching a sad hedgehog from far away, he'd drawn their first time meeting when Lucas was drunk. He recognizes it because it was the only time he'd slept with his head in Eliott's lap; expect in the drawing, it was hedgehog laying with his head on a raccoon's lap. Another surprising thing, one that completely shocked Lucas to the core was how the only person Eliott followed was him. He felt like an absolute knucklehead for not having noticed Eliott's account before. But to be fair, Lucas never used Instagram before.

It was a night that neither of them wanted to end. It was a night they both were in desperate need of. Turns out, communication is key in everything. Neither of them was alone. Neither of them will be alone from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: lucas-eliot.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> Kudos/comments are highly appreciated!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last official chapter in the story.  
> However, I will post an extra chapter of the first night Lucas and Eliott met which be chapter 20 so be on the lookout for that one!

The past two weeks have been magical, to say the least. Ever since Lucas and Eliott opened up to each other, things have been going so smoothly. There are no more secrets between them, nothing to hold them back. There’s nothing but love and happiness and fondness and laughter and joy. Lucas has never been more grateful and happy with his life than he is right now. Waking up to Eliott’s beautiful sleeping face almost every morning feels surreal at times, like it’s a dream of some kind. Sometimes Lucas has to reach out and touch Eliott, feel his warm skin, listen to his deep breathing and the beating of his heart in order to fully believe that it’s real. Eliott is there with him, they are together, they are a couple – though they have not really discussed it and verbally made it official, it is pretty clear that they indeed are a couple.

It’s Wednesday morning at 9:00. Eliott’s parents had returned home so he was unable to stay over at Lucas’ which made the small boy very sad and grumpy, leaving his bed all empty and cold. He’s gotten so used to having Eliott by his side as his eyes flicker open, to use Eliott as his own personal blanket whenever it got cold. So, spending an entire night without Eliott’s gracious presence was almost torturous. Which is why the first thing Lucas does when he gets to school is look around for Eliott but the boy was nowhere to be seen. It isn’t until it’s time for their first break that Eliott shows up.

Lucas is walking with his friends down the hallway, bumping into passing students every so often. It is so crowded, people trying to get to the next class, people on their way to the lockers and some just standing there chatting. Lucas has to push past a couple that is busy making out whilst standing in the middle of the hall causing him to shudder. Apparently, the two people making out reminded Basile of a his most recent dream about Daphne, the guy will just not quit pursuing her even though she has made it clear that she is not interested in any kind of way in him. Lucas tries to pay attention to what his friend is saying but it is near impossible when he spots a familiar figure walking toward him. Said figure has a big, fluffy hair, their smile is nearly blinding and they have the most beautiful face in the history of beautiful faces. Eliott. The gang stops midway when Eliott reaches them and they all turn their gaze to Lucas for some reason. Are they waiting for the boys to kiss?? It takes him a moment to finally realize that he has not actually introduced Eliott as his boyfriend to the group. They kept trying to make plans but Eliott was busy catching up with all the schoolwork he’d missed during his two-week absence. Arthur clears his throat loud enough for Lucas to finally wake out of his thoughts.

“Hi..” His voice softens and all the boy's grin. He turns into such a softie around Eliott. it’s a side none of his friends have seen before.

“Hello to you too.” Eliott responds with a warm grin adorning his lips. He looks from Lucas to the boys then back to Lucas who steps closer to him and wraps an arm around the small of his waist.

“Well, guys, you know, Eliott.” He states, gazing up at his gorgeous boyfriend for a second then back to the boys. “Yeah, well, he is my boyfri-..” His voice is drowned by the screams and cheers of his friends causing his cheeks to flush red so, Eliott tugs him close and plants a kiss to his cheek. His friends are causing such a big scene and it is making him turn into a tomato. He gives them a pointed a look which they all seem to understand and they grow quiet.

“Sorry, dude. It’s just,” Basile begins. “Last time when you showed up, he kicked us out of the apartment into the cold snow because he wanted to be alone with you! But we finally get to see you in person and not through Lucas’ pics” The final sentence catches Eliott’s attention, he looks over to Lucas with a bashful smirk playing about his lips.

“You show my pictures to your friends?” He asks and Lucas just wants the ground to open up and swallow him. His cheeks feel so flaming hot and he doesn’t know what to do but blush which Eliott seems to adore oh so much because he leans in and pecks the tip of his nose. “How adorable.”

“Dude yes!” Arthur adds. “He like, talks about how his boyfriend is the most beautiful human being ever – which, we can’t argue there. But it’s adorable.” Are his friends trying to embarrass him on purpose? Because that is what it feels like right now and Lucas just keeps moving closer and closer to Eliott like a child who is shy and just wants to hide.

“Well, in all honesty, Lucas is the one who is the most beautiful human being ever. I mean one look in those blue eyes of his and I was gone.” Eliott interjects and the boys aw as they watch their friend turn redder and redder until it looks like his head is about to explode.

“Shut up.. please!” Lucas pleads and Eliott throws his arm over his shoulder, pulling him in to press a sweet smooch on his cheek. Nobody has ever called Lucas the most beautiful human being ever or talked about his eyes or anything. It makes him not only blush, but set his whole body on fire. He is so not used to getting compliments.

“Yeah, we should stop. If Lulu’s head turns any redder he might full-on explode.” Yann explains and everyone, including Eliott start laughing while Lucas just glares at them.

“Is this what’s going to be like from now on? You four against me? it’s not fair!” He almost pouts without even realizing it and Eliott has to lean in and kiss his bottom lip.

“I’ll always have your back, Lu.” Eliott whispers only to him and earns a big smile from the small boy. His friends turn away not to intrude on their moment before Yann is clearing his throat to get their attention.

“Anyway, we were planning on going to the park after class. You can join us if you want, Eliott.” Yann suggests. “We can tell you stories about Lucas that you cannot find anywhere else.” Eliott is grinning from ear to ear and Lucas has to admit, he does love seeing his boyfriend with his friends. Eliott seemed like such a loner, like he didn’t have anyone besides Lucille which is why probably spent so much time with her before Lucas. She and Eliott still talk from time to time, Lucas is not even worried about it anymore, he trusts Eliott with his life and he knows Eliott only wants him.

“That sounds great!” Eliott agrees. “I will only need to stop by the nurse first then we can all leave together after school” The school nurse has regular meetings with Eliott to check and make sure if he is doing okay, if he needs anything. It’s great how the school is willing to help out. They are not too harsh on him when he misses classes but they still give him the extra assignments and punishments.

Eliott joins Lucas and his friends for the break then the girl squad joins in as well. Everyone has their attention on Eliott. Somehow, no matter how many people are present, he still manages to get everyone’s attention without even trying to. He just has the charismatic, charming character that everyone seems to be drawn to. Daphne is constantly looking at Lucas and Eliott and awing every single time they do something as little as look at each other or smile. She might as well be their biggest fan at this point. Imane and Manon keep nudging her elbow, trying to get her to stop so she won’t make Eliott or Lucas uncomfortable. Eliott seems to be getting along so well with her because every time she mentions throwing a party or another gathering, he gives her ideas on what she could do to make the events more intriguing to others.

* * *

It’s almost time for the final class, literature, Lucas is walking hand in hand with Eliott when realization hits him like a brick. The assignment. The freaking assignment he and Eliott were supposed to do weeks ago, they didn’t do shit. The idea was that each pair had to create this short video of a story that they come up with together. It could be like a short story or a trailer of the story and he’d completely forgotten about it. Eliott seems to sense Lucas’ tenseness.

“You okay?” He asks and Lucas doesn’t hear him at first because he is internally freaking out about not having finished the assignment and he is trying very hard to come up with a believable excuse they can use that won’t get them in trouble. Eliott nudges his shoulder and Lucas looks up.

“We haven’t done anything.. for the assignment. It was supposed to be finished by today.” He states in a small voice, like he’s afraid that the teacher might be walking behind them and will hear what he’s saying. Eliott doesn’t seem concerned though, he just has a knowing smile on his face and that makes Lucas even more anxious. “Don’t look at me like that! We’re going to be in trouble!”

“Baby, don’t worry. I got you, okay?” What the hell does that mean? Lucas is looking up at his boyfriend through hooded eyes. He looks like he knows something which Lucas doesn’t and it is killing the small boy. He doesn’t like being in the dark.

“But what does that mea-..” His voice trails off when Eliott shushes him, placing his index over Lucas’ lips and stopping him from speaking.

“Trust me.” That is all Eliott has to say and Lucas is back to feeling fine. He does trust Eliott and if he says that they’ll be fine then they will be just fine. He nods slowly with his head and steps into the classroom where they go to sit on their usual spot which is almost all way in the back. They are free to hold hands under the table there without anything noticing.

The teacher walks in along with the rest of their classmates, including Alexia and Imane. Everyone takes a seat and listens to the teacher’s introduction. He talks about the assignment and its aims. Then the teacher proceeds to start with the videos immediately. There are plenty of students and they have to get on with the show otherwise they won't be able to watch everything.

Lucas’s leg is bouncing involuntarily up and down. He is still nervous. Almost all of the pairs have shown their final product and everyone did such a wonderful job. Most of the stories were cringy comedies because those are the easiest one to do. When everyone else is finished, the teacher looks over to Lucas and Eliott. Lucas doesn’t know what to say so he stays quiet but Eliott hops up to his feet and hands a flash drive over to the teacher.

“Sorry that we couldn’t hand it in sooner, I had some last-minute editing to do.” Eliott states before coming back to sit beside Lucas.

“That’s fine. As long as you have a finished product.” The teacher says while waiting for the video to buffer. Once it’s finally ready, he clicks on play.

The first thing that appears on the screen is the title ‘Polaris’ Lucas has no idea what to expect because he has no clue what Eliott has done. The story is told through drawings that Lucas’ realizes are made by Eliott. Lucas knew that Eliott is an artist but he has truly outdone himself with these drawings. He’s voicing the story over. Apparently, the story is about two characters and a tunnel. One of the characters is a guy and the second could be interpreted however you want, it could be a boy or a girl or even a creature. The second character is shown through drawings, it’s hiding in the dark tunnel because it’s scared of the light. And the hero of the story, the guy, he’s afraid of the dark which makes it impossible for the two characters to meet because they’re both afraid of each other’s world. One night, they start talking to each other at the border of their worlds without really seeing each other. From there, they start talking every day, getting to know each other, growing closer and closer with each passing day. They spend every day together and at some point, they realize that they’ve fallen in love without really seeing each other. It isn’t until they both gather enough courage to conquer their fears that they finally get to meet and hold each other.

Lucas is staring with wide eyes at the screen at the story being told, at the drawings being shown. It’s their story. It’s his and Eliott’s story. How they were both afraid of each other’s world. How they had to overcome their fears. How they fell in love without really seeing each other. Lucas’ vision is getting blurry from the tears pooling in them. Even the first time the characters meet and kiss is the same as their first kiss. Under the rain by the bridge. It is so beautiful that Lucas cannot help the tears that begin to slide down his cheeks. Thankfully, the lights in the classroom are turned off so no one can see him crying. He wipes at his cheeks quickly and continues to watch the screen, opened-mouthed and utterly awestruck. Is this Eliott’s way of telling him that he loves him? Lucas sniffles as he watches, Eliott is no longer telling the story, it is being told through drawings. How the two characters get together, how things between them fall apart before they fall back together, how they age and spend the rest of their lives together, how they live happily ever after.

Wow.

There is no other word to describe it other than wow.

When the video ends, everyone starts clapping. Some of the girls had gotten emotional as well and had reddish eyes. Lucas is just sitting there dumbfounded, not knowing how or what to do. He loves Eliott. He is so in love with Eliott. He loves him with every fiber of his being.

“What a beautiful product. How did you guys come up with the concept?” The teacher asks and Eliott takes the chance to respond because Lucas is still stunned.

“Well, Lucas and I started writing the story the same day we got the assignment. So, he wrote, I made the drawings and then when editing, I thought it was going to be better if I voiced over it a bit to make it more clear.” Eliott explains.

“Wonderful, wonderful idea. Good job you two!” The teacher praises. It isn’t until the bell rings that Lucas is shaken out of his thoughts and brought back to reality. He turns around to look at the beautiful boy next to him and has to fight the urge not to cry. He doesn’t say anything until they are both out of the class and out onto the schoolyard where they take a seat on a bench. Most of the students are in class right now, thankfully, which meant that Lucas and Eliott could have the whole place to themselves.

“You did all of that…” He asks more than states. “It.. it was the same as.. us.” He sniffles, clearing his throat and holding back the tears. Eliott is smiling at him. He reaches out to cradle the small boy’s head, his fingers buried in his hair.

“Well, yeah. I couldn’t think of a more beautiful story than ours.” He mumbles and Lucas loses it. Tears begin running down his cheeks like a goddamn river. He tries to look down so Eliott won’t see him in this ridiculous state but Eliott tilts his head back until their eyes meet. “Hey.. don’t cry, baby..” Lucas is shaking his head.

“I just.. I – I..” And the stuttering is back. “No one has ever.. done something like that… not for me..” Lucas speaks in a small, shaky voice.

“Well, get used to it because I will be doing a lot of things like that for you.” Eliott notes in a giddy tone, rubbing his thumbs over Lucas’ cheeks to wipe the tears away.

“Let’s go..” Lucas requests and earns a bewildered look from the older boy. “To my place.. I want to be alone with you right now..” His cheeks flush red and Eliott starts grinning from ear to ear, his eyes crinkling adorably.

“What about your friends?”

“We can meet them later.. just.. come with me.. please, I just want to be with right now..” He looks up at Eliott, reaching up to place his hands over Eliott which were still cupping his cheeks. Eliott nods in approval and the boys get up and take off.

* * *

There is nobody home right now. Manon is still at school. Mika is at work and Lisa is… God knows where Lisa is. So, the moment he unlocks the door and they step in, Lucas lurches forward and crashes his lips to Eliott’s, kissing him hard and deep, pushing him up against the recently shut door. Eliott giggles through the kiss, surprised by the sudden action from his boyfriend. Lucas has to lean up on his tiptoes to reach Eliott properly but it doesn't matter, they will be in bed soon enough.

Eliott has his arms circled around Lucas’s waist, leading him back to the bedroom while both of their hands are busy stripping the other off. Lucas is unzipping Eliott’s jacket and sliding it down his arms. Eliott is unbuckling Lucas’ belt. Lucas is yanking Eliott’s shirt over his head and tossing it aside. They alternate between kissing, giggling, stumbling all over the clothes they are spilling all over the corridor floor, and removing the pieces of clothing separating their hot bodies from each other. By the time they reach the bed, the only thing they have on is their boxers. Lucas pushes Eliott down onto the edge of his bed and goes to climb in his lap but trips over his own clumsy feet. Thankfully, Eliott is there to catch him, a teasing grin plastered over his face.

"Well, you have literally fallen for me now." He teases and Lucas gives him a sharp, pointed look. He tries to maintain the serious expressions on his face but ends up breaking and giggling, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"It was only a matter of time, I suppose," Lucas responds, lifting his shoulders up in a nonchalant shrug before slowly climbing in Eliott's lap properly this time, throwing his arms over the boy’s shoulders. They sit there for a few moments, studying one another's face and gazing into each other's eyes. The look in Eliott's eyes is dripping with adoration and love. His eyes speak louder than words and Lucas knows that this is it. What they have here, it's the real thing. It's the true, life-changing, complete and utter love people seem to talk about in books or on TV. He never understood it before but he does now.

"I have fallen for you.. head over heels as they say.." Eliott declares, head tipped to the side. His blue, desire-filled eyes studying Lucas' face. The small boy can't but blush at the intensity of Eliott's stare. Somehow he always ends up turning into a blushing mess around Eliott. There is no point in trying to hide it anymore, he's accepted it. Lucas leans forward, his eyes flickering shut as their hot mouths meet in a deep, wet kiss. Eliott’s hands are on the small of Lucas’ back before they start to move up then back down. The touch of the older boy’s large palm stroking over his spine sends chills throughout his body causing him to shudder. He’s never wanted someone so much in his entire life. It isn’t just sexual or physical. It’s much more than that. He wants Eliott in every single possible way that you could ever want someone.

“I love you..” Lucas blurts out through their kiss and into the older boy’s mouth. He pulls back, breaking the kiss, their eyes meeting. “I love you..” He repeats, wanting to make sure the boy heard it and it wasn’t muffled through their kiss. His hands coming to settle on the spot where Eliott's shoulders and neck meet, brushing his thumbs over the soft skin. Eliott just looks up at him with the softest smile, it warms up the small boy's insides and turns them into mush, his hands stroking over Lucas' thighs ever so gently.

“I love you too, Lucas..” Eliott responds without hesitation or second thought. One of his hands wanders up to cup the side of Lucas' face, caressing his thumb over Lucas' eyebrow before he leans in and begins to leave a trail of slow, loving kisses all across Lucas' face, causing his heart to do a cartwheel and the butterflies in his stomach to flutter violently. Eliott is the softest human being ever. Lucas remembers one time when he was watching a movie and saw a guy doing this same exact thing to the girl he loved and back then, he thought it was so cute and always wished he'd find a partner who would kiss him all over his face. And now he has found his amazing partner. The most amazing, considerate, sweet, kind, beautiful partner ever. Eliott said those three little, magical words so casually. Like it’s not the first time he’s said it.

And truth be told, it wasn’t the first time either of them has said it. They’ve said it in the way they've looked at each other, in the way they’ve held each other, in the way they’ve taken care of each other, in the way they’ve kissed, in the way Eliott covers him when he's feeling cold, in the way Lucas holds Eliott's hand when he's feeling anxious, in the way they can tell when something is going through the other mind without having to ask. In every single little thing they have done, they have confessed their love for one another.

Lucas gently pushes Eliott down until he is laying on his back, feet dangling off the edge of the bed. He leans forward and kisses Eliott with everything he has, trying to convey everything he feels through the kiss. He only breaks away from the kiss to duck his head down into the crook of Eliott's neck and begin to nibble and pepper kisses over it. He knows the exact spot that Eliott loves and when his lips find it, Eliott releases a groan deep from inside his throat. The older boy flips them over so that he is the one in control now, Lucas has his legs locked around the boy's waist and his arms circled around his neck. Soon they have completely stripped off their clothes, nothing between them anymore and they are back to kissing longingly, breathing each other in, their bodies molding together, their hands exploring each other's bodies, their burning chest and bodies moving against each other, colliding in passionate movements. They tug on each other’s hair, kiss, touch and please each other for what feels like hours. Neither wanting to stop until they are both so beyond tired that they no longer have any energy left whatsoever.

* * *

After taking a shower together and spending a long time making out and touching each other, Lucas and Eliott get out of the shower despite the young boy's objections. He'd rather stay in the flat with Eliott than go out but Eliott - after many many kisses- managed to convince him to get dressed. They join their friends at the skating rink. Turns out the park was a very bad idea considering that it was extremely cold and heavily snowing outside. Emma, Alexia, and Imane are skating and dancing, doing silly little moves whilst the rest are all sitting, taking a rest while eating snacks. Everyone cheers when the boys finally show up.

“Finally made it! Where were you guys?” Daphne asks and the boys share a look, Lucas feels his cheeks turning red and Eliott has a cheeky sort of smile plastered upon his lips. Everyone immediately gets the message and starts giggling, Basile smacks Lucas on the ass and mouths “good job” to him which the boy dismisses by rolling his eyes at his idiotic friend.  

They spend the rest of the day with their friends, they skate, they take pictures, they eat, they laugh and have a truly good time. Lucas looks around, studying each and every one of his friends, his own little family. Eliott catches his eyes and reaches for his hand under the table which Lucas takes without a second thought. He cannot help but think of how different things are now. but different in a good way. He's happier than he's ever been. Things with his mother are finally good. He found the man of his dreams and is surrounded by a group of loving and supportive friends. If anyone would have told Lucas months ago that this is what his life would’ve have been like, he would have told the person that they are absolutely crazy. He never knew how good life could be once you stop being so hard on yourself, once you let yourself fall in love, once you let people in and open up to them. Sure there are difficult moments, a lot of them actually but moments like these ones, where you are surrounded by people you love, who love you back, these are the moments that matter.

He truly is living his best life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so since this is like the final official chapter in the story, I would like to say some things:  
> First of all, I'm sorry for skipping the part of Eliott having an episode. This is my very first time writing and I was nervous about messing it up. I wanted to do it justice and when I thought that maybe I couldn't, I decided not to do it.  
> Second of all, thank you to each and every single person who stuck with me through this, who gave me compliments and sweet comments. You all have made me so beyond happy, you can't even begin to imagine how much. I am getting teary-eyed just by thinking of all the support I have gotten.   
> And finally, I will be writing another fic and posting it very soon so if you want to keep up with it or news about it, follow me on Tumblr: lucas-eliot.tumblr.com  
> Love you guys so much ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LET'S TRAVEL BACK IN TIME!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, mecs.  
> This is the very final chapter.

Emma, Alexia, Daphne, and Manon had invited basically the entire school – along with Imane's brother and whoever he wanted to bring – over for Imane’s surprise birthday party. Emma’s mother was out of the country on a business trip so the girls took this opportunity without a second thought. The plan was for the girls to tell her to come over thinking that they were going to be watching movies and eating junk food then they’d surprise her. Which evidently worked. Imane was so surprised and happy, surrounded by her favorite people, dancing, eating and having a good time.

It was a hotter than usual summer so, needless to say, the entire house reeked after an hour or so of partying. It reeked of alcohol, smoke, sweat, even vomit. It was absolutely disgusting. Nobody seemed to mind though. People were too busy jumping and drinking. Everyone was having a grand time.

Well…

Not everyone.

In the far end of the living room, a lonely, grumpy and heavily intoxicated Lucas sat on the floor, curled up in himself, a cigarette propped between his lips. The world around him spinning. He’d tried to find a private room or area in the house to go sulk in quietly but every single place was occupied with people having sex or making out. He truly did not want to be here. Not the slightest bit. But Imane was his friend, she’d helped him a lot at school and just because he’s having a bad night, doesn’t mean he should ditch her on her birthday. Not that she would mind because she has the girls and Lucas not being here would go unnoticeable. In fact, no one would even miss him if he weren’t here.

The small boy watched his friends dancing. It hasn’t been that long since Yann and Emma broke up but they were still making things work as friends. In fact, they were dancing with each other and cracking jokes. The rest of his friends, like Basile, well the guy was just being his idiotic self while Arthur looked out for him to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. Everyone seemed to be having a whale of time except for him.

You see, that day, his parents had gotten into a particularly bad fight. They’d said some nasty stuff to each other, yelled, broke some things and eventually, his father had just walked out. He had no idea if anyone was going to be home when he gets there. Part of him really wishes for the house to be empty when he gets back. At least that way he will be able to get some peace and quiet. It’s why he’d come to this party, to distract himself and forget about everything. But somehow, the alcohol seemed to be doing the opposite of making him forget. It was making him overthink. So he tried a bunch of stuff to see which one would work in making him forget his parents, forget their drama, forget everything and just have some peace.

Mixing different types of drinks is never a good idea. Especially if you consume large amounts of them quickly and on an empty stomach. All that paired with smoking does not make an for appealing duo. Which is exactly what led Lucas to feeling sick and lightheaded. It felt like his stomach was turning in on itself, like his entire body was on fire, like he is about to pass out then and there. He'd struggled to get up, taking him longer than necessary due to the condition he’s in. Once he's up and on his feet, he'd pushed his way through the smelly crowd of grinding people and found his way to the backyard door, pushed it open and the moment his feet stepped outside of the door frame, he'd  hunched down and vomited his guts out, tears pooling around the brim of his eyes, his face feeling hot and bothered. All he wanted to do was take a cold shower and go to sleep.   

“You okay?” A mysterious voice asks calmly, catching Lucas off guard and almost making him flinch. He hadn’t realized that anyone else was there. It’s kind of embarrassing but he’s so passed beyond that point that he no longer gives a shit about how horrible and disgusting this whole thing must look to the person who was minding his own business out here.

“Yeah. Perfect.” Lucas doesn’t look up to the stranger. He’s too busy emptying his stomach. It’s so repulsive. The smell of it, the warm air blowing against his skin and everything was just making him even sicker. It feels like he might not ever stop hurling which is ridiculous since he hadn’t eaten a thing all day so he has no clue where all of this is coming from.

The drunk boy almost loses his balance and trips down in his own vomit when a hand supports him up, keeping him from falling over. Fuck. He needs to get his shit together. He looks up to the person to thank them but the boy is rendered speechless, stunned. Is he dead? The person in front of him looks more like an angel than a mere human. He has to blink a couple of times to make sure his vision isn’t deceiving him.

“Am I dead?” He blurts out before he can stop himself. His wide, blown-out pupils studying the angelic-looking human. The stranger chuckles and shakes his head in response.

“Not at all.” He takes a small pause before asking “Let me help you go inside?”

“I can walk by myself” Lucas stubbornly states and the stranger just amusingly arches up his brows, a cheeky sort of smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he releases the very unbalanced and wobbly Lucas. He tries to hold himself up and succeeds in doing so for about 3 seconds because then he’s somehow tripping over his own clumsy feet and the stranger has to catch him yet again.

“Now, can we go in?” The beautiful stranger asks and Lucas nods, not resisting this time around. He doesn’t know who this person is and will probably forget about all of this in the morning so there is no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed.

The tall stranger hooks an arm around Lucas’ waist. He considers the small, intoxicated boy for a moment, a smile playing about his lips then he begins to lead him back inside the house. Nobody seems to even notice them. His friends seemed to have disappeared and he can only assume that they went to smoke somewhere private. Emma and Alex seem to have joined the people making out while dancing to the loud music. He has no clue where he is being taken or where he even is at this point. He just knows that at some point, he and the stranger enter an empty bedroom. Then he is led to the bathroom where the taller boy leans him against the sink while wetting a towel and bringing it up to wipe at his mouth.

“You know.. so much came out of you for such a small person.” The tall boy states and earns a glare from Lucas to which he responds to by giggling.

“Maybe you’re just too big.” He states and when he notices the bashful look on the other boy’s face, he corrects. “I mean toll.. no.. tttaaaallll” He has to enunciate each letter for the word to come out properly. The boy just grins at him and continues to wipe at his mouth with the towel. The boy smells so good, like smoke and cologne and coffee. Also, the crook of his neck looks like a really good place one could bury their face in. It must be so warm and soft. And now, all Lucas wants to do is just lean in and hide his face there. Without even knowing what he was doing, Lucas’ hand had come up and started playing with the short, soft hairs on the side of the stranger’s hair.

“You’re pretty.” He says drunkenly and earns the sweetest, most tender of smiles that he has ever laid eyes on. “And your hair is so soft.”

“Why thank you.” The tall boy responds, leaving the piece of cloth on the sink. “You are very pretty too” He is grinning so charmingly and Lucas just wants to lean in and kiss him but that would be horrible. He just threw up and must smell so awful. “Let me help you get on the bed, hm?” Lucas nods without having heard a word, being too busy staring and thinking of how beautiful this mysterious boy is.

“I thought you were an angel when I saw you so I thought I had died.” He giggles while climbing onto the soft mattress of the bed, plopping on his stomach and spreading his arms and legs widely, occupying the entire bed and making himself look like a starfish.

“Should I get a friend to stay with you?” The stranger asks in a smooth voice. Lucas has no energy to move his body so just lifts his head up and shakes it.

“No..” He drops his face back down to the mattress and sighs. “I want you to stay.” He says louder than he wanted to. It was just a thought going through his mind but he’d spoken it aloud without even knowing that he had. It was silent in the room for a few moments so he’d assumed the stranger was gone and he’s left alone in this big room so he let his eyes fall shut so he can get some sleep but then he feels a touch on his ankle, pushing his leg aside.

“Well, make some room for me if you want me to stay, geez.” His head whips up so fast that he hurts his neck. The myesterious boy is still in the room, pushing at his leg and making space for himself to sit on the edge of the bed. Lucas musters up enough strength to roll over on the bed until he is laying on his side, glancing up to the boy next to him.

“I’m Lucas by the way. Not that you asked but if you are gonna babysit me then you might as well know my name” He murmurs in a small voice and the other boy looks back at him, smiling.

“I’m Eliott.” Even his name is beautiful. Everything about him is just so fascinating. Lucas has never met someone that has stars for eyes and looks like an actual angel. This might be his only chance to be in the presence of someone like that. It’s not like he will ever be able to find someone who looks Eliott and who will want him. People like that are so out of his league.

“I’m sorry.. that.. that you had to bring me here and stay with me.” Lucas manages to stutter out. “I’m sure you have much better plans.” He feels silly having Eliott take care of him. It’s embarrassing.

“It’s okay. I am having a really good time actually.” Either Eliott is the kindest person to ever exist or he is making fun of Lucas. Who would have a good time babysitting a grown-up who had a little too much to drink? “Are..” The boy hesitates before finishing the sentence. “Thing okays with you?” He pauses. “I mean I saw you earlier, you looked sad.”

“I think I’m broken,” Lucas responds before he is able to stop himself. That sounds so stupid and it makes him feel even more embarrassed. Eliott seems intrigued though. He is watching Lucas with such intensity, head tilted to the side.

“Why would you think that?” He asks in a warm tone and the sound of his voice has Lucas melting.

“Because..” He looks up to the older boy, his eyes starting to get all teary, vision getting blurry. “My parents suck. I don’t know who I am and.. I feel like I’m stuck in a dark box and I can’t find my way out of it.” He lets everything out in one breath and it immediately feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. “Can I lay my head in your lap and you stroke my hair?” Eliott looks at him so sweetly, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Lucas can tell that he is trying to hold himself back from grinning at Lucas’ odd request but he just nods and Lucas, without a second thought, lurches forward and nestles his head on the comfortable lap of Eliott while the older boy strokes his hair out of his sight.

“You’re not broken.” He murmurs after some moments of silence. “You’re growing. It might be slow and painful but you’re still doing it and that is amazing.” His long fingers stroke through Lucas’ hair, sending shivers down his spine. “You know, if a flower grows out of concrete and it has dents or scratches. What do you think would matter most, that a freaking flower grew out and pushed its way through the rough concrete or the fact that it might have some scratches?” Lucas opens his eyes to look up and he almost regrets it. Because opening his eyes makes him realize that he has his head on this boy’s lap and this said boy has a pair of sparkling stars where his eyes should be.

“Alright, Gandhi.” Lucas murmurs sleepily. His eyes shut again but he can hear the other boy chuckling and even though he cannot see it, it makes him smile and feel better.

“I am serious though. I mean life is never going to be easy so having rough patches here and there, it’s going to make you become a better, more mature person” Lucas can’t help but wonder if those rough patches Eliott is talking about have happened to him as well because he seems to be such an expert of that topic.

“Is that what happened to you?” He asks and for a while, he gets not response. He knows Eliott is still here because the boy is still brushing his fingers through his hair.

“In a way, I guess you could say that.” He finally speaks after having thought through his words carefully.

Lucas parts his lip to speak but noises coming from outside interrupt. He recognizes those voices as his friends, Arthur and Yann. They probably noticed that he’s been gone for a while and came looking for him which like, _couldn’t they have waited for a bit longer?_ He was having a good time with this Eliott guy. It’s not every day that he gets to be this free around someone. Someone who seems so genuinely kind and lovely. It almost makes him want to go fight his friends for ruining this wonderful moment he was having. Tomorrow all the courage he had will be gone and he will have to get back to pretending as though things are all good when they clearly aren’t.

“I think your friends are looking for you.” Eliott remarks and starts laughing. Lucas’ eyes flicker open to look at what Eliott is laughing at and realizes that he’s pouting. That is why the boy is laughing. Because Lucas is freaking pouting like a kid.

“I don’t want you to go.” Lucas figured that as long as he is feeling courageous tonight, he might as well go all the way in. He wraps his arms around Eliott’s legs to prevent him from leaving and the older boy just beams down at him, grinning from ear to ear.

“Well, there is something called a cellphone. I can give you my number and you can talk to me or see me whenever you want to.” Eliott suggests, his tone is playful. Lucas nods, pouting still. “Alright. Wait.” He feels Eliott’s legs shift underneath him, the older boy’s stomach bumping against Lucas’ cheek as he leans forward in order to grab a napkin and a pencil off the bedside table. He doodles something on the napkin and hands it over to Lucas. “Okay. As much as I don’t want to. I think I should go find my friends too.” Having Eliott leaves feels dreadful. Sure, he only just met the guy and he practically knows nothing about him but he just has this warmth radiating off him. It just envelops you and makes you feel safe and sound, like all is right with the world. So, with a little help from Eliott, Lucas manages to sit up. Looking from side to side. Only now is he seeing that Eliott had taken him to the room of Emma’s mom. No wonder no one was in here. The door had probably been locked or something before Eliott found a way to open it.

“I bid you farewell and I hope to hear from you soon, Lucas.” Says Eliott. He’s standing up and walking backward toward the door, eyes locked on Lucas, not wanting to look away. He considers the small boy on the bed for a few extra seconds before randomly stating: “I love this song.”

“What song?” Lucas asks, bewildered. This Eliott guy is odd but the good kind of odd. The beautiful kind of odd. The perfect kind of odd. He tries to listen to the song playing outside of the room bu he doesn’t really recognize the melody nor the lyrics.

“It’s called leave a light on by tom walker.” Eliott explains. “Yeah.. it… it’s like a message to anyone going through a dark time that there’s always going to be someone there who will be that light for you when you need it most.” His lips quirk up into a soft smile. “Something to think about.” He stands there for one extra moment, staring into Lucas' eyes like he is staring into his soul before dedicating the small a lovely smile then leaving the room.

Lucas’ gaze drops to the napkin in his hand, fingers tracing over Eliott’s number. You know how sometimes when you meet a person and you just know that that person is going to change your life? That’s what it felt like with Eliott. It was strange how quickly he felt at ease with the boy, how quickly he trusted him, how good it felt with him. Maybe Eliott will be the light he needs in his darkest moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel emotional. I keep saying that this fic is like my child and I don't want to let go but it's time for it end.  
> I want to say thank to everyone who bared with me. I know that I am not the very best writer and maybe sometimes I wrote some things that didn't make sense but thank you for being so kind and supportive.  
> Anyone who messaged me on tumblr or left kudos/comments here: I LOVE YOU!


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